I Won’t Be Able To Sleep At Night Until Smiths Bring Back The Simpsons Hot Dog Twisties

If spending the better half of the last two years in lockdown has taught me anything, it’s that I would quite literally sell my kidney to bring back The Simpsons Hot Dog Twisties. I am embarrassed to admit how much of my big dumb brain is occupied by these chips that haven’t existed in more than a decade.

For context: I had a pretty severe The Simpsons phase. Like… The kind of “owned every DVD, board game, comic book and/or figurine” sort of obsession. Heck, I even had every PEZ dispenser Fox released. I was OBSESSED. But nothing, and I mean NOTHING lives in my brain rent-free more than these chips.

Literally, delecta-ma-ble.

The Simpsons Hot Dog Twisties were released in 2006 as part of a joint promotion between Smith’s Chips, Tazos and — of course — The Simpsons. They were sadly discontinued shortly after and have never returned to grocery store shelves since (no, the 2014 hot dog Twisties were *not* the same).

As a 23-year-old adult, there is a myriad of more important things I could be doing with my time, like buying a house, finding a partner, solving the impending threat of climate change, or destroying the patriarchy. But alas, I have decided to use this here platform to demand that Smiths bring back this beloved snack.

Sure, they looked like styrofoam packing peanuts and, in hindsight, that shade of artificial red dye probably isn’t fit for human consumption but these chips MEANT something to me. These chips were my family.

This is the only picture I could find of the actual chips, and I am well aware of the fact that it doesn’t do these glorious chips justice. But I just needed to feel something, okay?

The bread and the hotdog itself came separately in the bag, and it was up to you, my friend, to assemble them into teeny tiny hotdogs. These weren’t just Twisties, this was art.

I am no expert on how these branded food partnerships work, but The Simpsons is still alive and well after all these years and I’m sure Disney would be open to discussions, on account of how important this issue is.

It has been a really rough couple of years and I truly cannot stress just how much even one packet of these chips would change my life.

Smiths, if you’re reading this, please give me back my chips. And while you’re at it, bring back Tazos too.

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We’ve reached out to Smiths Chips for comment.