Just Hear Me Out: Australia Deserves Double Coat Chewy Caramel Tim Tams

I’ve had it. Enough is enough. Australia needs, deserves, and craves the ultimate biscuit treat that we have been deprived of all these sad years. Yep, I am talking about Double Coat Chewy Caramel Tim Tams.

Every year, Arnott’s releases a range of limited-edition Tim Tam flavours and every year I wait expectantly for the biscuit brand to get their shit together and give the people what they want. It is the obvious choice. What are the two best Tim Tam flavours? A decent, kind and intelligent person would, of course, reply: Double Coat and Chewy Caramel. Correct! It’s a no brainer.

Imagine those two flavours combined?? IMAGINE.

However, year after year Arnott’s do not release the obvious variety that Australians are screaming out for. Instead, the company usually drop some bonkers flavour that absolutely no one asked for. Take this year, Arnott’s have just opened voting for another Tim Tam flavour, with two new varieties on offer.

When I read this news, I thought: TODAY IS THE DAY FOR JUSTICE TO BE SERVED!!

So what flavour options have Arnott’s offered in this vote? Dark Choc Banoffee or Caramelised Pineapple. Ummm, whoooo is asking for that?? Hard pass on both of those Tim Tams. Banana and pineapple-flavoured things are usually rubbish, with the only exception being Banana Paddle Pops and Pineapple Lumps. Two delicious childhood treats! What if you dipped your Pineapple Lump into your Paddle Pop? Oh my god, what a flavour combo!

OK, I’m getting off track. Clearly these flavours have already been perfected in other foods, so Tim Tams are not breaking any new ground. You know what would be groundbreaking? A Chewy Caramel Tim Tam lathered in a double coat of chocolate, an absolute decadent feast for all the senses.

I’m getting hot and bothered just thinking about it.

The world if Arnott’s finally dropped Double Coat Chewy Caramel Tim Tams:

We came so close last year when Arnott’s released the Double Choc Caramel Cream Tim Tams. Without reading the name properly and accidentally laser-focusing on the words “double” and “caramel”, I thought all my dreams had come true. But nope, this is another biscuit that just acts as a daily reminder that we came so close, but yet so far.

I’m forever on Arnott’s hook. Drop the Tim Tams, or set me free!!!

I beg of you, Arnott’s, please stop with the wacky varieties. We don’t need Watermelon Coffee Cream or Salty Liquorice Cupcake, what we need is Double Coat Chewy Caramel Tim Tams.

If anything will save 2021, this will.