the bachelor recap tweets episode 13

Tonight’s Final Three ‘The Bachelor’ Dates Retold In Hilarious Tweets

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We’re almost at the end of a truly forgettable The Bachelor season, which has simultaneously felt like the shortest and longest in the show’s history.

Tonight saw Jimmy go on final dates with his top three — Holly, Brooke, and Jay — which the ladies had to organise for a change. The good news is that means there was no planes involved, the bad news is that someone (Holly) still arrived on a boat.

Between the three women, the obvious frontrunner is still Holly, as unlike the other two ladies’ dates, hers wasn’t occupied by Jimmy grilling her about tea spilt by family members at hometowns. Instead, they cooked lunch together before Holly told Jimmy she had fallen in love with him. Just give her the winner’s sash already!

Jay and Brooke’s dates didn’t go as smoothly. Jimmy quizzed Jay about the famous ex that her friend mentioned at hometowns and she told him she had dated a former New Zealand Bachelor, which did little to convince Jimmy that Jay is on the show to find love — rather than to chase fame.

Jimmy and Brooke’s date was a little too horny for my virgin eyes, but before their steamy pool sesh, Jimmy confronted Brooke about her brother’s revelation that she would struggle with his pilot schedule. They didn’t really resolve anything, with Brooke simply saying “f*ck logistics” and deciding to simply live in the now. Sounds like a terrible plan, but OK!

Tonight’s The Bachelor retold via hilarious tweets:

Time for final dates! Jimmy tasked the last three women standing with organising the dates this time around. Holly pulled up on a huge canal boat, before they cooked a meal on the barbecue and had a horny swim.

Holly admitted she felt pressure to open up to Jimmy, but feared getting hurt. She eventually told Jimmy that she has fallen in love with him.

Jay took Jimmy kayaking, before they sat down to watch the Sydney Symphony Orchestra. Jimmy revealed that Jay’s friend mentioned a famous ex, so Jay clarified that she dated the New Zealand Bachelor. Jimmy appeared okay with it, but said privately that he worried she merely wants to “bag herself another Bachelor”… umm, as if Jay hunts Bachelors for sport.

It’s Brooke’s turn, and she surprised Jimmy with a trip to puppy training school. That evening by the pool, they discussed her brother’s claims that Brooke couldn’t cope with Jimmy’s hectic pilot schedule.

They agreed to live in the moment and Brooke admitted she’s falling for Jimmy. They then jumped in the pool to make out and MY EYES, MY EYES.

At the rose ceremony, Jay missed out on the top two. Catch you on Bachelor In Paradise… probably as the presenter, while Osher is on an overdue sabbatical.