Everything I Learned After Quitting Drinking For Over 30 Days
Hi, my name is Chelsea, and I have a ‘grey area’ drinking problem.
I previously identified as a down-to-clown mimosa loving woo-girl, who loved to day drink and dance all night, so after quitting the booze recently the last month has been what I imagined went on in my Sliding Doors parallel universe.
Why would I do something so drastic, you ask?
I was 16 when I got sick. Yep, not even legal drinking age, Mum knew something was wrong when I lost my appetite (rude!), so she bundled me off to the doctors. The details are hazy all these years on, but the gist was I had a low white blood cell count due to liver damage. Reminder: 16 years old.
Eventually, I moved on to adulthood and tried to forget my sordid past. I graduated from Cruisers and moved up in the world with wine, pretending That Year never happened.
But teen drinkers grow up to be adult ones and old habits don’t die at all, apparently. And so it went, until the neon sign that blinded me awake at 4 am, flashed “Chelsea, you in danger girl” and got too hard to ignore.
The past 30 days of quitting drinking have been a rollercoaster but here are some unexpected findings of how amazing life is without alcohol.
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1. You’ll save heaps and have a newfound generosity.
With anything that’s not drinking-related, I was like “please sir, you see, I get paid what I deserve and choose to live in the most expensive city in Australia but I absolutely must spend a third of my wage on this night out. Donate to those less fortunate, you say? Well as aforementioned, I cannot possibly spare the change!”
I never meant to be a tight-ass who prioritises their pennies toward drinking activities, but when I hit the town all logic left my sweet mind.
I would order an Uber then forget and order an Ola at the same time and get hit with an FTA fee. And I’d spend silly amounts on cocktails that could have fed a household for the week.
As it turns out, drinking and partying is an expensive hobby, so when you cut booze out of the budget you have HEAPS of spare cash to splash. Seriously!
With all this newfound coin, I had no qualms about shouting dinners or gifting treats anymore. I had more than I needed in my bank account and didn’t need to dip into my savings once this past month. I donated to a charity who needed my fun money more than I did.
Alcohol free and the milky bars are on me!
2. Shocker: You’ll still be social.
Without the armour of alcohol, I felt like I was raw doggin’ it with the world, fully exposed. It’s confronting, like standing in the crowd naked, but after a while, you love that naked breeze on your bum.
Newly sober, I could follow along with conversations, remain interested and ask considerate questions. A huge one for me, I could actually maintain eye contact too.
When I drink and chat, I get what my friends had affectionately named “the word jumblies”, which was a cute way of saying I got stupid and said weird shit. This would then spiral into anxiety and, you guessed it, downing more champs to try and counteract my nerves.
Without the drink, I was a heck more relaxed. I was still ready to get into the Deep And Meaningfuls at the end of the night, with the bonus of remembering everything I’d said.
As a plus, it turns out non-alcoholic wine was just as tasty and it still had me ready and willing to karaoke. Could it be that we don’t need to drink to socialise and have actual fun?
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3. Botox? Schmotox!
I’ve been getting Botox since I was 24 and now in my 30s, I resigned my fate to being a routine injectable user, scheduling this more than I do my dentist.
However, 30 days sober and two months overdue for my Botox, my face had acquired this glow I hadn’t remembered having before. My forehead still moved, like a human head should, but those deep seated lines from before didn’t linger.
My skin was hydrated not haggard, plump not bloated, and I was waking up on Sundays sans grey hue. I was beginning to have an idea of what a face my age was meant to look like.
External aesthetic aside, I found I was slowly becoming confident in my own skin. When I was a “girl about town”, I would find myself in swanky establishments that I felt I was not glamorous enough to be in. I longed to be a party girl that fit in everywhere, desperately and immediately. When I stopped revolving my world around drinking, the importance of what I looked like when I went out, and fitting in fell away.
That wasn’t how I’m now measuring my worth. Who cares if my roots have grown out and my pedi resembles wolverine? When you lift the veil of alcohol, you’ll meet a brand spankin’ new sexy inside-and-out you.
4. Waking up hangover-free is the best thing since sliced bread.
A morning after drinking for me was a teary, heart-racing affair, where I would implore my husband to talk me down and tell me I didn’t do anything “that bad”. Unfortunately, he can’t always sugar coat (or rather salt rim my margarita) for me.
He had to be the one to inform shame-faced me It Was Not OK to tell our friends when I was drunk that I was going to throw their baby in a lake if it cried during our wedding vows. I’m not really in the business of tossing babies, but bad jokes are not part of my brand and I was mortified.
So, waking up hangover-free these past four Sundays has been bliss.
I get up, greet the day while adjusting my halo and smile smugly as I trot out for a run. No more 3am panic attacks or dry mouth horrors. Life’s good.
5. You will mourn the life of the party but still end up celebrating at the wake.
Weird analogy there, but bear with me. Two weeks in, I would find myself crying (I’m a Pisces) over the thought of never drinking again. I’d had longer stints of not drinking before but this was the first time I had considered it being, like, forever.
My whole life revolved around drinking. Would my friends want to still see me? Did I have to become a tea drinker? I hate tea! No more wines on the balcony at sunset? I can’t drink the Moët I was gifted my birthday? I’m the most deprived person I know!
Well actually, now that you mention it… the last time I had Moët I claimed it was the most overrated champagne. And wasn’t there like a flesh-eating disease carried by mozzies about? Gross, I reckon I’ll switch my sun-downers on the balcony for coffee and croissants in the morn while I read Punkee articles.
And just like that, my brain reframed and life without a cosmo did not seem so bad. Now get that teapot out of my face, I haven’t sunk that low yet.
6. Your house will be cleaner.
Pretty simple one here. You come home from a night out and you aren’t too blitzed to do the dishes. Simples.
7. You’ll love yourself, like, for real.
I thought self-love meant “treat yo self” and smash a Kit Kat whenever you felt like it, however the true meaning revealed itself to me these past 30 days. I won’t bore you with the science on how harmful alcohol is for you, but when I was delving into some scary stats, a thought shot through my mind that never had before – “I love myself too much to drink this poison juice anymore”.
It was as if I had been electrocuted. As a woman in today’s society, to truly love yourself is a novel idea and I can’t believe I thought that about little ol’ me!
So charge your Kit Kat in a toast – here’s to you!
8 You’ll be less of, well, an arsehole.
I knew it was time to step away from the schooners when I noticed it was only after a few that I really fought with my significant other, AKA the nicest man in the world.
I felt like it was a super good idea to get in a “debate” or “challenge” him. These are fancy words I chose instead of what I was really doing: Being A Bitch.
A bright red ‘Your Drinking Is A Problem’ flag backhanded me halfway though one of our heated discussions, when it dawned on me I had no idea what we were talking about anymore. It would make sense to just drop it right? Nah. I was on a roll, baby! No point slowing down the Sass Train now! Choo-choo, let’s keep this up until the night is ruined for everyone!
Oh, and ever been super bright-eyed and bushy-tailed while being hungover at work? Liar liar, Sambuca shots on fire! I might as well have rolled into work in a trash can and answered the phone as Oscar because I was a deadset grouch.
My tolerance for mankind was non-existent and I hated this black cloud that hung over me (get it) all day. If I had friends staying over after a big night, I would play possum in bed the next day until they got the hint and left. Such a gracious host!
But in Soberland, you better get ready for woodland animals to braid your shiny locks, princess. Booze-free life makes me love everyone, even crying babies at weddings.
9. Some of your bod afflictions will probably heal.
I’ve been going on jogs as long as I’ve been doing shots (ages), so over time there have been some age-related wear and tear on the bod. By far the sexiest one is my long-term plantar fasciitis.
I’d accepted this was just the way life goes and learnt to live with my gammy foot. Weirdly thought, it’s been way less painful since my big quit. My creaky knees sound less like a typewriter in the morning too.
Maybe a coincidence? Maybe not. Either way, I’ll take it!
10. You’ll find new interests and the possibilities for what you can do are endless!
I went camping on Cockatoo island with a friend and instead of day drinking on the lawn, we decided to dust off our cartwheels. Drinking Me would have punched Sober Me in the face for daring to be so wholesome.
I thought I didn’t like sports and games… why do anything else when we can just sit still and get lit? But with my little neurons running around up there, lost for what to do, I found that I actually like participating in extra-curricular activities.
I wrote this article. Who knew I could write? Not me! When I drink, I can barely string a sentence together and have to close one eye to text!
Will I drink again?
Well, my crystal ball is off getting serviced, so I can’t answer that for sure. As of right now, it’s a no from me, dawg. “What about moderation!” I hear you cry. Personally, I’m an all (like seriously ALL) or nothing type and I know I can’t ‘Enjoy Responsibly’. For me, that measly moment of chemically induced euphoria isn’t a fair trade off for the tranquillity and constant joy I have now. My GP from high school would be so proud.
There’s also something satisfying about seeing a streak grow longer too, Wordle freaks know what I’m talking about!
There is nothing I have lost from my life from giving up booze. Zilch. In fact, I’ve gained so much from life these past 30 days, more than I would have, had I had a drink in hand. So imagine what else could be in store for the next 30 days, and the next 30 after that?
What other things am I capable of or actually enjoy doing that I had no idea about? Anyone need a new member of their bowling team? Clay bird shooting? Sign me up.