‘The Bachelor’ Made History Tonight With Its First Ever Virtual Episode: Here’s What Went Down

The Bachelor Australia made history tonight, showcasing the first-ever ‘Love in Lockdown’ episode, where all single dates, group dates, cocktail parties, AND rose ceremonies went virtual due to the coronavirus pandemic shutting down production.

So, I’ll be honest, I expected to kind of hate it. Did I really want to be triggered back into days of Zoom chats and catchups that April and May forced us into? (Sorry to all my Victorian friends still currently suffering.) But I have to commend the Bachy team for delivering quite the episode. Love in Lockdown was probably more entertaining than the first two weeks combined and Roxi STILL managed to storm out of a group date. Incredible areas!

Let’s recap The Bachelor‘s Love In Lockdown episode.

1. Locky contemplated how Covid-19 fucked up his schoolboy dream of pashing numerous women at once.

Though, to be fair, that could also be a standard night out in Bali for him.

But what if the real virus was me?

2. We opened to the new world, where the women were forced to entertain themselves by baking, and doing whatever this is.

I mean, does Juliette look exactly like I will when I can be on the dancefloor at The Sheaf again? Absolutely!

TFW ‘Shimmer’ by Fuel comes on.

3. The girls were all delivered mystery boxes, containing new laptops and cameras for their new virtual romance reality.

And thankfully they were already synced up with all the best Real Housewives series to keep them entertained over the next few weeks.

4. Osher popped out with a special message, but Juliette doesn’t even know this man.

Osher let the girls know things were back in action, baby! Not only would all the dates continue on, but so too would cocktail parties and rose ceremonies.

People being dumped on the internet? Ahh just like the good old MSN days.

“We get it, you’re married.”

5. Locky swung on in to invite a lucky girl on a single date, saying the person brightened up his whole lockdown life.

I’m thinking the stunning lass with the glowing skin on the top right.

Just kidding! It was Izzy!

6. Izzy and Locky cooked up a Mexican feast together, and she threatened to stab him next time she saw him in the flesh if he didn’t at least try to add a tiny bit of spice to his burrito.

We know he hates chillis, but as it turns out Locky is also not a fan of coriander. Because he’s a straight man, I bet he states that somewhere in his Bumble bio as well as bagging out pineapple on pizza.

I’m starting to think he’s so white that he doesn’t even use the packet spice mix for his tacos.

7. The two sat down for their romantic dinner, and I’M SORRY, but does Locky not own plates?!

This is like Mark from MAFS and his two cups all over again. I wish I got $2 for every time I said “straight men are wild” because I’d at least be earning $6 a day, which is kind of like a standard media wage anyway now that I think about it.

Izzy is a true delight though and while Locky hasn’t given her an asthma attack yet from laughing, I daresay he’s close.

(What I need in my life is Izzy to pair up with the Channel 10 TL;DR guy who has blocked me on social media, and they can put together a video of them wheezing as each other. I’ll then make it my ringtone. He’ll love me then!)

8. Then, as all typical Mexican feasts tend to end, they got in the bath together and Locky tried to show us his Princess Sophia.

Oh, sorry, do your first dates not go like this too? Weird.

Things did get quite horny between the two, with Locky stating that when “we get back to the mansion, we can be physical, we can lock the doors.” Yeooooow, OK then! Don’t tell Roxi!

And somehow “Locky” (another name for “producer”) managed to get a rose under Izzy’s towel so she’s safe to live in lockdown for another week.

9. A group date was announced, the girls were sent onesies, and the question on everyone’s lips has been answered. YES, they did get YouFoodz while in lockdown!

Phew, I was starting to get worried.

10. The group date involved the girls being able to ask each other and Locky anonymous questions, because we all know this ends well.

Juliette let us know that she knows an ABUNDANCE of things about the girls that they won’t want to talk about, some real “saucy” stuff apparently. So of course, now that Areeba has gone, Juliette knows she needs to step up her game.

She was going to sneak those questions in, and she’s got a victory dance to prove it.

We learn Kaitlyn has been gardening in lockdown (which she demonstrates by pulling out a wheelbarrow with my dead body in it), Bella’s asked if she’s there to gain Instagram followers which she denies, and Juliette is asked if she has been honest about the fact she’s been celibate for 12 years which was new information to a lot of people, including Locky. But alas, things were still about to get messier…

Roxi was then asked about her secret boyfriend, and she is immediately not happy, Jan, not happy at all.

She even demanded to the girls on the call to tell her WHO her secret boyfriend is, which is what I sometimes yell at my friends when I’m drunk and they’re like “Tahls, we never said you had a secret boyfriend, you just keep hugging that deflated balloon with a smiley face on it and we just want you to throw it out.”

When it’s a day ending in Y

The group date immediately turned chaotic, as Roxi gathered up more momentum and Locky wondered WTF he’s gotten himself into. Roxi then did the virtual version of storming off – she left the group chat.

Oh yeah, and Kaitlyn got the group date rose in case you’re interested in that at all.

11. At the cocktail party, Juliette started pushing Roxi’s buttons asking why she left the chat.

Tbh, I could understand Roxi’s frustration here, especially as Juliette was part of the group date so she knows exactly what happened. Roxi and Juliette started arguing back and forth with Juliette refusing to drop the issue, while Roxi tried to contain her legs so they wouldn’t run off and make her torso follow.

Eventually, one by one, the girls started to leave the group chat.

tag yourself

And Roxi realised she could, in fact, shut Juliette down once and for all. Literally. We love an empowering moment!

12. Locky pulled Roxi aside to make sure she was OK, and seemed to insinuate that he doesn’t really care if she has a secret boyfriend.

I think he meant he didn’t care that the question was brought up, but I like to retell what happened in my own way, OK?

Also if you believe the rumours, Locky had some secret girlfriends happening in lockdown too, so maybe one day they can all be one big, happy, poly family.

13. The rose ceremony was hilariously awkward. All the girls had a rose next to them, except one girl would NOT be allowed to pick her rose up.

Juliette, unaware of what it means to have a camera on you at all times, did… this whole thing… when Roxi was given her rose.

And we said goodbye to Bel, which was Locky’s way of saying “I think the fuck not you trickass bitch” to yesterday’s psychic.

I have to say, I got a cramp laughing when Osher entered back on screen and told Bel to “take the time to say your goodbyes” and she just had to stand there and wave before shutting the video down. This is truly TV gold. I’m so proud of them.

Next week: an intruder? In this climate?!