12 Things That Happened On Tonight’s Plot-Twist Episode Of ‘The Bachelorette’

Welcome to the final week of The Bachelorette! Angie’s quest for love is nearly over and, no, Ciarran still hasn’t bounced through the doors as a last-minute intruder.

It’s also a special week for us here at Punkee because it’s the LAST week of reality TV for the year that was.

To think we started this year with Cyrell and Martha throwing wine at each other on MAFS and have ended it with me throwing wine down my throat. Soon the three of us here at Punkee will be locked back into the underground dungeon where we’re told to hibernate and share food rations, only to resurface in 2020 for another year of fun.

Anyway, enough about my life.

Angie cut one guy’s heart out tonight and it ended up being a bit of a bloody shock, I tell ya. The last time I was this shocked was when I learned Jackson’s family owned a pie business last week. I just honestly couldn’t believe it was never mentioned earlier.

Let’s get down to chatting about the second-last episode of The Bachelorette:

1. Tonight’s episode was sponsored by everyone’s favourite pharmacy, Chemist Warehouse.

2. Timm was the first single date, and he and Angie created art together, because there’s nothing this show loves more than some arts and crafts.

It’s really starting to make me think that I must start all future relationships at Cork & Canvas. Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong this whole time.

Anyway, the two created a mural of their favourite memory together…

Just kidding, they actually painted ginormous sunflowers, but honestly I think a mural tribute to Wazza’s back tattoo would’ve been just as magical.

3. Timm put all his feelings on the line.

After seeing Angie with his family, Timm knew that she was the one for him. He even said it took his crush to a more serious nature, and that when he looks at Angie he doesn’t think of her as his girlfriend for a year or so, he feels “inspired” because she has the traits he wants his daughter to have.

IDK man. It was a lot.

“It just feels right and I just know that’s how I feel,” Timm said, which is also the line I used when I choose four extra things to add into my Cold Rock concoction. YES, I still go to Cold Rock. YES, I know “Messina” and “fancy gelato” exists, but I don’t remember them giving you the option of including Tim Tam, cookie dough, Kit Kat, and Maltesers in your ice cream mix.

Angie asked Timm how serious he is deep down, because she sees him as a gamble still. Timm told her she should roll the dice and take the risk. It’s honestly the most romantic thing a guy has ever said to me.

4. On the second date, Angie showed Ryan a depiction of my previous relationship: a sinking ship.

I’m not sure why Angie keeps going on various modes of transport that make her motion sick but I am starting to think of it as a metaphor for relationships. You risk it all for the experience and just end up sick to your stomach in the end.

5. They then went to go get a tasty lunch.

AHHH just kidding, they went whale watching but didn’t spot any whales. Instead they saw some dolphins, which was cute I guess, but we still had to put up with a minute of them trying to make whale calls first, in between snuggling.

6. Intermission: dating is fun!

Angie and Ryan’s date ended with the romantic time on the sex couch, and she told Ryan that him being there and not choosing him would be like “slapping the universe in the face.” He responds by telling her that he’s falling in love with her and that he “craves her in every aspect of his life” which is what I’ve been whispering to the bottle of fancy champagne* waiting in my fridge for when reality TV season finally ends for the year.

But then Angie also expressed doubts in her voxxy that Ryan was not “cray” enough for her. Don’t ask me where that leaves Carlin then, lmao.

*Just kidding, the only thing I have in my fridge right now is one limp carrot and half a bottle of coconut water to toast the end of this shitshow. If you’re looking to send real champagne my way, slide into my DMs or alternatively just pour it straight down my throat.

7. Angie and Carlin’s last date consisted of them doing a stare-off.

Uhh hello guys? Hi? Sorry to interrupt, it’s just that you haven’t really done anything and I’m a little confused because I feel like I am watching two parents try to figure out if they’re gonna stay together for the kids, not two people who are meant to be falling in love. Hello? Angie? Carlin? Are you still there? Can you look at me… please?

8. Like, literally, they had no activity, they just stared at each other and talked.

Carlin tells Angie that while it hasn’t been smooth sailing, it’s been worth it for him. Angie tells Carlin to stop making travel metaphors because it’s making her motion sick. Probably.

Carlin apologised to Angie about the whole acting thing and said he hadn’t done a commercial since 2016. He then dropped the huge shock that he’s not even THAT good at acting! Lol! It’s like how I’ve been pursuing a career in becoming an Instagram influencer then realised I don’t have abs and I’m not hot! Oopsie!

Carlin wraps it all up by telling Angie he’s falling in love with her, and she calls him “heaven-sent” and they definitely had the STEAMIEST makeout session of the episode so far. Like, it was nothing on Abbie and horny Dr Matt, but it was something.

9. The rose ceremony finally came and after Angie rewarded Carlin the first rose for winning their staring competition, she had a full meltdown.

After saying she can see a life with all three of them, she realised she actually has to pick only one which sucks. Hugely relatable situation. It’s so hard when you find three decent enough guys and– wait, THREE decent guys? Imagine!

10. The boys were left shook as Angie walked out to collect herself again.

Angie basically cried in a bush saying she didn’t know who to pick, and she thought she knew but she didn’t know how to have that goodbye conversation with the other guy. This is interesting to me because it seems to imply that Carlin is an absolute safe bet despite everything else.

She then concludes that she has to trust her own gut, which leads us to…

11. Angie gave the last rose to Timm. Yep! PLOT FUCKIN’ TWIST OF THE SEASON.

Aussie dog guy got absolutely DOGGED.

Bloody hell. It’s almost like sliding into someone’s DMs for a solid 12 months then chasing them onto reality TV wasn’t a good move in the end. See you on Tinder, Ryan.

12. I don’t have any memes here, because she was very emotional saying goodbye to Ryan which made me emotional even though I was convinced he was a robot.

Angie told Ryan he deserved someone to know straight away and she just didn’t know. I guess this shouldn’t be a shock to him given they have known each other a whole DAMN year.

Ryan was quite beautiful about it all and wished Angie all the happiness in the world while saying in the limo he still feels like she’s his “dream girl.” Meanwhile, back in the mansion Angie was still in hysterics and asking a producer “Why did I do that? That was the wrong decision.”

YIKES.

Tomorrow night: Angie! Picks! Someone!

I think anyway!