15 Things We’ve All Heard Gym Bros Say
Whether we admit it or not, we all know a gym bro.
If you’ve matched with one on Tinder, if you’re dating one, or even if you are one and don’t even know it, you know gym bros talk a laahta crap.
So, what a is a gym bro? A gym bro is someone who eats, sleeps and snorts gains. Their sole purpose and destiny in life is to get jacked or die trying. Lifting is their breathing and benching is their soul. If you aren’t getting swole then you’re pretty much…nothing.
Furthermore, the word ‘bro’ in ‘gym bros’, is derived from the German word bru, and refers to their ‘for the boiz’ mentality that they oh-so-radiate.
If you say you have no time for the gym, just remember, gains never sleep.
— What Gym Bros Say (@WhatGymBrosSay) October 20, 2015
Therefore, we’ve put together a list of things that gym bros say, that we’re sure you’ve heard of at some point in time.
1. “My torso fits a medium, but my arms fit an XL”
Gym bros love to flex their ego (and their biceps) whenever they go shopping. They’ll nag the sales assistant with so many stupid things, all for the sole purpose of trying to seem bigger than they are. We get it Darryn, you’re built like a bass guitar, but keep it to yourself.
2. “My quads are too big for skinny jeans”
They’re really not. Like TRUST me, they’re not. Those chicken legs could fit into a Pringles can, pipe down.
3. “Happy international chest day bro”
Celebrating the holiday today! What holiday you ask?
Why it’s International Chest Day! 🏋🏾🏋🏾
— J. Barnes ⚡️ (@Coach_JBarnes) November 25, 2019
Gym bros love to remind everyone that Monday is International Chest Day. Gym bros take that ‘ish so seriously that even the mere mention of working out your pecs on any other day would be the equivalent of Judas betraying Jesus.
4. “Don’t skip leg day bro”
I swear gym bros be preachin’ about not skipping leg day, even though they’ve got calves the size of my pinky toe. Like FFS guys, it’s not that deep.
5. “I had the whole gym to myself last night bro”
We’ve all seen a gym bro send a Snapchat pan of the gym with the caption “when you’ve got the whole gym to yourself.” Well Xavier, when you go to the gym at 2am, why the FK would you expect any other member of the human race to be there? RELAX, it’s not that special.
6. “Does XS look good bro?”
Yo, what’s with gym bros buying the tightest G-Star tees, even though they’re clearly about 18 sizes too small? Looking swol is one thing, but turning cotton into lycra is a whole new realm. The fabric can only handle so much.
7. “Hey bro, you using this?”
So I’m sitting on a machine at the gym and some dude comes up to me and says “are you using this?” AND POINTS TO THE MACHINE IM SITTING ON !!!! Dude are you serious
— Alexis Hitchcock (@AlexisH1tchcock) November 23, 2019
Gym Bro’s love to make themselves known at the gym, and this is the pickup line that they choose. Like, yes Justin, I am sitting on the pec-deck, my towel is next to me and I am mid-set. In what dimension am I NOT using this?!
8. “Keep at it bro”
man the weights section in the gym is so intimidating like how am i supposed to do anything when i’m scared of looking like an idiot
— al (@implixit) November 25, 2019
The most condescending thing a gym bro can say. I am lanky asf, and the number of times I have gotten myself into a conversation with some dude who weighs 50kgs more than me and he says “keep at it bro” or “I used to be your size” as if that’s MOTIVATIONAL?! Let me lift my 2kg dumbbells in peace!
9. “I don’t want to get too big aye”
Imagine getting so ripped and so jacked that you literally have to restrain yourself? Yep, when it comes to Gym Bros, apparently there is such thing as TOO swol. When clothes don’t fit, veins are intense, and your body composition is falling too far off your head shape, it’s time to stop.
10. “Crossfit is for b*tches”
Btw, someone throw me a cross fit workout, please. Want to witness firsthand what all you Sallys find so difficult.
— Brian (@thebigdon27) July 12, 2013
Once a gym bro takes Crossfit, he is no longer a gym bro than he is a gym b*tch. Why take a class with circuits and ‘ish, when you can just work out with your homie and continue to get swol?
11. “Let’s wear our muscle tees for back day bro”
Gym bros are a slut for a cheeky muscle tee, particularly on back day. Showing off the triceps, the biceps and the traps, is basic 101 on how to become a major gym bro.
12. “I’m bulking”
When a gym bro is eating non-stop.
13. “I’m cutting”
When a gym bro ate waay too much during his bulking.
14. “My hammies are faaarked bro”
You always know when a gym bro has just done leg day, because he will find any excuse to bring it up. Taking the stairs, climbing a hill or even just WALKING, is a enough to make a gym bro bring up the leg workout the night before.
15. “How many sets you have left?”
dude at the gym really came up to me at the squat rack & asked me “ how many sets do you do? “ i told him about 9-11 and this mf said “are you a body builder or something?” & i thought that was kind of dumb of him! so i looked at his legs and told him that’s why i do that many!
— litsince97’ (@aldairbats) November 25, 2019
None of your business. BYE.