17 Things That Happened During The ‘Bachelorette’ Finale Because It Finally Finished!

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Welcome to the end, you guys! It’s been a bloody marathon, but tonight we all experienced triumph and victory. Our tired, sweaty bodies crossed the finish line of The Bachelorette, and hopefully we never have to hear the words “crikey” or “we’re country girls” again.

Now if you’ve been watching this show glassy-eyed since July 15, we all know the finale has a certain type of formula. Each lady got a final date with each of her top two, before taking one out to the back of the track and putting him down. In Melbourne, they call that “euthanasia”.

Becky and Elly Miles were both faced with the tough decision tonight whether to follow their heads or their hearts when picking their final winner. I was also faced with the tough decision whether to follow my head or my heart: my heart said turn the show off and go to bed, my head said “apparently this is your job.”

So here we are. Like Becky, I went with my head. Let’s do this together, one last time.

Let’s recap The Bachelorette finale once and for all:

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1. I miss Adam.

kyle crying bachelorette recap

In One Direction’s hit song ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ they sing the line, “But when you smile at the ground, it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know, oh, oh, you don’t know you’re beautiful.’ What many people don’t realise is that line was written about Adam.

2. Elly and Joe went on a riverboat for their final date, followed by some paddleboarding.

Sing with me, one last time! “Surf dog Bachelooooor.” Ahh, those were the days.

elly frazer surf dog bachelor

3. I wonder what Adam is doing right now?

kyle richards crying

4. Joe believes that fate brought him and Elly back together, and told Elly he’s falling in love with her.

Joe doesn’t want to leave this experience with any regrets, and I don’t want to leave this recap by accidentally writing “Hoe” every time I write “Joe” because my tiny fingers are trying to work too fast to get this done by an acceptable hour.

Joe can’t picture his future without Elly in it, and goes as far as to say he can see them getting married and having kids. “RUN!” I screamed at my TV, before I realised a lot of normal people actually like hearing this from the person they’re dating.

joe the bachelorette finale

He tells Elly that he’s falling in love with her and it’s very sweet. She later gets emotional, telling the camera she needs to “figure out” if she can fall in love with Joey. Oh boy. This poor, sweet man is about to get his heart shattered.

5. Should I go collect some rocks and send a pic to Adam via Insta DM?

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6. Becky and Pete had their final date. They jump out of plane to avoid talking about their feelings.

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I’m sure they had conversations of some sort during this part but I got distracted doing every household chore I’ve put off previously due to boredom. Suddenly they seemed to be wildly interesting.

7. Pete clammed up, and it left Becky confused and upset.

She asked Pete if he’s ACTUALLY ready for a relationship and he replied unconvincingly, “yeah, why not?”

PETE! “Yeah, why not?” is what you say when your significant other goes “Should we order Thai for dinner?”. “Yeah, why not?” is what you say when your coworker asks you to go for a drink after work. It’s NOT what you say when the woman you’re fighting for asks if you’re ready to settle down again.

becky bachelorette finale

“I think it’s worth having a go,” he clarified. Beautiful, poetic words there. I hope they use them in their wedding vows.

8. Will Adam teach me how to surf? I don’t want to learn. But I’d learn for Adam.

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9. Elly had to remind Frazer one last time that she’s from the country, so they get in a tractor and drive around.

elly frazer bachelorette finale

I guess all the budget was used for Locky and Irena’s monster car for their finale.

Elly and Frazer shared a sneaky kiss as she drives, and unfortunately they ran over all the Alpacas who used to live in the Bachy mansion. May they rest in peace.

10. They then get into a bath because this show is obsessed with bathing people. Elly gets choked up talking about her connection with Frazer.

They talked about the fact he’s from Brissie and she’s from Newcastle and honestly, you’d think they were from different countries based on how hard they’ve made this out to be. I know it’s difficult with state borders and whatnot, but are you really telling me those two cities are THAT different from each other?

Elly said she’d be open to moving and becoming a Queenslander but she needed reassurance from Frazer that that’s what he also wants. Do you know what I want? NSW to win State of Origin. But we can’t all get what we want, can we?

“I never thought coming into this you could make a connection like this,” Frazer told Elly. Why do they say things like that every season? Why is everyone so taken aback each time they come on a dating show and fall for the person they’re dating? Mind-boggling.

Elly got emotional and choked up talking about Frazer again. “I could definitely see myself falling in love with him,” she cried. I wonder if she’s crying because he’s still giving off the energy of her dad.

11. I get choked up every time I think of Adam’s sad face when Elly got rid of him.

GIF leave me alone kyle richards rhobh - animated GIF on GIFER - by Purefist

12. Adrian and Becky got all hot and steamy on their final date.

They rubbed mud all over each other, which is apparently sexy and hot. Yet, when I suggested it on a first date as we strolled around Centennial Park, my date said he “had a family emergency” and “had to go.”

Anyway, this family-friendly show got a bit raunchy there for a second. Yeeeeooow*.

adrian becky the bachelorette finale

*I also don’t know why I just made the noise of a horny, 15-year-old boy.

13. Tbh the biggest plot twist of this whole season is that I am also into Adrian now.

I can’t help the way I feel.

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Adrian told Becky he was falling in love with her, and he’s not scared to fall in love. I never thought Adrian would give a better speech about love than Pete, but I guess you can’t predict everything on this show after all.

14. Final decision time! Elly and Becky got together to cry about the situation they’ve landed themselves in.

Becky said she thinks Elly is in love with her final choice, even if Elly won’t verbalise it herself. I mean we have seen Elly cry a LOT over her connection with Frazer, and if that ain’t love… wait, is love meant to make you cry so much? Asking for a friend.

becky bachelorette finale

Becky says she’s at the point where she doesn’t know what to do. “I think with Adrian and I there’s more chemistry and my heart is saying to go for that and my head is saying Pete is the safer… or the future bet,” she explained.

Hmmm, we’ve all seen how well it goes when the Bachys choose with their heads over their hearts. Spoiler: it doesn’t last.

15. Becky decided to give her heart to “Yeah, why not?” Pete, shooting Adrian straight through the heart.

No matter who it is, I HATE the hopeful look the runner-up always gives the Bachy when they first arrive, it always makes me feel an emotion. “You have such an amazing energy,” Becky said to Adrian. “I think I’d be very lucky to have a future with you.” After giving him that bit of hope, she then backflipped and told him that her gut was telling her to go with Pete.

“To have met you, I’ve enjoyed every moment of this experience with you,” Adrian said. “I truly just want what’s best for you, give my best to your sister as well.”

It was probably the nicest breakup I’ve ever been through.

Becky then was excited to tell Pete he was a “done deal”. She told him he was husband material, and he was probably like “lol yeah, I know” considering he’s still technically married, but whatever. “You are worth taking that risk,” Becky told Pete. “I want to be the person who makes you happy.” “Yeah, why not?” he replied.

OK fine, he didn’t say that. Not that he really elaborated a whole lot more.

“I’m so excited to let myself go, and feel those emotions much more,” Pete said, with as much enthusiasm as me ordering a salad for lunch.

16. Meanwhile, over in Elly’s world, she decided she didn’t want Joe to stand there at the end being so hopeful, so she decided to go dump him in the hotel room. Don’t worry, the cameras were still there.

“I feel sick, but I feel like it’s the kinder thing to do then put someone through the alternative,” Elly said. I mean maybe not dragging him to the top two would’ve been the kinder thing to do, but who am I to judge. Just kidding, I live to judge this show.

It seemed pretty obvious Joe knew straight away what was happening to him, but he held Elly’s hand and patiently let her finish her spiel. Elly said it made her feel so happy hearing Joe say that he was falling in love with her, but she didn’t know if she felt the way she was supposed to feel hearing him say that. “Don’t be sorry, it’s OK,” Joe said comforting a distressed Elly.

Joe took it like an absolute champ, and I’m not hysterically crying over it, except I am and I can’t actually see what I’m writing anymore.

Anyway, Elly picked Frazer. Yay, we love love, etc. I think the Bachelorette Twitter account was the only person feeling anything at this stage.

17. In other news, Adam has blocked me on Instagram.

kyle crying rhobh

Just kidding, I didn’t really send him all those crazy DMs.. yet.

Anyway, that’s this year done and dusted, fam! We’ve survived!

If you need me, I’m going to go watch Law & Order: SVU.

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