This TikToker Performs Dramatic Readings Of Men’s Terrible Tinder Bios

Scrolling a dating app as a straight women is like entering a bizarre and nightmarish dimension, where men’s bios can range from hilariously bad, nonsensical, and even abusive.

We get it, fellas. Dating apps suck, but that doesn’t mean you can shout at your potential matches in your bio. I don’t know if I’ve been on dating apps too long, or I’ve been swiping for too many hours, but dating app bios seem to be getting weirder — and men are at their worst on Tinder.

There’s the softbois who misquote David Beckham’s biography passages as Ghandi proverbs. Or the gym junkies who think that listing their height and body fat percentage preferences is romantic. But maybe most baffling of all are the men who just ramble a train of thought that doesn’t go anywhere, other than making you wonder whether this whole ‘dating straight men’ thing might be a passing phase.

During a night of avoiding the existential dread of Tinder by going on the delightfully distracting TikTok instead (highly recommend it!), I came across @jasminehaslostit‘s videos and they’re simply amazing.

The TikToker has amassed a following of 179k followers, largely due to her dramatic readings of some of the more suss and problematic men’s Tinder bios she’s encountered — which are accompanied by heartfelt piano chords (that are actually from Twilight). While TikTok is filled with women mocking men’s dating bios, Jasmine has made it into an art form.

@jasminehaslostitthat’s m’girl #ActingChallenge #tinder #thatsmygirl ??♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

That’s my girl.

The bios that Jasmine reads are nothing that we — as straight, single women — haven’t seen countless times before. The weirder ones are when you’re reading a bio that seems to contain three different personalities, as the vibe drastically changes from paragraph to paragraph.

Strap in, as this next one is a wild ride.

@jasminehaslostithere’s one from the ol’ drafts ??##Boo ##tinder ##fyp♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

He truly sounds like a pretty nice guy!

Here’s another where the mood suddenly shifts without warning, acted impeccably by Jasmine…

@jasminehaslostit##greenscreen had to leave at least part of his dumbass snapchat name in there ? ##OnlineDating ##tinder♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

Then there are the bios that come with a plot-twist halfway that none of us could have seen coming.

@jasminehaslostitin all honesty, I too love to drive around and scheme. Thx to whoever emailed me this! ##tinder♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

It’s always nice to make fun of men who think that pizza opinions are a personality trait.

@jasminehaslostit##greenscreen my anthem? Weenie ride.♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

This last one is pure poetry. Is that final paragraph Maya Angelou?

@jasminehaslostit##greenscreen sexy charismatic poetic chef that is also a weed head♬ Bella’s Lullaby – Michele Garruti

These are only just some of my personal fave Tinder readings by Jasmine, but you can check them all out here.