Tony Abbott Speaker

PM For Rent: You Can Now Hire Tony Abbott To Show Up At Your Next Event

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Cancel the comedian, magician, singer or whoever else you had lined up for your next corporate event, because you can now get the one and only Tony Abbott to thrill* the crowd. (*Crowd may not in fact be thrilled)

The former PM is one of the latest drawcards spruiked by the Washington Speakers Bureau’s list of big names, which also includes Tony Blair, George W Bush and Nicolas Sarkozy.

We know what you’re thinking, how could I ever decide which of those hilarious guys I want to invite.

The Bureau officially announced that Abbott would join their circuit late last year, offering buyers the chance to hear Tone speak his mind at their own event for a lousy $40k (plus costs).

It’s Abbott’s bio on the website though that is the most interesting part of this, with it doing a remarkable job of making his tenure sound like the most successful reign since Queen Lizzy.

Highlights include;

“With profound depth of experience, he is keenly positioned to offer unparalleled insight on leadership, the global economy, global trade, discuss a western perspective on the future of Asia, explore the short- and long-term future of China, and provide a unique and timely political outlook for your audience.”

“He is credited with policy implementations [to stop illegal maritime arrivals]”.

Or in layman’s terms; Tone stopped the boats and is pretty happy with himself.

“Election Forecast/Analysis” and “Leadership” are also listed as topics he is able to cover as a speaker, which seems to ring a little too ironically in our ears.

Jabs aside though, leading any nation (particularly one the size of Australia) is a task that takes some pretty hefty brain power and a thick skin, so if you can fork out the sizable appearance fee, swing us an invite as we’d be more than keen to come and hear what the 28th Prime Minister of Australia has to say.

Image via Facebook.