the bachelorette recap episode 5 tweets

Tonight’s ‘Bachelorette’ Retold Via Hilarious Tweets

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Delete your dating apps, block your exes, resist posting your third thirst trap of the day to get your crush’s attention — all the romance you need right now is on The Bachelorette.

In tonight’s episode, Brooke took intruder Luca on a first date flying fighter jets, as you do — though it should be said that two people flying in separate planes isn’t exactly a date. Brooke was terrified at first, but she eventually calmed down and enjoyed the experience with Luca by her side… in spirit, not literally. Again, he was in a totally different jet.

Luca also came along on the group date, much to the annoyance of some of the original contestants — especially Carissa who missed out. The date pitted the four new contestants against the older ones, as they had to answer questions to test them on what they’d learnt about Brooke so far. Gentle king Kurt was ignored by his team of OGs, despite knowing all the right answers. Thankfully, he was rewarded with some extra time with Brooke, which turned out to be a battle between Kurt waffling on nonsense, while Brooke tried to shut him up by pashing on.

It’s a date dynamic most straight women know a little too well.

At the cocktail party, Carissa decided to leave the mansion, explaining to Brooke that she didn’t think she could fall in love in such a high stress environment like The Bachelorette. Fair enough! Brooke was left rattled, choosing to call off the night’s events to recover.

It was all rather dramatic, so luckily we have some hilarious tweets to ease the tension.

Tonight’s The Bachelorette retold in funny tweets:

Brooke took Luca on a Top Gun-themed date, as the pair went flying in separate fighter jets. Brooke was super nervous but they ended up having fun and vibing.

After the action, Brooke and Luca shared a bottle of wine and told each other they’re cool. Luca got a rose and smooch.

Group date time! As Carissa read out the names of who was invited, she got annoyed that Luca was on the list. The date was an obstacle course, which included questions to test who knows Brooke the best. The newbies competed against the OGs.

Kurt was the only one who knew the correct answers, but the OGs ignored his input. They still won and Kurt got chosen for extra time with Brooke. King shit! He showered her with compliments (as he should) and in return got a kiss and a rose.

Carissa was an anxious mess at the cocktail party. She pulled Brooke aside to reveal she’s not able to fall in love in the mansion environment. Brooke was emotional about her unexpected departure and decided to cancel the rose ceremony.