The 10 Emotional Stages Of Watching Netflix’s Truly Bonkers ‘Secret Obsession’
Netflix’s latest offering Secret Obsession is here to make you distrust men even more than usual.
The movie dropped over the weekend and it is, umm, bonkers. The story follows Jennifer, who wakes up in hospital with amnesia after a traumatic attack and is convinced that the man waiting at her bedside is her husband. But what if HE ISN’T?! That’s what the whole movie is about even though the trailer already spoiled the big twist.
Sure, Secret Obsession is entertaining but it also deeply confusing and so many things happen for no reason. I need a while to process it all.
Here are 10 of the emotional stages I went through while watching Secret Obsession on Netflix:
#1. First up, I already feel like I know what’s going to happen.
The trailer told us that guy is not her husband so wtaf? Also this dude is acting shifty AF so it’s immediately obvious he is a creep.
dont you just love it when the movie trailer just showed the whole story of the movie… but you watch it anyway 😂😂😂 #secretobsession
— Despondent1412 (@despondent1412) July 18, 2019
— Megan Dupuis 🔮 (@MegEliz1) July 21, 2019
#2. But wait, fake husband is hot AF.
I know he’s a psychopath and all, but this faux hubby is ridiculously handsome.
If I woke up and someone told me Mike Vogel was my husband, I wouldn't even argue it! 😍😄#secretobsession
— Kerry Stevenson (@ChibiFox87) July 18, 2019
#3. Their house is a fucking mansion. Hell yeah.
Things could be a lot worse. Embrace your new life, sis!
Russell: Yeah you can stay in this big ass house as a house wife, just mind your business
Jennifer: I need to find the truth
— Kamaya Tarpley (@kamayatarpley) July 18, 2019
Would anyone else NOT be upset if a hot guy tricked you into thinking you married him, live in a big house, didn’t have to work bc he’s rich as balls and he’s obsessed with you? Or… just me? @netflix #SecretObsession
— Lauren Scalzo (@Scalzetti14) July 21, 2019
#4. Excuse me, but why are there so many scrambled eggs?
That insane portion of scrambled eggs is the most disturbing thing about this whole movie. How about a slice of toast? Something to break up all them eggs? Anything?!
Watching the new movie #SecretObsession on @Netflix and the only thing suspenseful about it is how in the world she managed to eat this obscene amount of scrambled eggs for breakfast. pic.twitter.com/z3ILc5wbLw
— L. Spencer (@lndsyannkc) July 19, 2019
#5. Wait, those photos are clearly photoshopped.
Ummm, Russell’s hair is grey, her husband’s is black??? Get your shit together with them PS skillz.
This man really went through every picture in the house and photoshopped them but missed something like reflections and lighting that’s obviously different. Dumb criminal 🤦🏾♀️ #SecretObsession pic.twitter.com/AIiLHV5iAz
— KC (@kcbigbrother) July 18, 2019
The most ridiculous part of #SecretObsession is how long it takes homegirl to realize her pictures have been poorly photoshopped. Millennials can spot this from a mile away. pic.twitter.com/Vsx8IjmCKj
— Gia (@OH_itsjustGia) July 20, 2019
#6. Why did they let this strange man take this injured woman home?
After watching this shitshow, nothing surprises me anymore.
Detective: How did you know this was Jennifer's husband?
Cop: He was able to identify her tattoo
Detective: So… you didn't ask for ID or anything…?
Cop: … did we mention it was a detailed tattoo?
— Bri 🔜 Gen Con Author Alley Table N ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 (@BrichibiTweets) July 19, 2019
#7. But wait, I’m confused because what was Russell’s plan?
I’m baffled because he couldn’t have known she’d get amnesia. Was he going to kill all her loved ones and just pray she’d be cool with it? What you playin’ at, Russ?
Just curious… there’s no way “Russell” could know she’d get hit by a car and get the brain concussion that would result in her amnesia. So what exactly was his game plan? Something doesn’t add up #SecretObsession pic.twitter.com/GxC4Ey6fZl
— criticallycassiopeia (@criticallycassi) July 19, 2019
#8. Either way, Jen has got to get out of there. I am stressed.
I’m on the edge of MY SEAT. Move, bitch.
— CaptnOfDaCooLKidz😎 (@ICanOnlyBeChino) July 20, 2019
When the girl was going down the stairs with her broke ass ankle idk why she didn’t just get on her ass and scoot down #SecretObsession
— Chelsea (@J0anChelsea) July 20, 2019
#9. This movie offered a lot of questions but not a lot of answers.
Umm, so what the fuck did Russell do to Jen’s parents? Did he mummify them? Was that necessary?! Then there was the guy who brought flowers and we learnt nothing about him. Ugh! This movie.
— Elena Nicolaou (@elenawonders) July 18, 2019
but first… who the fuck was the guy who showed up to the hospital with flowers?! #SecretObsession
— ShaWee💋 (@_yupthatsteva) July 19, 2019
#10. I’m now afraid of anyone who ever had a crush on me.
Seriously, I’m starting to think about all the Tinder matches I’ve snubbed over the years.
After watching #SecretObsession, I am worried about all the crushes, I have ignored once upon a time😅✌️
— Shiam Al Harthy (@ShiamAlHarthy) July 18, 2019
If this movie taught me anything it is that most men are shifty and you can never eat too many scrambled eggs.