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The 10 Emotional Stages Of Watching Netflix’s Truly Bonkers ‘Secret Obsession’

Netflix’s latest offering Secret Obsession is here to make you distrust men even more than usual.

The movie dropped over the weekend and it is, umm, bonkers. The story follows Jennifer, who wakes up in hospital with amnesia after a traumatic attack and is convinced that the man waiting at her bedside is her husband. But what if HE ISN’T?! That’s what the whole movie is about even though the trailer already spoiled the big twist.

Sure, Secret Obsession is entertaining but it also deeply confusing and so many things happen for no reason. I need a while to process it all.

Here are 10 of the emotional stages I went through while watching Secret Obsession on Netflix:

#1. First up, I already feel like I know what’s going to happen.

The trailer told us that guy is not her husband so wtaf? Also this dude is acting shifty AF so it’s immediately obvious he is a creep.

#2. But wait, fake husband is hot AF.

I know he’s a psychopath and all, but this faux hubby is ridiculously handsome.

#3. Their house is a fucking mansion. Hell yeah.

Things could be a lot worse. Embrace your new life, sis!

#4. Excuse me, but why are there so many scrambled eggs?

That insane portion of scrambled eggs is the most disturbing thing about this whole movie. How about a slice of toast? Something to break up all them eggs? Anything?!

#5. Wait, those photos are clearly photoshopped.

Ummm, Russell’s hair is grey, her husband’s is black??? Get your shit together with them PS skillz.

#6. Why did they let this strange man take this injured woman home?

After watching this shitshow, nothing surprises me anymore.

#7. But wait, I’m confused because what was Russell’s plan?

I’m baffled because he couldn’t have known she’d get amnesia. Was he going to kill all her loved ones and just pray she’d be cool with it? What you playin’ at, Russ?

#8. Either way, Jen has got to get out of there. I am stressed.

I’m on the edge of MY SEAT. Move, bitch.

#9. This movie offered a lot of questions but not a lot of answers.

Umm, so what the fuck did Russell do to Jen’s parents? Did he mummify them? Was that necessary?! Then there was the guy who brought flowers and we learnt nothing about him. Ugh! This movie.

#10. I’m now afraid of anyone who ever had a crush on me.

Seriously, I’m starting to think about all the Tinder matches I’ve snubbed over the years.

If this movie taught me anything it is that most men are shifty and you can never eat too many scrambled eggs.