Russia Warns Fidget Spinners Are Tools For Political Manipulation Because That’s Russia For You

Russian consumer watchdogs are trying to tarnish the good name of fidget spinners with claims that they are a dangerous “toy of the opposition”. Classic Russia.

The hype really began when a Russian state television show (Rossiya 24) aired a segment earlier this month labelling spinners an

“instrument for zombifying”, and a

“form of hypnosis”.

Seems legit.

This seems to be tactic #1 in Operation ‘Down With Fidget Spinners, Russia Addition’. They’re intent to push the message that fidget spinners are the enemy and we must beware of their power!?! Their PSA warns that the spinners:

“often have a negative effect on the psyche and make a person susceptible to manipulation.”

Now we are just a hop, skip and a jump away from some wild political conspiracy claims so buckle up! The presenter connects the US invented toys to tools of political opposition rallies taking place in Russia (an undeniably logical link!!!). He suggests foul play at opposition rallies with the speculation that:

“Possibly it is not by chance that they have started selling spinners”

Now Russia has moved on to Tactic #2: amp up the fear. The Russian consumer rights watchdog Rospotrebnadzor started accusing sweet little fidget spinners of being health risks. On Tuesday they released a statement with grave warnings about minors in fidget spinnin’ danger:

“Recently, so-called spinners have been aggressively marketed to Russian children and teenagers,”

These “so-called” spinners must be stopped!?! The announcement included a slew of fidget spinner safety precautions warning people not to buy spinners on the street, check them for dangerous defects and make sure to check them for chemical smells…? You can never be too careful.

In spite of their valiant efforts, it’s difficult to take Russia’s fear of fidget spinners seriously, maybe because no one wants to believe that something so great could be so evil. Team fidget spinners 4eva #NeverLetGo.