There’s No Denying ‘The Bachelor’ Was On TV Tonight: Here’s What Happened
It’s an indisputable fact that The Bachelor was on TV tonight, 7:30pm on Channel 10, because it’s a Thursday and that’s the night it’s usually on. It’s also on Wednesday nights, in case you missed that memo.
With Locky and his remaining wives being reunited for the first time since lockdown, the cocktail party saw Rhonda walk out for good after Juliette pushed her buttons one too many times. Former BFFs Irena and Bella also had a showdown, resulting in Bella yelling out “friendship over”, triggering us all to the days of being in Year 9, having your friends ask you to go for “a walk on the oval” before kicking you out of the group over something you didn’t do.
Ahh memories.
Locky also took new intruder Bec on a date, and they managed to find something worse than kayaking: white water rafting. Actually, that wasn’t the worst part at all. The worst part was how boring all of this was to watch.
Well, I don’t know about you but I’m sure as hell not getting any younger and my back hurts.
Let’s recap what went down on episode 10 of The Bachelor.
1. Locky enthusiastically kissed all his girlfriends hello again upon their reunion.
I went through this part meticulously to see if he did plant one on Izzy, so you’re welcome.
Forget social distancing, these horny devils weren’t having a bar of it.
Anyway, this whole montage was basically a hug/kiss, “wow, you look stunning” “how are you?” “well, I’m good NOW” times 100. We get it! You all missed each other! You can hang out in a large group again! Half your luck!
2. While waiting in the cold for the final arrivals, Locky practiced his best “I’ve just been rejected or I’ve rejected someone else” pose, just in case.
You never know what the season is going to bring, and he’s learned from the best.
He also imagined his future. What would life after The Bachelor bring? This is what the crystal ball showed:
3. Anyway, it didn’t take long for drama to start brewing at the cocktail party.
It first kicked off with Irena admitting she wasn’t keen to see Bella. Then when Juliette arrived, it didn’t take long for her and Roxi to kick off again and have another argument about not liking each other while they both said they had been the bigger person in this whole saga.
And then when Bella arrived, she completed blanked Irena when saying hello to the other women, so ladies and gents, we’re officially back in high school now! Let’s take a trip down memory lane, link arms, and relive all our teenage trauma together through watching this show play out.
4. We learned more about what happened between Irena and Bella.
Bella pulled some of the other girls aside to let them know that Irena now really ‘grinds her gears’ and that she’s “toxic.” Bella also dropped that Irena had told her that Locky was calling Irena every day, therefore that makes Irena a “compulsive liar”.
Confused? Me too.
As Irena went to chat to Locky, Bella flipped out saying Irena was having a bitch to Locky about her and “fabricating” things.
Irena then pulled Bella aside to say she’s missed their friendship, and Bella said things are hard because she feels like she’s been backstabbed. They then have this circular argument about Bella being mad because Irena said Locky called her, when in FACT, Irena had messaged Locky first and THEN he called her, so therefore Irena is a liar… I guess.
Bella then stormed off after dragging Izzy into the situation, yelling “friendship done!” and calling Irena a manipulative bitch.
We’re all Izzy in this moment, begging for help with our eyes.
Honestly, I think my brain exploded out of my head trying to understand what the hell was going on here. My ghost is now writing this recap.
5. Intermission: Which Juliette are you today?
Personally, I’m a solid #4.
6. We said farewell to Rhonda. RIP to our walkout Queen.
Previous to this, Roxi and Locky did have a chat, where she brought up his kiss with Bella that feels like it happened approximately 77 years ago. “Looking back would you do that again?” she asked him, with him replying that, yes he normally does just do whatever jumps into his head in any given situation. I don’t think he’s talking about using his brain either, I just get a vibe Locky likes thinking with his other head. Call me crazy.
Also, did Locky get a lockdown earring? Why does he all of a sudden look like a guy that should be in an Aussie mid-late ’00s pop-punk band titled something like ‘The Car Crash Experience’ and who pops up at Hot Damn every Thursday night hitting on girls 10 years younger than him?
OK yes let’s get back on track: Rhonda eventually walked out.
As we all know, telling someone who is worked up to “calm down” always works wonders, a foolproof technique.
Now rumour has it, that Roxi actually walked out after Juliette continued to push her buttons after filming had ceased, so we didn’t get to see the real trigger for Roxi leaving. What we do know though, is the 2020 cocktail parties won’t be the same without her.
Who’s going to threaten to leave or cry every cocktail ceremony from now on? Only me now? All on my own? Great!
7. Locky and Bec went white water rafting for their solo date.
Kayaking is SO last season.
After Bec took a tumble out of the raft, Locky was quick to pull her up and throw her across his big, broad, manly chest and they eventually shared a sneaky rafting kiss.
I have no jokes left, it was all very boring, so while this kind of water action may be Locky and Bec’s fantasy, here’s mine:
Yay, the sun is out, two hot people are kissing each other after partaking in some boring AF conversations. Everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you’re part of a team!
Everything is awesome, when you’re living out a dream!
Locky was stoked to get a pash in because in case we haven’t learned already, he’s a physical guy who needs that physical connection. “After a couple of weeks in isolation, I need that a lot,” he said.
DON’T WE ALL LOCKY. DON’T WE ALL.
8. And Bec got a rose.
“Will this rose accept this Bec?” Locky asked the rose.
And then the episode just ended?! So see you next week?
