Bachy’s Abbie & Konrad On Their Open Relationship
Abbie Chatfield and Konrad Bien-Stephen have opened up about their relationship on Abbie’s podcast It’s A Lot, after dispelling breakup rumours.
The two, who famously started dating before Brooke Blurton’s season of The Bachelorette had wrapped up on air causing some controversy, have been in a long-distance romance since around November.
The long-distance nature of the relationship has caused some fans to question whether the two are still together, so Konrad finally appeared on Abbie’s podcast and they spoke openly about their love story, as well as the nature of their relationship — revealing they are non-monogamous.
Here’s what we learned from Abbie and Konrad’s candid chat on It’s A Lot.
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Konrad had a strict rule when it comes to sleeping with people:
Before meeting Abbie, Konrad’s rule when it came to casual sex was only sleeping with the person two times, unless you had feelings for them.
“I think more than twice you’re forming emotional connections and someone can get hurt. Talk about it first, communicate it first,” Konrad said.
“You communicated it before we even had sex,” Abbie said. “It made me feel insecure.”
“You told me it turned you on?” Konrad said in response.
“But we hadn’t even slept together and you were like, just so you know I only sleep with people twice because I don’t want to hurt them,” Abbie rebutted before Konrad explained the rule further, saying it was just as much for him.
“I also do it for myself. It’s to protect myself,” he said. “Because sometimes I overlook red flags because I think, this is fun, I like this person.”
On the issues they’ve faced in their relationship so far:
“Obviously we have issues,” Abbie said. “As any long-distance relationship who basically went from meeting to living together in a day or two would, and being in the public eye. It’s really hard to do long-distance. This doesn’t mean we’re breaking up, we love each other a lot, we communicate things really well.”
“There hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t felt it’s not right or there’s been an issue that I thought was serious,” Konrad agreed.
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On the future of their relationship:
“Our options right now are you move in with me, or we break up, because long-distance isn’t a vibe for either of us for many reasons and it’s a bit hard,” Abbie explained. “So we’re figuring that out now. And not break up tomorrow, we know we can’t do this for very long.”
“I also think if we couldn’t live harmoniously together, which we can, I don’t think at any point it changes. So if it’s not gonna work…” Konrad said before Abbie finished his sentence. “It’s not gonna work, so we’ll be besties.”
On being non-monogamous:
“One of the things I wanted for myself going into another relationship was not to sacrifice anything that I wanted to do. Basically, I wasn’t going to just date anybody just to date. I wasn’t going to just go into a relationship just to be in a relationship, I think you’re a very special person,” Konrad told Abbie.
“First of all, we’re in love. We aren’t breaking up. Mummy and Daddy aren’t breaking up,” Abbie stated. “We’re just having a different structure to our relationship. We’re open! We’re in an open relationship, which we love. To be fair, I haven’t had sex with anyone yet which is annoying. You’ve fucked someone which is iconic.”
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On the mixed reaction people have had to their open relationship:
“People get really upset. People assume you’re forcing me, very sexist that I couldn’t be the one forcing you,” Abbie said.
“The girls I meet, or am trying to sleep with or whatever, they’re like ‘I’m so sorry for you, that’s really sad’,” Konrad added.
“I think people think we’re doing it as though one of us is forcing the other which isn’t true. I don’t care about someone’s genitals going in someone else’s genitals or near, or on. I don’t care. It’s my kink!” Abbie said.
On communication and having rules:
“It’s actually pretty funny, when I did sleep with someone and I called Abbie the next day she was like ‘hot, tell me more’, and I was the one freaking out,” Konrad said. “I had never been in an open relationship before, but it’s something I want to explore, and navigate and learn. It’s not like you just go sleep with anyone. There are rules. There’s so much more to a relationship than just sex.”
“Our rules are, you can’t fuck someone you’ve fucked before like an ex, and we can’t fuck friends, and we can’t fuck someone more than once unless we speak about it. It’s a grey area,” Abbie elaborated. “We’re going to try and go to sex therapy or a couples therapist to get our rules down pat. But I’m too busy! No one wants to fuck me! But I haven’t had a chance to fuck anyone because I don’t really meet people.”