Just Hear Me Out: Sausage Rolls Are Far Superior To Pies & You Know It’s True

In Australia, pies are basically the closest thing we have to a national dish.

No, we did not invent pies. But we did finesse pies — they’re available in every flavour imaginable. In Australia, meat pies are also readily available basically everywhere: from your local servo, to every footy match, swimming pool, and school cafeteria. Pies are a big part of Australian culture, so it might be spicy to say this but: pies aren’t that good.

OK, I’m not saying that pies aren’t tasty. Obviously, pies these days come in delectable flavours ranging from butter chicken to lamb ragu– and I’m a fan. However, I can’t help but wonder how much better these fillings would taste if they were encased in a humble sausage roll.

Why are there so many flavours of pies, but sausage rolls are getting stooged?

I know that some fancy bakeries do offer different flavoured sausage rolls, but it’s still a rarity. Whereas every bakery in Australia offers at least five different flavours of pies: plain meat, beef burgundy, steak and onion, curry, and shepherd’s to name a few.

Where is the sausage roll representation?! One measly sausage roll flavour per bakery is an injustice to US ALL.

Here are a few reasons why sausage rolls are better than pies:

1. Sausage rolls just taste better.

Facts are facts. Nothing gets a group of friends more hyped than when someone drops that they’re bringing sausage rolls to an event. It simply doesn’t get better than that. Sausage rolls are clearly what the people want — it’s time to give it to them.

Pies are fine, but they don’t inspire the same level of joy.

2. Sausage rolls have a better pastry/filling ratio.

The best thing about pies and sausage rolls is the pastry, this is just a fact. Or else, we’d be eating bowls of stewed meat on its own. Hard pass.

The issue with pies is that while the surrounding crust is delicious, every time you eat a pie you dread the middle where the filling to pastry ratio is seriously off-kilter. Why bother having so much filling and so little pastry when you can wrap up the filling, encased in a roll — therefore there’s always the right amount of pastry. It’s the perfect balance.

3. Sure, pies can hold more sauce — but is that a good thing?!

The main difference between a pie and a sausage roll is that the filling in rolls is often drier — whereas pies are usually filled with more liquid. This is because sausage rolls are made with puff pastry, while pies are typically formed with a slightly denser flaky or shortcrust pastry. In the case of puff pastry, liquid can more easily spill through, therefore the filling can’t be too wet.

By contrast, pies are typically very saucy — but this is a hazard. How often have you been chomping on pie and either got burnt, or the sauce spilled onto your outfit? Not a vibe!

Surely a thicker sauce could be developed that would work in a sausage roll. If scientists can develop a COVID vaccine in mere months, pastry chefs can work out how to stop sausage rolls getting soggy.

Living in a world where I can visit Sausage Roll Shops and order a Butter Chicken Sausage Roll is all I need in this life. Just imagine!