The 10 Different Kinds Of Uber Drivers We’ve All Met
With Uber now a part of a lot of our daily lives, the driver you get has become a bit of a gamble because, oh boy, there are heaps of different kinds of drivers you can encounter on any given day.
Unlike taxis, pretty much anyone can be an Uber driver so the pool of personalities can range from the chatty and overbearing, to a completely silent car trip.
We’ve narrowed these different types down into 10 different categories and compiled the most common Uber drivers we’ve all met.
#1. The one with lots of free shit
With Uber getting so competitive, the free stuff keeps flowing in. Do you want a water? A packet of mentos? Here’s a charger for your phone if you need? Do you want one of my kidneys? The answer to all of these questions is an emphatic ‘yes’.
#2. The one that doesn’t talk and therefore is an angel
You can usually tell within the first minute of an Uber trip if the driver is going to be a talker or not. Never underestimate the power of a silent Uber ride. So relaxing. Much less awkward. Let more Uber drivers learn that most of us don’t need to talk to a stranger and just want to get from A to B.
#3. The one with strong opinions
You can’t quite figure out how in five minutes the conversation had turned into a monologue about of global warming but the guy really wants to you agree that it’s all a government conspiracy. Just nod along and ask to turn the music up to drown out the screaming in your head.
#4. The DJ
The party Uber is here and usually coincides with a Saturday night. If you’re out with friends and already tipsy, the party Uber can be a lot of fun. If you’re by yourself and not really in the mood, yet your ride rocks up with psychedelic trance pumping out the stereo system, then it can get pretty grating.
#5. The creepy one that asks inappropriate questions
Us lady passengers are all too familiar with creepy Uber drivers. From the second you sit down you get a weird vibe, instantly regretting sitting in the front seat. The convo is uncomfortable and always shifts to: do you have a boyfriend? Um, do you have a job? Yeah, driving. So drive, bitch.
#6. The one who is a…WOMAN
A lady for once?! Hallelujah! Meet your new, albeit temporary, bestie. This is the most relaxed you’ll ever feel in an Uber. I once had a cool mum that said I looked stressed so she drove me to a bakery to get a coffee and a croissant. I’ll never forget you, Sandra.
#7. The bad driver
It always starts with an unnecessary phone call then a string of messages saying that they can’t find you or are on a different street. Mate, I’m standing where that drop pin told me to wait. Once you finally get in the car, it gets worse and you beg for your life to be spared.
#8. The one that tells their life story
While you’ve literally said five words, all of a sudden you’re finding out your driver’s place of birth, the names of all their family members and their favourite decade in hip-hop music. I never asked about any of these topics and I don’t give a fuck.
#9. The lonely one
Some Uber drivers just seem desperate for company. While they sometimes talk about themselves, mostly they are really interested in what you’re saying and want to hear all about your life. They legit seem to enjoy conversation which makes you feel like you can’t just put your headphones on and pretend they don’t exist.
#10. The ‘this isn’t my real job’ guy
They’re a part-time telecommunications specialist. Their passion lies in gardening. They’re a student. What they definitely are not is just an Uber driver. I get it, you hate Ubering but this convo is getting awkward and I’m running late for Pilates.
