Drunk at Spring Racing Carnival and Melbourne Cup

29 Oct 2016

PSA: A Pictorial Reminder Not To Get Too Pissed At The Spring Racing Carnival

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Ahh, tis the season for fresh cut grass at Flemington, high fashion, can-apes and some trackside sparkling champagne. For the first hour or two everyone’s looking fine AF in their best outfits, polished shoes, tucked in shirts and well placed hats.

The lads are gentleman, ladies are princesses and for a second it looks like chivalry might set in for the day. We all squash in to the train, all on our best behaviour and giddy with excitement for a sophisticated affair.

However, it doesn’t last long for things to take a turn for the worst. Generally, it starts to get pretty ugly not long after mid-day. As afternoon sets in, the grass reeks of shit, some lady who’s old enough to be your grandma is taking a squat on the public lawn, no one’s wearing any shoes and some bloke called Daryl is on your shoulders singing Guy Sebastian. It’s fun at the time, but it leads down a path of regret and despair. No one wants to be ‘that guy’ featured in tomorrows newspaper. Trust us, we’ve been there and it doesn’t end well.

So, to commemorate the 2016 Spring Carnival kicking off, we’ve compiled a PSA to remind you of the carnage ahead should you push things too far. Remember to drink, eat, be merry and look after each other out there… it’s a long day.