The Most Toxic Friendships On TV That Don’t Include Blair and Serena

Whether we like it or not, we are constantly comparing our lives to those on our screens. ‘Am I as effortlessly gorgeous as Serena van der Woodsen?’ ‘Am I as bad-ass as Eleven?’ ‘Does my best friend support me as much as Patsy supports Eddie in Ab Fab?’

Besides feel-good TV – including our totally binge-worthy Bachy nights – there are also many toxic people that take over our screens. There are some shocking friendships in our all-time favourite TV shows that make us appreciate (or hate) our own relationships. Some of these are obvious, and others are deeply under the radar.

We have compiled the best frenemies TV has to offer. 

Rachel and Monica, Friends 

Rachel is the classic former bitch from high school (with a shnauz for days), whereas Monica was the girl we’d exchange sour snakes with in homeroom. Their unlikely friendship does prove to have moments of breaking the hierarchy of popularity, but even in their late twenties their past doesn’t seem to fade away.

It’s almost always Rachel stealing Monica’s thunder or being inconsiderate towards her feelings. One of the biggest red flags was when Rachel went out on a date with the guy Monica was very clearly keen on. Was girl code out of fashion in the ’90s?

Big and Carrie, Sex and the City 

Hello, they’re exes. Carrie and Big somewhere in series one had their first of many breakups and decided to put a bandaid on the failed relationship and call each other pal 1 and pal 2 somewhere in series two or three. Were they playing with fire? Yes. Their relationship was always way too problematic, so the two trying to be friends in the breakup periods was a major risk.

Let’s just say, if they were a Ben and Jerry’s flavour, they’d be Half Baked. Some optimistic yet hopeless romantics would say it was the underlying love that couldn’t let them part. The cynical Miranda’s of the world would say they were purely being dumb. 

Sam and Lisa, Friends From College

Sam and Lisa from Friends from College (*cough* super loose meaning on the word ‘friends’ there) are two women who are literally old mates from college. Lisa is married to her husband Ethan, and Ethan has been having an affair with Sam for something like two decades. Sorry, but there’s a difference between a one-night-stand slip-up and a 20-year affair.

The whole of series one we feel awful for poor Lisa who doesn’t have a clue about something so horrible happening right behind her back – literally sometimes they were doing it two doors down the hall at the same dinner party. Utter disgrace. You can’t trust the Sams – or Ethans – in your life.

Ted and Barney, How I Met Your Mother

You’ve probably realised by now my style of TV viewing – rom coms with not too much substance so I don’t have to think too much after a long day at work. Anyone else with me? 

Anyway, let’s unpack Ted and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. Ted had his moments of playing bad cop, and Barney had (more) moments of being an absolute dick. What is with these people on TV and deceiving their best friends for a date? Not a fan. Ted was the sensitive and thoughtful one who would plan a date for a week so that it’s unique and unforgettable, and Barney would plan his revenge on someone for a week using a play book or some sort of technology from his sci-fi apartment. I don’t know, but you can see the difference in their general intentions.

Patty and Nonnie, Insatiable 

Does anyone like Insatiable? It’s caused a huge uproar on social media and has been deemed ‘very problematic’. Well, I’m one of the sinners who actually watch some episodes from time to time If I need a quick, guilty Netflix binge that again doesn’t involve much thinking. Whether you love it or hate it, a lot of people are caught up on the concerning premise of the show.

In short: Debbie Ryan plays Patty (in a fat suit) and then lost weight in a coma after she was punched by a homeless guy, and once she was skinny she signed up to participate in a beauty pageant and wanted revenge on everyone – and this includes murder. Ok, something doesn’t sound right.

Anyway, Patty receives a lot of attention from her peers for her sudden hotness and thinks she owns the world. She basically becomes a murderous and less likable version of Regina George. She’s a shitty friend to Nonnie throughout the show as she expects Nonnie to always drop everything she’s doing for her. Sadly, I think we’ve all been friends with a Patty; that ‘friend’ who doesn’t factor in your input or give you the time of day when it’s really their turn to listen to whatever shit is going down in your life.

If you still have a Patty in your life, get rid of them! And I don’t mean in Patty’s style of murder.