The Vine’s Real Housewives Of Melbourne Reunion Drinking Game
As our beloved ‘Real Housewives of Melbourne’ wraps up for its third (and arguably best) season, tonight the always catty and heavily botoxed Alex Perry will host the reunion, and its sure to get nasty pasty.
With tensions left in overdrive at the end of the finale, it’s going to be all out war between Lydia Vs Jackie/Janet, and Pettifleur Vs well…everyone.
What better occasion to crack open the Moët, or the nearest goon sack – whatever your drink of choice (or cup of tea CC: Janet) – and play along with The Vine’s drinking game.
Happy playing!! Drink, drank, drunk.
Every time Lydia shares a Lydiaism and makes up some nutso bonkers nonexistent word…
Take a shot, give your nearest pet a cuddle and take a moment to think of Figaro’s personal torment.
Every time Janet calls someone a liar…
Take a long sip of house wine and wait for the pain to stop.
Every time Jackie gabs on about her angels or shining or someone “not being real”…
Grab a bottle of Jackie and Ben’s La Máscara and pour it down the nearest drain.
Every time Susie speaks, as it’s a momentous occasion…
Chug down an entire can of the cheapest and nastiest beer on hand, but accompany it with a freshly baked scone- thanking the Country Women’s Association.
Every time Gina shouts out “this is bullshit!”…
Make the tackiest cocktail imaginable, possibly mix a Cocksucking Cowboy with a Screaming Orgasm, take a quick sip before chucking it in your friends face, in your fiercest drag queen impression- even Gina’s overlord RuPaul would approve.
Every time Gamble breaks the tension by saying something inappropriate…
Break a bottle on your noggen and scream out loud to your neighbours:
‘THANK FUCK FOR GAMBLE BREAUX”.
Every time Lydia looks confused…
This will happen A LOT. Pace yourself! Take a micro-sip of your weakest brew.
Every time Pettifleur prefers the sound of her own voice to anything the other women have to say…
It’s straight vodka time. Keep drinking until Pettifleur’s self-indulgent babbling is drowned out.
Every time Chyka looks like she wishes she was on another planet…
Save your best drink until last. Give a toast to Chyka, the only normal human of the bunch. We will miss you, Chyks! Now drink, drink, drink…and have solace in the thought that at least Chyka is exiting this nightmare. But a fucking entertaining one!
See ya next season!