Just Hear Me Out: We Need To Stop Talking About Pineapple On Pizza On Dating Apps

If you’ve spent a lot of time on dating apps in your life, there’s probably one discussion you’re sick to death of and it revolves around people’s opinions on a certain pizza topping.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The pineapple pizza haters or the pineapple pizza lovers? The answer to both questions is simple: I don’t give a shit!

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I don’t have the real data to back myself up, but this is 100% the fault of Hinge over any other dating app. I have never seen SO many people ask about my opinion on pineapple on pizza until I went on Hinge. It’s spilled over to Tinder and Bumble, but I’d say 1 in 3 profiles I see on Hinge reference the whole pineapple on pizza debate. If it’s not that, it’s coriander. I don’t care if you hate it! Don’t eat it then, I’m not your mother!

So how did this phenomenon start? It could be traced back to articles dating years back when dating apps first became popular and the whole pineapple on pizza question was given as an example of a simple ice-breaker. But people, let’s make like humans and progress from this debate. It’s not interesting anymore. Some would say it was never interesting to start with.

Here are a couple of very important reasons why all us singles should collectively stop talking about pineapple on pizza.

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1. Deep down, none of us care.

I get it, it’s a conversation starter. But it’s one that we’ve now all been through 157 times minimum.

2. It’s not an actual dealbreaker, so why does it matter?

Imagine matching with the thotty of your dreams and they had a differing opinion to you about food. I just don’t think that’s going to ruin your connection straight-up, is it? No one is finally getting ready to hit all the bases with their crush, and being like, “before we get it on, I need to be honest with you. I am pro-pineapple on pizza” and nervously watching for a reaction, wondering if they’ve ruined the romance before it’s started.

No. One. Cares.

3. It’s honestly just time to try a new ice-breaker.

Have you ever tried talking about your childhood trauma?

4. Finally and most importantly: I would never, ever share my pizza with someone anyway.

One of my greatest talents in life is being able to eat a whole pizza to myself in one sitting, and yes I think this is impressive as someone who stands at 5ft tall. I’m not sure who’s out there sharing their pizzas but I don’t want a bar of it. Maybe it’s because my pizza taste has always been weird (FWIW I am pro-pineapple, and against all forms of cheese) or maybe it’s just because I am greedy.

Grow up, order your own damn pizza and leave me to enjoy my cheese-less monstrosity.

So my beautiful people of the world: let’s agree to stop talking about pineapple on pizza. We’re stronger united instead of being divided.

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