On June 4, 2002 the world changed forever.

It was on this day that the greatest pop album of our generation, Let Go by the incredible, the indomitable, the irrefutable, the often duplicated but never replicated, Avril Lavigne entered the world — a truly blessed day.

You wouldn’t be wrong in saying that every single track on the album slaps, bops, and is a total banger, but when we break it down, there’s one song that reigns supreme.

I am of course referring to none other than ‘Sk8er Boi’.

Now I’ve listened to the song several times, but it wasn’t until one lazy Sunday a month or two ago when I was sitting on a friend’s couch blasting the absolute tune, that it hit me…

Is Sk8er Boi the father of the baby The Girl Who Did Ballet had?

You’re probably thinking one of two things right now: “you’re a fucking genius” or “bitch, no.” Well, whether you’re along for the ride or on seeking ~pRoOf~ or ~EvIdEnCe~ strap yourselves in because it’s going to be one wild ride.

IT’S AN AVRIL LAVIGNE CONSPIRACY, BABY!

Their Entire Relationship Was Entrenched In Secrecy

The Girl Who Did Ballet (who from this point on will be referred to as Becky)  had an interesting relationship with Sk8er Boi. The two liked each other — or at least wanted to bang — evidenced by the lyric:

“He wanted her

She’d never tell

Secretly she wanted him as well”

The reason, or at least one of the reasons she wouldn’t tell was because of her disapproving friends, who would rag on SB for his baggy clothes.

So instead, the two were together in secret. I mean, come on, there’s no way that two horny, hormone-fuelled teens who dug each other weren’t bumping uglies on the reg.

The secret, however, became too much that she cut things off. When this happened is totally unclear.  Was it five years prior to the concert? Or was it in between high school and that time? (How that’s possible will become clear later.)

Since Becky was so good at keeping secrets, is it so wild to consider that perhaps she hid the fact that her child was half SB’s? I mean, would you rock up to your high school crush’s rock concert five years after cutting contact just to say hi? Probably not.

Would you rock up five years on to tell him that he’s your baby daddy? Probably.

The Lyrics Are Told From Sk8er Boi’s New Girlfriend’s Perspective

One of the most important things to remember about this song is that it’s not told by Becky or SB, but instead SB’s new girlfriend (who we will refer to as Avril). How could Avril possibly give an accurate account of SB and Becky’s history when she wasn’t even there to witness it?

There are two sides to every story, and Avril has only been subjected to one side — Sk8er Boi’s.

If by chance SB does know that he’s the father of Becky’s baby, wouldn’t it be all too convenient that the current girlfriend, Avril, sees her as a desperate high school crush? The way Becky is portrayed in the story is exactly how SB would like her to come off… especially if he was trying to cover up the fact he has a kid.

Like, “oh nah she didn’t want me then, she was so stuck up but now that I’m making money she’s coming out of the woodwork.”

I smell a stunt.

Now this paints SB as a piece of shit deadbeat dad, which very well mightn’t be the case, but look… it could be.

And if we’re living this narrative where SB is a liar who intentionally left out important details of his relationship with Becky, what’s to say he wasn’t still hooking up with her while in a relationship with Avril? If this is the case, it hadn’t been five years since SB and Becky had seen each other, and her baby very much could be (is) his.

Let’s Debunk The Evidence That Might Prove Otherwise

The timeline is murky, but if we are reading the lyrics as objective truths, five years had passed since Becky saw SB when she tags along to his show.

This means that if SB knocked up Becky five years ago, it seems weird that she refers to their kid as a “baby”, right? But tell me, which sounds more correct to you?

“Five years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the baby she’s all alone”

OR

“Five years from now
She sits at home
Feeding the five year old she’s all alone”

I think you and I both know the answer. Sometimes words with fewer syllables just make more sense in songwriting, in order to keep that rhythm and flow. Who’s to say that her kid is not five, but is being referred to as a baby?

Plus, as I explained earlier, time really can’t be taken literally when an entire history is being explained by someone who wasn’t there and has only been subjected to the story from someone who, more than likely, is just trying to hide the fact he is a runaway dad.

We reached out to Lavigne for comment but are yet to hear back.

Now, we wait…