12 Very Real Struggles Of Growing Up With Asian Parents

People who’ve grown up with Asian parents know that the struggle is all too real.

Before you’re born you’ve already had your entire life planned for you. Your school, tutors, degree, profession; there’s no need to do anything except study!

Sounds great, right?

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So whether you’re East Asian, South-East Asian, Brown Asian or just ethnic asf, we’ve put together some of the biggest struggles of having Asian parents that we’re sure you can relate to.

So finish your school homework, tutoring homework, Kumon homework, and personal home homework, because we’ve got the shit that all Asian kids go through:

1. You were always compared to a random cousin or family friend.

Growing up, you were constantly reminded that SOMEONE was better than you. If you got 92% in a test, it was worthless because Dara got 99%. And if you became a lawyer, well guess what? Preethi became a doctor so you may as well just die now.

2. Y’all hoarded hotel soaps, shampoos, Macca’s ketchup… pretty much anything ‘free’.

Every Asian household has a drawer full of ‘free’ hoarded products. And we use the word ‘free’ in quotation cos is that shit really free? Napkins, soaps, even sugar from coffee shops, all brought home, but still never actually used.

3. You were forced to practice the instrument that you were forced to learn.

Let’s be clear, we aren’t talking about the drums or the guitar.

If you don’t have a memory of yourself crying over the piano while your parents made you practice your scales, did you really have a childhood?

4. You find eating meals weird if there’s no rice.

Honestly, it’s not a full meal unless there’s rice involved. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is, doesn’t matter if your mum is experimenting with cuisines and makes burgers. Rice = food and that’s that.

First time I went to a friend’s house and there wasn’t rice, I was literally so confused.

5. You’ve got a big-ass collection of….plastic bags

Let us tell you something, Asian parents are out here saving the earth because they be reusing plastic bags like there’s no tomorrow. Honestly, this is barely a struggle, because having a bag or cupboard or dispenser full of plastic bags, was convenient asf.

6. If you didn’t get an A, you got a F.

The worst two days of every Asian kids year was the day the report card arrived because that ‘ish was the make or break of whether you were gonna be loved this year or not. White kids at school were cheering when they got B’s and C’s, meanwhile, I’m out here shitting myself.

Also: was it just my parents that when I finally got straight A’s, they would still get mad and say “Australian testing is too easy.” DAFUQ?!

7. There are only three career paths in life.

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If you’re Asian, you won’t even have to keep reading, because you already know what they are. But for the Caucasians out there, if you aren’t a doctor, lawyer or accountant (bonus engineer option for Indians), then you’ve failed and please go drown yourself.

8. You’ve done every single fucking extracurricular activity under the sun.

Piano? Violin? Soccer? Cantonese? Kumon? Swotshop? Chess? Choir? Honestly, try me. I’ve done it all.

9. Telling your parents a joke or story turned into a bashing.

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Asian parents are deprived of the great stories, quality bants and teen politics that go on, because anytime you tell them anything it would always be flipped and you would end up getting yelled at.

10. Always having to ask for permission before going out, I’m talking even after turning 18.

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Yep, you read that correctly. White families have this ‘thing’ that the minute you turn 18 you are a self-sufficient adult who’s capable of making their own decisions.

When you’re Asian and you turn 18? Literally means nothing.

11. Your weekend alarm clock was a vacuum.

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We’ve all been woken up, 6am Sunday morning, to a loud as fk vacuum cleaner being banged against the outside of our bedroom door. OR, if your parents were extra evil (mine), they’d come into your room, chuck up the blinds, and start vacuuming.

It’s not even that they’re trying to wake us up. It’s just that there’s something in their brain that tells them that now is the perfect time to do this task, and you won’t even notice.

12. Your remote had plastic on it.

Asian parents LOVE keeping the plastic on things. Apparently, it keeps it fresh. That goes the same for sofas, mattresses (yep), bank cards, and even WARRANTY STICKERS. Come on guys, YES keep it wrapped, but not always!