New Research Finds Trance Music Is The Missing Ingredient For Growing Test Tube Babies

In news we never thought we’d write, Russian scientists believe that trance music may play an important role in the better development of ‘test tube babies’.

*cues Sandstorm*

The findings reported by Altravita IVF clinic in Moscow found that the steady and consistent vibrations from trance music (ie. doof-doof) to eggs in test tubes increased the number of viable embryos by nearly a fifth.

According to The Times, 758 eggs were put through a ‘listening session‘ in which they were forced to rave to Armin van Buuren’s ‘A State Of Trance’ compilations for 24 hours a day at 80 decibels (about the same volume as a phone’s dial tone). Meanwhile the same number were nurtured in silence. We suspect the findings may have had even more success with Tiesto’s banger ‘Elements Of Life‘.

Surprisingly, those that attended the rave party had a much higher rate of viable embryos. These same eggs were also much more likely to reach the stage of being implanted in the womb, according to The Telegraph.

Honestly, you couldn’t make this stuff up.

Scientifically, this all checks out. It’s believed that the vibrations from the music create a similar environment to that of the womb immediately after conception.

Dagan Wells, an associate professor at the University of Oxford, said:

“It is possible that vibrations could simulate some of these effects by agitating the medium, helping to mix the fluid in which the embryo is immersed, diluting potentially harmful chemicals excreted by the embryo and increasing exposure to important nutrients.”

Well there you go!

And because we have a vague excuse to embed this here, we will. You’re welcome.