Zac Efron Movies Ranked From When He Was Really Sexy To Just Kinda Ehhh
Throwback to 2006 when a fresh-faced 18-year-old Zac Efron came onto the scene and was granted the crown as ultimate teen boy crush of the moment. Unfortunately, not all love lasts forever.
Zac Efron is without argument a very good looking human person. So the spectrum he moves across really only ranges from “DAMNNNNN,” to “Yeah, not my top pick but would still jump at the chance”.
But the truth is, early-day Zac was just better and that is not a subjective opinion — that is hard-hitting objective journalism comin’ atchya. Yes, Zac Efron did play a crucial role in my sexual awakening, and yes I did build a Zac Efron mural made out of printed out and carefully cut pictures I found on the internet. But this ranking is 100% unbiased.
Like I said, he’s still firmly on the naturally gifted side of the spectrum at all times and I’m not saying I would necessarily ever say no, per se, if Zac propositioned me. However, each time he returns to the screen we naturally must ask ourselves, “to thirst or not to thirst?”
Here are Zac Efron’s movies ranked from ‘absolute thirst’ to ‘yeah, I might have a sip but I’m all round pretty well hydrated’:
Hairspray
Let us all agree that Zac Efron as Link was the peak thirst trap of his career. The late 50’s/early 60’s were the era for this boy. The tight-fitted high rider pants and that hair — ooooooft, HELLO. I died when he sang ‘Ladies Choice’ and every time he winked.
And this moment changed the world as we know it:
High School Musical Franchise
While we should acknowledge that it’s no longer appropriate to lust after High School Musical’s Troy Bolton, if you’re no longer in the teens (if you are tho, get around it), I think we can all acknowledge that Troy was the ultimate boy crush.
He had a real sheen about him that just said ‘golden boy’, and we ate it right up.
HSM 2 might have gone overboard with the fake tan but Troy was still a snack. Also, how can you not be attracted to Zac performing ‘Bet On It’ — it’s physically impossible.
HSM 3 #NeverForget
17 Again
Remember that post make-over scene with the car and the glasses and the jacket and the heart palpitations and the drooling and the R-rated fantasies? Same.
Although, still struggling to suspend disbelief and accept that Zac Efron could grow up to look like Chanandler Bong.
Charlie St Cloud
This was a good time.
Nothing not to like about young 20’s slim-build Zac, playing the hot but sensitive manboy of our dreams.
The Lucky Ones
Putting aside the fact that this is a terrible movie and Zac’s facial hair makes his face look overly round, he still looks pretty damn hot.
If a random dude is going to show up and take an overt interest in your life, they may as well look like this.
That Awkward Moment/Are We Officially Dating
Zac plays the fuckboi character well. He’s clearly a shit bloke but he’s funny and has some endearing qualities that make you stilllll kinda want to hit that (the character, not Zac, I’m sure he’s lovely). So yeah, he nailed it.
Not the best hair but still an all-round thirst trap.
The Greatest Showman
Not sure about sideburns, although the Hugh Jackman aesthetic isn’t totally horrible. Points for on-screen singing and good taste in women. Zendaya is an actual angel.
New Years Eve
Bad haircut. All I’m sayin’.
We Are Your Friends
Zac Efron in mostly tank tops playing mediocre EDM music, in a movie about DJ-ing that is decidedly shitty.
Underwhelmed by this mostly because boys-who-are-aspiring-DJs are everywhere and their generic aspirations are exhausting.
Bad Neighbours
This overly jacked frat boi aesthetic is scoring him very few points in my book, probably because he looks like the kind of guy who texts you at 3am and never offers to wear a condom.
I get let-me-tell-you-how-often-I-go-to-the-gym vibes from this era Zac and I don’t love it.
Baywatch
Too swoll for my taste. And too polished.
It seems that over time, Zac embraced the ‘hunk’ aesthetic too enthusiastically. As Rob Stott wrote for Junkee, “The Age Of The Hunk is over, and Zac Efron killed it. History is a pendulum, eventually, it has to swing back in the other direction. With Efron, the hunks got so big, so swole, that Hollywood had no choice but to head in the other direction. Efron was the Icarus of hunks – he flew too close to the sun.”
Look, I’m not saying it’s HORRIBLE…
But I’m just saying, bring this era Efron back ammirite.
Please and thank you.