I Talked To Guys On Tinder Using Classic Rom-Com Quotes & Now I Believe In Love
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Sunsets and candlelit restaurants and heart-shaped chocolates are all well and good, I reckon the funnest bit of Valentine’s day is the romantic movies. Watching Ryan Gosling smear ice-cream on Rachel McAdams’ face is literally every single breathing person’s idea of heaven.
That’s why the Sydney Symphony Orchestra is linking up with the maestro of Australian love and reality television, Osher Günsberg, for A Valentine’s to Remember. At this glorious, one-off event, you and your main squeeze (or squeezes, if you’re attending with your crew) will sit and gaze into each other’s eyes while people much more clever than us play your favourite songs from the movies with the kissing.
This whole thing got me thinking: would I rake in matches if I deployed the gorgeous, classic, cheese-filled lines uttered by my boys Ryan and Leo and Noah on Tinder? Would I (gasp) find someone to smear ice-cream over? Below, you can see how I fared.
When Harry Met Sally seems a good a place as any to start. Interesting response. I do have an annoying face, I’ll admit, but we’re on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster here. Maybe this is the beginning of our Notebook-esque parting scene. I’ll circle back later, when I’m alone and in possession of more than one lipstick.
I went big with a Definitely Maybe/Jerry Maguire/Brokeback Mountain/Dirty Dancing quadruple-whammy and got exactly the response a Definitely Maybe/Jerry Maguire/Brokeback Mountain/Dirty Dancing quadruple-whammy deserves.
I enjoy the simplicity of it very much. He might be the one. I can just picture us, sharing a meal at one of those revolving restaurants as the sun sets. I giggle, showing all of my expensive teeth. He gets down on one knee and asks for my hand in marriage. Yes, yes! A thousand times yes! He looks up at me, tears in his eyes. “Woah.”
I feel like I could’ve said literally anything and this dude would’ve gone vaguely along with what I was saying. Like, instead of some of these 10/10 lines from Atonement, 10 Things I Hate About You, Hitch, and As Good As It Gets, I could’ve told this dude I put my whole mouth over cat faces for money and the conversation would have been similar.
Does anyone care??? Are there people on this earth who have not seen 10 Things I Hate About You??? Have I been using real words and sentences my whole life for NOTHING????
This guy. Thiiiiiis guy! He’s seen When Harry Met Sally. He’s seen A Cinderella Story. He’s seen He’s Just Not That Into You. He’s seen The Notebook, for crying out loud! He gets it. He wants to rub ice-cream on each other’s faces while we listen to Osher talk about romantic movie songs. What a night it will be: just us, an orchestra, and a suited-up Osher. Maybe it will be raining.
(Lead image: Yogas Design / Unsplash)