Here’s A Handy Realistic Thinking Guide For When You’re Stressing About The Future
There for whatever life throws at you.
It’s an exciting time to be a young person – we have so much to look forward to because we’re living in an age where anything is possible. But we all have days where we can feel completely overwhelmed about what lies ahead, too.
Sometimes, the weight of relationships, career troubles, study, and family commitments can feel like it’s all too much, which is why we’ve created a handy guide to help you make sense of the stress and anxiety we all experience from time to time.
Identify Where The Worry Is Coming From
Sometimes, when we get caught in the negative thoughts in our minds, it can be useful to try and trace these emotions – whether they’re anxious feelings or a sense of sadness – back to where they came from.
We can do this by asking ourselves leading questions: what exactly is going on? What triggered this feeling? Am I just having a bad day? Or are these feelings stemming from something else? Triggers can be anything from someone asking you if you have finished an assignment you’re struggling with to having an argument with a close friend or your S.O.
Which leads us to…
What Exactly Is Going Through Your Head?
Often, when we worry, it’s because we’re dwelling on the possibility of something in our life going badly. Once we’ve tried to figure out what triggered these feelings, it can be handy to nail down exactly what we are thinking about. Some good strategies to use if you are feeling a bit bleeurgh are talking to someone you trust or writing your thoughts down. For instance: “I’m scared that I will fail a subject” or “I’m worried that I won’t find a good job in the future”.
Just having the words out of our minds can be a great first step to looking at them without being overwhelmed by anxious feelings.
Ask Yourself If There’s Anything You Can Do Right Now
Once you’ve figured out where the worry is coming from, you can ask yourself if there’s anything you can do right now to fix the problem. Should you make a time in your diary to work on that assignment tonight? Should you call that friend who’s been ghosting you? If there’s nothing you can realistically do right now, worrying isn’t going to help, so try your best to put it aside and refocus on something else.
Challenge Your Thoughts
Being caught up in stress can mean that you’re not able to be realistic and fair to yourself – so challenging the negative thoughts is a useful way to transform your thinking. Four types of questions to ask yourself include: reality check, alternative explanations, putting things in perspective, and goal-oriented questions.
For example, if you’re thinking black-and-white thoughts like “I’ll never get a job”, you could give yourself a reality check by asking, “Will I never ever get a job?” and then reminding yourself of past successes you’ve had, no matter how small, as well as looking around mates who’ve already scored jobs.
Explore Different Ways Of Thinking
Trying to balance every negative thought with a positive one is a great technique, used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. If we try our best on that exam, but don’t do as well as we’d hoped, CBT methods can help us untangle thoughts like “I’m not good enough!” or “I’m not smart enough!” and translate them to “I did enough just by trying” and “Next time, I know what to work on. I am not a failure, I am a work in progress”.
For example, if you’re thinking “I’m not good enough,” you can note to yourself or write down a few things that mean you are good enough.
Know When To Reach Out
When we are working hard on ourselves, sometimes you have to call in reinforcements. If you’re finding it is an uphill battle, don’t be afraid to connect with other young people on the ReachOut Forums or try a counselling service through live chat, phone, or making an appointment with your GP.
Just know that these feelings are normal, fleeting, and can be overcome – and that the best work you ever do will be on yourself.
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(Lead image: Joe Gardner)
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ReachOut is there for whatever life throws at you.