too hot to handle contestants ranked

We Ranked The ‘Too Hot To Handle’ Cast Based On Who We’d Want To Be In Iso With

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If you enjoy watching entertaining trash TV (who doesn’t?!), look no further than Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle.

The reality series begins like many other dating shows that have come before it: we meet a bunch of sexy, sweaty singles living together in a house for the chance to find love and win money. But there’s a delicious twist that’s not too dissimilar to the COVID-19 restrictions we’re currently facing: the strangers can’t hook up, or be physically intimate in any way (even with themselves).

If you’re single right now, this will be painfully relatable.

The parallels between Too Hot To Handle and single life under coronavirus lockdown are freaky and it got us thinking: which of the series’ contestants would we want to be stuck in iso with? It’s time for the ranking to end all rankings.

(FYI: we’ve only included the contestants there from day one because honestly, we barely scratched the surface with the newbies.)

We ranked the Too Hot To Handle cast based on who we’d want to be in iso with:

#10. Matthew

This guy was the worst and the idea of being cooped up with someone like him is my actual hell. He spoke only in philosophical musings, and who TF wants to be stuck with Gandhi Lite for weeks on end.

During the series, Matthew preferred the sound of his own voice rather than actually listening to what his female companion was saying. That’s a nope from me.

#9. Nicole

I’ve never seen this person before.

#8. Sharron

Sharron is fine. He likes his penis. That’s all I remember about him.

#7. Francesca

She was a victim of her story arc, so I suspect we actually didn’t get to know the real Francesca. All we saw was her arguing with Harry, them splitting/reuniting, then repeatedly breaking the show’s no sex rules. She seems OK, but I wasn’t floored by what we saw of her personality, and there’d be more exciting people to isolate with.

#6. Rhonda

Rhonda came across as a genuine and kind person — which ain’t great for reality TV. She never got involved in any drama, instead she and Sharron always stood at the sidelines watching on. That kind of personality could get a bit dull over time BUT she’s still a sweetie.

#5. Harry

There’s no denying that in the early episodes of Too Hot To Handle, Harry was trash. He manipulated the whole cast to turn on Francesca and it was nasty to watch. Saying that, as the series went on Harry showed different sides to his personality and he can be a lot of fun. He could prove entertaining to be around and lord knows, we all need some stimulation right now. No, not in a sexual way! Unless? Just kidding.

#4. Kelz

I would like to be quarantined with Kelz to sort out my finances. Seriously. Kelz, the reality show’s resident accountant, could help me sort through my tax returns, pay off my debts and start budgeting for the future. And he wouldn’t take my shit when I made excuses for ordering Uber Eats five times in one week.

We all need a Kelz in our lives.

#3. Haley

This might be controversial, but I actually loved Haley. She is a truly fascinating person, who joined a reality show only to put zero effort into befriending her fellow contestants, instead putting all her time into bombshell Francesca — even convincing her to break the rules and kiss her. Honestly, I have to stan.

Add to this, she doesn’t know where Australia is despite being a geography major in college. Haley is a bizarre specimen who I’d like to scientifically study, and what better chance than while together in iso.

#2. David

David is a sweetheart and the underrated star of the whole show. I’d be hyped to be stuck in self-isolation with him because umm, have you seen his arms? Also he has a British accent, so that’s always a bonus. As a PT, he’d help keep you fit and motivated. And as a man comfortable sharing his emotional sides, he would cry along with you as you binge nonstop rom-coms in lockdown. He’s the perfect man, and quarantine buddy.

#1. Chloe

Chloe, Chloe, Chloe. What a legend. Aside from being the series MVP, imho she’s the only real person on the show. I could see us in iso together stuffing our faces with banana bread, watching MasterChef, then attempting to make a TikTok before failing miserably. But oh boy, we would laugh.

Chloe is packed full of wisdom beyond her years, and she could teach me how to be an empowered feminist or how to become the brightest spark in the book. Imagine. My iso would be a dream.

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Too Hot To Handle is available to stream now on Netflix.