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‘The Bachelorette’ Semi-Final Recapped In Funny Tweets
The end is nigh, my friends. OK, that sounded much more depressing than I intended, but for reals this season’s The Bachelorette conclusion is a mere episode away.
Brooke will be choosing her forever love between frontrunner Darvid and Honey Badger season returnee Jamie-Lee, after Holly removed herself from the narrative on tonight’s emotional semi-final. Many assumed that it would be Darvid and Holly facing off in the finale, but on tonight’s episode Holly and Brooke couldn’t move past their differences. Holly wasn’t willing to move to Brooke’s hometown of Western Australia, and she also wasn’t open to having a large family in the future, so the women decided to say goodbye at the end of their final date, avoiding the rose ceremony.
But I’m getting ahead of myself! Before the Brooke/Holly shitshow, we saw last dates which were planned by Darvid and Jamie-Lee, which both featured a lot of outdoorsy and action-packed vibes. Darvid took Brooke kayaking and then quad-biking, while Jamie-Lee attempted “glamping” that seemed an awful lot like camping.
How about a casual cruise down to your local Kmart before you both enthusiastically browse through the homewares section?? Now THAT is an act of true love. Just a thoughtful suggestion!
Tonight’s The Bachelorette semi-final recapped in some bloody funny tweets:
This week it’s up to the final three to plan dates for Brooke, and Darvid is up first. He rocks up on a kayak to pick up Brooke and they cruise down the river before jumping on some quad bikes. Vroom vroom! (Idk??)
I remember this Solo commercial #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/b6kl7uR0eF
— The Bitchelorette (@BitcheloretteAU) November 24, 2021
can’t wait for damp girl summer #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/gcpy8zsCLD
— the bachelor (taylor’s version) (@bachiebitching) November 24, 2021
Him: “I’m emotionally unavailable and deathly afraid of commitment”
Me: #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/WAG4z4NgVe
— PUNKEE (@itspunkee) November 24, 2021
Me when my package had been as the distribution centre for more than three days a couple of suburbs over. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/sG8s8r6LAZ
— Jack ✨ (@JackParwata) November 24, 2021
That night, they soak in a big barrel and what did we all say about baths on this show?! Brooke and Darvid clash over where they would live if they end up together beyond The Bachelorette.
THOSE ARE SOME LONG HETEROSEXUAL SHORTS #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/d2uPmzPH5O
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) November 24, 2021
i love how absolutely traumatised the tl is from the chocolate bath that we all collectively cringe whenever we see a bathtub on here #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/nvo4uKsewA
— alysha (@intosneedy) November 24, 2021
Have Darvid and Brooke shrunk since last episode??? They barely fit in the barrel now??? #BacheloretteAU #AntmanAndTheWaspQUANTUMANIA pic.twitter.com/7ABjbEtNr7
— Bachelor of Hearts Podcast ? (@BOHpod) November 24, 2021
Brooke: I really wanna stay in Melbourne…
Darvid: #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/n8hVCXvMyb— Tony Baloney (@CampCounsellor) November 24, 2021
i just know jamie-lee would pack her bags and go to melbourne so quick plsss #bacheloretteau
— ؘ (@mirr0red_heart) November 24, 2021
It’s Jamie-Lee’s turn! They go glamping together and have to set up a tent, which doesn’t feel very glam tbh! Jamie-Lee and Brooke then share their non-negotiables in a relationship.
jamie reaching over to hold brooke's hand while she drives #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/s0EcelesiU
— ؘ (@mirr0red_heart) November 24, 2021
Jamie Lee can run me over with that car and I’d thank her #BacheloretteAU
— ? | Jamie Lee’s wifey (@bbygorrl) November 24, 2021
Hiking in those shoes?
Jamie-Lee is testing her luck with blisters #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/oFCQWCjpcg— Jack ✨ (@JackParwata) November 24, 2021
Jamie-Lee should’ve gotten an easier tent.#BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/JFj1vjx0HL
— Just Sue. (@SueKennedy19) November 24, 2021
Jamie-Lee tells Brooke that she has fallen in love with her.
OK CAN BROOKE AND JAMIE LEE JUST FALL IN LOVE, HAVE KIDS AND BECOME COOL, HOT MUMS NOW?!?? #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/kLvqMoe4Hw
— Jessica (@jessimariemule) November 24, 2021
The “i love you” after 2 dates #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/oLrlCQ1UEp
— Lodz ? (@sumwheresmiling) November 24, 2021
On my way to pick up Jamie-Lee before she gets her heart broken #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/fKPCpS993y
— Snacks & Naps (Taylor's version) ? (@ValerieAerts) November 24, 2021
I’M GONNA UGLY CRY SO HARD RIGHT NOW UGH I WANT THEM TO BE TOGETHER SO BAD #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/iKfwUlhAuH
— alysha (@intosneedy) November 24, 2021
It’s Holly’s time to shine, and she brings Brooke to a dance studio. They watch a ballet performance before Brooke addresses why she got so upset at hometowns about Holly not wanting kids. Holly clarifies that she would consider having one kid, but it’s not a huge priority for her.
me: knows holly is most likely leaving tonight
also me: is still going to be shocked and heartbroken when she leaves #BacheloretteAU— mj ❤️? (@lgbtleighton) November 24, 2021
yes what you guys need to do is communicate in a more abstract way #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/Mh4UyHaJKv
— the bachelor (taylor’s version) (@bachiebitching) November 24, 2021
I can literally think of nothing worse than being forced to sit through ballet while knowing I'm going to have to have a yelling level argument the moment it's over #BacheloretteAU
— Matilda Boseley (@MatildaBoseley) November 24, 2021
the transition from jamie-lee and brooke being soft gf energy to holly and brooke about to fight #bacheloretteau pic.twitter.com/MHYZL8E8WV
— ؘ (@mirr0red_heart) November 24, 2021
now how are they gonna let us see a soft date and then go to pain #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/r7Ei8IfQO0
— z? (@sabrinasfool_) November 24, 2021
Things get even more tense when the subject of moving to Brooke’s home state of WA comes up, which Holly isn’t willing to consider. Holly then drops a bombshell: she doesn’t see their relationship lasting beyond a few years.
i also don't want to live in WA to raise a family and I also don't want three kids, holly is a relatable queen #bacheloretteau
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) November 24, 2021
Brooke talking about moving to WA like it’s even an option #TheBacheloretteAU #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/mqkBt539Wh
— Red – Taylor’s Aversion ? (@pjk27779) November 24, 2021
“I need you to compromise and meet me in the middle”
“So… Adelaide?”#BacheloretteAU— RachaelTad ? (@rachaeltadd) November 24, 2021
Oof this convo #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/jFmxovv2aC
— amber (@queenwitchiepoo) November 24, 2021
What the hell is going on?!? This all sounds so grim #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/TJv6nk5WCm
— PUNKEE (@itspunkee) November 24, 2021
Brooke is rattled and storms off. Holly cries on her shoulder and they ultimately decide to end their relationship.
holy shit this is the most intense and raw moment i’ve ever seen on this show and i am not okay #BacheloretteAU
— alysha (@intosneedy) November 24, 2021
HOLLY CRYING IN BROOKES ARMS NO ONE TOUCH ME IM SENSITIVE #BacheloretteAU
— char | jamie lee protector (@lxvem1lfs) November 24, 2021
THAT WAS THE END!? NO. #BacheloretteAU pic.twitter.com/ZgebYsbefN
— Simone (@Sim_oneL) November 24, 2021