Tonight’s ‘The Bachelor’ Retold In Hilarious Tweets
It feels like only yesterday we were meeting a fresh batch of contestants on The Bachelor but here we are exactly one day later and it turns out the fun never stops.
Tonight’s episode shook the original contestants to their very core. Instead of competing against 18 other women, eight more ladies were added to the mix, bringing the total to 26. This! Is! A! Big! Difference!
So big that it causes Emma’s entire world to implode. There’s no doubt that this divide between the original and new girls is likely to result in drama in the coming episodes. It’s petty and ridiculous and I cannot wait. Until then, here are the best live-tweets from tonight!
Episode Two of The Bachelor retold via hilarious tweets:
Sogand’s solo date saw her and Matt helicopter to a scenic forest where they dined with an orchestra.
SHUT UP THIS DATE IS ACTUALLY GORGEOUS AND I AM NOT READY TO BE MOVED TEN MINUTES INTO EPISODE TWO #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 1, 2019
Sogand is surprised to find a formal dress in the bush but not an entire string section? #TheBachelorAU
— Kristen Amiet (@KrissiAmiet) August 1, 2019
i love love ?#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/kWlZqrp2S3
— Bradley Johnston (@bradjohnston_) August 1, 2019
This is what's known as "stringing her along".#TheBachelorAU
— Tegan Higginbotham (@TeganMH) August 1, 2019
Emma was not thrilled with it.
Emma is Not Okay #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/MevZEg5K0T
— Jenna Guillaume (@JennaGuillaume) August 1, 2019
Emma watching their date to make sure they don’t kiss #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/D6XrEfRjB0
— Ella Margaret (@ellamargaret) August 1, 2019
Emma wants that first kiss of the season with Matt #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/hh3rq1Gs6R
— Dylan Matthews (@DylanMatthews91) August 1, 2019
The original girls freaked out when they heard new ladies were joining the competition.
Old girls: it only feels yesterday since we arrived.
Everyone: because it was. #TheBachelorAU— Chicken of the Sea (I'm a A Real ?) ??? (@Bob64St) August 1, 2019
I-I barely remember the first lots name and we are already referring to them as originals vs new girls #TheBachelorAu pic.twitter.com/a0Va9oVb4N
— dumb bitch ✨? (@kikicherrybabe) August 1, 2019
Rachael, shitcake is like pizza. Even when it's a bad batch, it's still pretty good. #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 1, 2019
The new girls rocked up as the OG contestants judged and bitched about them. It was nasty stuff.
My son is now scared of girls. He’s 15. #TheBachelorAU
— Merryn Porter (@Merryn_Porter) August 1, 2019
Why can’t the girls wear family feud type name tags for the first 10 eps so we know everyone and can spell their damn names #TheBachelorAu
— Nessa Vee (@NessaFayBayBay) August 1, 2019
Thankfully, Nikki’s cheerleading routine saved all our souls.
NIKKI IS THE NEW PARTY BRITTANY, WE STAN ?#TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/6tskDcqSCp
— Jessica Lynch (@jesskalynch) August 1, 2019
If there's one thing astrophysicists LOVE it's bespoke cheerleading. #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 1, 2019
Most of the girls were intimidated by Monique, who is apparently err… Nichole’s twin?
Monique is Nichole’s twin? ARE YOU BLIND #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/IU07ZpaiSy
— alysha (@intosneedy) August 1, 2019
Nichole: “She looks like me, but shorter”
Everyone else: #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/jC3mxXdXWN
— ret (@Retta_Potterfan) August 1, 2019
I am also blonde. I am now, by default, also Nichole’s twin. #TheBachelorAU
— Bridget McKernan (@bridget_mck) August 1, 2019
I'm absolutely screaming that you'd go on the bachelor of all places and have the teeth to call another blonde woman a desperate doppelganger, #thebachelorau, known for its diversity of blondes and brunettes. pic.twitter.com/vRHXcFhsF1
— Dame Kittness (@SoftKittyWarm) August 1, 2019
Sogand felt threatened by another Persian contestant entering the mansion.
You're Persian? But I'm Persian! You can't be Persian! Being Persian was how I was going to win his heart you Persian bitch! #TheBachelorAU
— tom (@thomas___carter) August 1, 2019
Like a Persian, introduced for the very second time. #TheBachelorAU
— Jo Thornely (@jothornely) August 1, 2019
There are like 20 white girls I think it’s ok to have TWO Persians #TheBachelorAU
— Jenna Guillaume (@JennaGuillaume) August 1, 2019
At the cocktail party, six ladies were sent packing. We hardly knew thee. But more importantly, where is VAKOO?!?!
But where's Vakoo? Did I miss something? Did she smize out the door when nobody was watching? #TheBachelorAU
— Flossyfloss (@Flossyfloss7) August 1, 2019
UM EXCUSE ME??? #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/pkxH1cNa8a
— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) August 1, 2019