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Celebrity Sex Toys Ranked Honestly By An Oversharing Sex Editor

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I’ve had the unique pleasure of being a Sex Editor for over five years, and during that period I’m predicting around 800 vibrators, butt plugs, dick sleeves and kegal balls have slipped across my desk.

This means two things: I’ve tested a lot of sex toys and my desk is a HR red flag. 

The first makes me incredibly qualified for reviewing and ranking vibrators that have been created with, flogged by or generally endorsed by influencers and celebrities alike. Because I go past the branding and PR and into the nitty gritty of the sex toy’s function and form.

This is exactly what I’m going to do here, in a giant ranking list of influencer-endorsed dongs.

(For reference, I am a female-identifying vulva owner, so all of these reviews are coming from the perspective of me and my own pleasure.)

Let’s get into the sex toy scores, shall we?

The Womanizer Liberty by Lily Allen, $119.

Lily Allen – somewhere between her last appearance at Glastonbury and marrying Hopper from Stranger Things – released a collaboration with Womanizer. It was a bit random, but VERY welcomed by me because Womanizer knows exactly what they’re doing with their sex toys. They famously spend around 12 years between releases because they like to take their time to perfect pleasure.

God bless them.

But this collab was more of a spin-off of their best-selling clit sucker – featuring their well-loved suction technology – in a cute, compact travel-sized version. 

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Lily Allen’s Womanizer vibrator. Image credit: Womanizer + Punkee

From what I can tell, Lily just picked the name and colourways, which are adorable, but that’s the only difference. There are the same six suction speeds and WOAH-HELLO response when you pop this directly on a clitoris. 

For that reason, I will give this sex toy a 9/10. It’s not doing anything radical, but it will definitely become a bedside table bestie.

Vush Limited Editon Twist Vibrator by Ella and Dom, $140.

If your mind wipes out the entire MAFS cast after a season wraps, then let me remind you of these ex-brides. Ella Ding and Domenica Calarco were on Season 9 of Married At First Sight, and while they said ‘I Do’ to their partners Jack and Mitch, they ended things with the boys but kickstarted a big friendship with each other.

The two went on to launch a podcast, a shoe line and now a sex toy too! They paired up with Vush to bring their sex toy to life, and when the news was announced I was intrigued because Vush already have a lot of vibrators – so what shape, suction or design was going to be ‘their thing’?

Well, apparently a Helter Skelter screwdriver in radioactive green. That was what was left. 

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Ella + Dom’s Vibrator. Image credit: Vush + Punkee

Their ‘twist’ vibrator looks terrifying at first glance – and as I unboxed it in front of my friend, she immediately exclaimed: “My vaginismus just got worse.”

While ribbed dildos have been around for yonks, this level of divot in a vibrator I have never seen before. It’s has a soft silicone fabric, but that shape is confronting, so when I tested it out for the first time I used a LOT of lube (just to be safe) – and, to be honest, it was needed. 

The feeling *inside* is quite nice, but having this anywhere near the entry of a vagina is NOT GOOD. I repeat, very NOT GOOD. 

For that reason, I’m going to give this gimmicky dong a 1/10.

Goop double-sided wand vibrator, $98 USD.

If you didn’t know already, Goop now makes sex toys. They branched into sexual wellness off the back of the sexy episodes in the Goop Lab Netflix series, and now they have a selection of boujie vibrators you can shop knowing full well that they are endorsed by Gwyneth Paltrow herself.

One of them is this double-sided wand vibrator, and I must say, this is actually a pretty clever design. Most wands hold all the action in the top bulbous bit, but this one vibrates at either end, so you can twizzle it around if you fancy some internal play as well as external buzzes. 

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Goop Wand Vibrator. Image credit: Goop + Punkee

The only downside of this is that the round head isn’t as powerful as their traditional wand competitors – particularly of the plug-in variety that can legitimately blow your clit clean off if you’re not careful. 

It’s a solid sex toy and would make a lovely gift for a recently divorced aunt. So for that reason, I’d give it a 7/10.

Goop Viva la Vulva Vibrator, $98 USD.

Okay, I simply had to include this one because of the name. Yes, Gwynnie appears to have named a vibrator after her ex-husband’s best-selling song. If that doesn’t scream conscious uncoupling then I don’t know what does.

This curious-looking dude is a clitorial stimulator by trade, but because of its kooky design, it can kinda be used on any pleasure receptacle you fancy. The gold ball is the vibrating bit, but the whole thing shudders, so it can be rolled around all over. 

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Goop’s Viva La Vulva vibrator. Image credit: Goop + Punkee

This sex toy is saying bon voyage (aka it’s getting discontinued) and I reckon that’s because it’s more style than substance. Makes for a swanky decoration to shove on your bedside table, but it’s not going to do a whole lot more than that for you, sexually speaking.

I give this toy a 4/10. Two points for the look, two points for the name.

Vush G-Spot Vibrator by Abbie Chatfield, $45.

I know this is going to sound like hyperbole, but this vibrator changed my life. 

I was gifted the Abbie Chatfield G-spot vibrator a few years ago, opened it up and thought to myself, ‘that’s a weird-shaped vibrator’. The skinny shaft and bulbous top freaked me out and I didn’t think it was going to be my jam. 

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Abbie Chatfield’s G-spot vibrator. Image credit: Vush + Punkee

On first testing I proved my own theory – it was uncomfortable, felt strange inside and out and didn’t get me going at all.

But then, a few months later, I gave it another go. 

I was more relaxed and less impatient this time and I took things slow and steady, lying on my bag with my knees loosely in the air. It was still a little awkward to get into position, but then I repositioned my hips and HOLY HELL. 

In what I can only assume is some form of wizardry, this vibrator managed to hit my G-spot, stimulate my clit and buzz through my butt – and this triple whammy destroyed me. In the absolute best way possible. 

Since that ‘come to Jesus’ moment with the Abbie vibrator, I have used it almost weekly and it’s hands down my favourite sex toy ever. I’ve used it solo and with partners and it still impresses me every single time I yank it out of my sex toy wardrobe. (Yes, that’s a thing and yes, you should have one too.)

It’s so good, in fact, that I later interviewed Abbie Chatfield myself and asked her what the f**k she had done to my vagina. She laughed, I cried and it was a beautiful bonding moment all round. 

This sex toy ranking (if you’ll allow it) is easily a 25/10. 

Image Credits: Punkee, Vush, Womanizer, Goop.