the grinch

A Survival Guide To Going Back Home For The Christmas Holidays

December is here, and that means a few things. Queen Mariah is (rightfully) back in the charts, it’s time to eat way too much food without feeling guilty about it, and soon you’ll be heading home for the holidays.

Look, depending on what kind of family you come from, heading home for the holidays can bring up different kinds of feels. Some look forward to it all year, while others might prefer to be hit with a car than spend a second with their extended fam – each to their own!

Saturday Night Live Christmas Dinner GIF by HULU

If you (like so many of us) low-key dread it, don’t sweat. We have some totally helpful tips on tricks on how to survive the holidays at home like a pro.

Know How To Deflect Questions

If you live out of home, your family will relish in taking this time to try and interrogate you. Don’t let them.

You’ll have to be quick on your feet, but if you can master the skill of deflection, it’ll make this time so much easier.

When someone asks why you’re still single, instead of trying to explain to them that you struggle to look after yourself, and god forbid you ever be attached to or responsible for another human, just comment on how delicious the chicken looks!

Chicken Nuggets Love GIF

Or when someone asks you uni is going, compliment them on their outfit and demand them tell you where they got it. Even if it’s ugly as shit (it probably is) it’s easier than explaining that you haven’t been to class in 10 weeks.

Have Your Clapbacks Locked & Loaded 

If there’s one thing we know to be true about extended family, it’s that they love to get all up in your grill despite never receiving an invite to your BBQ. If you’re not too good at smiling and nodding when insulted, be prepared with some clapbacks.

For example, try something like this:

Aunty Janet: “Oh wow, another glass of wine, this early in the day? Someone loves a drink.”
You: “This is why your husband left you.”

Sassy Keeping Up With The Kardashians GIF by E!

Or something a little more subtle:

Cousin Patricia: “Haha, don’t you reckon it’s weird you’re the only single one here?”
You: “Don’t you reckon it’s weird that having three kids didn’t fill the void in your unhappy marriage?”

Just use whatever works for you! Just remember try not to be too hectic, you won’t have to deal with them in a weeks’ time.

Know Your Escape Route

The greatest part about going home for the holidays is that more than likely, your old friends will be there too! If ever you need a breath, or a little space, hit them up. Your parents shouldn’t be will offended because they’ll understand that you want to spend time with your old pals.

Go Go Go Fml GIF
Don’t have any friends? Me neither! Take your dog for a walk to the park, hide away in your room, read a book, listen to a podcast – just have something that’ll work as a little escape for when you need it.

Try To Enjoy Yourself

Now I know this one’s a stretch, but try your best. Take this time to hug your mum, hang out with your dad, catch up with your siblings, play with your dog and – most importantly – eat a lot of food.

Some aspects of going home for the holidays are cringe-inducing, and enough to make you want to deep-fry your own hands then jump into the ocean, but try and find the good parts, and hold onto them for dear life.

Andy Samberg Fist Bump GIF

Go find your coolest cousin – you know the one – and drink wine and talk shit!

This is a time you can just kick back, relax, not cook for yourself and if you’re lucky your mum might even do your laundry for you. A sweet deal if I’ve ever seen one.

Happy holidays friends, and good luck.