13 Things That Happened In Tonight’s Episode of “Straight Men Are Very Odd”

Welcome back to another week of The Bachelorette and another week of Angie proving to me she is probably the best Bachelorette we’ve ever seen.

From vomiting on her date to schooling a guy on giving her ultimatums, Angie continues to deliver the goods.

Tonight’s episode had it all: a pash, dogs, an intruder, some petty cocktail party fights and the elimination of dearest Kmart Zac and some… other guy. But more on that later.

Here’s everything that happened on Episode 3 of The Bachelorette:

1. Jackson, king of the pies, received the second solo date.

Angie’s biggest barrier with Jackson is the fact he’s 25 and she’s a bit of an “ageist” when it comes to dating. She’s organised a romantic picnic date for Jackson, minus the dirty street pies, and we get the first chopper of the season!

“Is there any bigger word than exciting, because if there is, I’m definitely that!” Jackson said.

Jackson, I suggest trying out “electrifying”, “exhilarating” or even “spine-tingling” next time if you want to amp things up.

2. As it turned out, Angie forgot she actually gets motion sickness so she spent half of her date with Jackson trying not to vomit.

I also throw up on dates but only because the thought of it makes me feel ill.

What we do have to note here is Jackson kindly offered that Angie could “spew in his top pocket” if she needed to in the helicopter. Who said chivalry was dead?!

With a quick day time, night time transition, Angie recovered from her motion sickness woes and she and Jackson took their picnic basket to a romantic setup that was already filled with… food and drinks.

So I am not entirely sure what was in the picnic basket, but at this stage I’d say maybe Jamie planted a camera in there to keep an eye on things.

3. Jackson got the second kiss of the season and Angie gave us her best Punkee kissing impersonation.

Angie, we have a job waiting for you if you need it at the end of this journey.

4. Early intermission: Therapy with Tom.

Who is Tom? We have no idea really!

Jamie once again reminded us that he wanted to go in and break up Angie and Jackson’s photo shoot moment when they were dressed as penguins.

Honestly, sometimes as I write sentences about this show like the above, I get very distracted thinking about my life trajectory and the fact that as I near my thirties, I spent my whole life writing about other people’s love lives while ignoring my own, and maybe I could dress up as a penguin with someone one day? But I can’t! Because I’ve chained myself to this show so I will never find my own penguin! But that’s fine because I don’t even really WANT a penguin it’s just tha-

Sorry. Let’s move on.

Back to Tom. As Jamie went on about the photo shoot, Tom, hands steepled, eyes thoughtful, gently asked Jamie if that photo shoot moment made him feel jealous. We love therapist Tom!

5. Angie’s group date involved dogs, and no, not of the dog c**t variety. The references to dogs are a lot more wholesome this season!

As the dog walker rocked up with a variety of cute pups in little sweaters, Angie was immediately smitten… with the dogs that is… so it took her a moment to realise she actually KNEW the guy.

Yep! Our mystery intruder was finally revealed!

OK just kidding. As it turns out, Ryan and Angie had a couple of cheeky Insta DM slides back in the day and he’s rocked up as an intruder to prove that he’s serious about taking Angie on a date that they never got to go on back in the day.

If it was me I’d be calling the police instead of seeing it as a grand, romantic gesture, but that’s probably why I’m single.

It’s also worth mentioning some guy called Mitch who is allegedly in this show, decided to ghost the group date after rolling his ankle in the mansion. Very convenient excuse Mitch! I would know as I have also faked injuries to avoid leaving the house.

6. The boys were split into teams to take their dog through the course, with one person from the winning team to win alone time with Angie.

As it turns out, most of them weren’t very good dog trainers.

Sidebar: that dog is me faking an injury when my PT tries to make me do any form of actual cardio.

Turns out Aussie Dog Guy Ryan also wasn’t great at taking the dogs through the course, which made Timm extremely happy. “Ryan comes in like he’s Doctor DoLittle but as soon as he takes care of the dog he’s doctor Do-NUTHIN’,” Timm told us.

He was very proud of that one, you can tell.

7. Ciarran won the alone time with Angie, with Angie wanting to know if there was a deeper side to Ciarran.

He promptly told her he used to be a dancer in a gay bar and that he had a nose job last year because he was self-conscious of his side on profile. Ciarran, if you’re reading this, send me the deets of your surgeon, please. 🙂

Angie gave Ciarran a rose and he didn’t kiss her because he wanted to show her he’s not a mad player and can have boundaries.

“Something really weird is happening to me,” I texted my doctor. “I’ve got weird symptoms of a disease. I laugh when Ciarran laughs. I look forward to seeing him on the screen. I think his accent is cute. I think.. I have.. a crush… on… the sexual Willy Wonka.”

“Sorry this number has been disconnected,” my doctor replied.

8. The other dudes in the house meet Ryan and Jamie is not stoked he has another guy to compete with.

He says it’s “killing him” inside that Angie already has a connection with Ryan.

Meanwhile, Mitch, that guy who is apparently in the competition and who ghosted Angie’s group date has decided he’s going to wait for her to approach him at the cocktail party. What a good plan!

9. My two boyfriends debuted their new look at the cocktail party, but it didn’t take long for the drama to kick off.

Timm brought the guys together to say they weren’t going to fight tonight over Angie’s time, and told everyone that tonight it was Angie’s choice – she was in charge of who she picked to chat with and no guys were to approach her/intercept/or cut each other’s chats.

As the boys toasted to Timm’s plan, Jamie told us that it’s causing him great “mental stress” and that he desperately wants time with Angie because he doesn’t feel safe.

Timm tried to warn Jamie that if he betrayed the code of the bros, the guys would kick off and Angie would sense the drama and Jamie would all of a sudden be “another Wazza or another Jess”.

And to think everyone thinks the girls are dramatic on The Bachelor!

10. Jamie did it. He dismissed the bro-code and stole Angie away for a chat.

He told Angie that no matter what happens, he’ll always have her back and begged her to “please choose a guy who is here for you and here for genuine reasons.”

11. The boys, the bros are extremely pissed off at Jamie for breaking the code.

Haydn, high off his screentime from last week’s episode, straight-up let Jamie know he wasn’t impressed with him. In turn, Jamie calls him a smug bastard.

“If you thought living here for the last two weeks was hard, you just put everyone offside,” Haydn told Jamie.

These boys! Are! So! Petty! What are they going to do to Jamie now? Draw a dick on his face while he’s asleep? Put salt in his coffee instead of sugar? Dack him when he’s walking around the mansion? Who knows!

12. This random dude who is apparently Mitch decided to give Angie an ultimatum even after he ghosted their date.

Straight men are fucking wild.

13. So in non-surprising news, Mitch got kicked out…. but so did Kmart Zac!!

We barely knew him outside of the fact he literally has no resemblance to Zac Efron. Truly devastating!

Tomorrow night: Queen Yvie appears and Ciarran gets nude and oh man, I love this season so much.