15 Facts That All Australians Know Are Absolutely True

There are a few certainties in life: taxes, death and knowing that potato scallop is absolutely the right term.

Disagree? Well, at the very least the potato scallop and potato cake people can band together to denounce potato fritters.

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While there are some wildly controversial opinions such as the above, there are definitely a few cold, hard facts most Aussies can band together on. Here are 15 of them.

1. Fairy bread tastes better when it’s cut in triangles.


It’s just the damn truth xo.

2. Chips aren’t good unless they’re doused in chicken salt.

Going to a fish & chip shop to only ask for plain salt should be illegal.


3. And on that, all chips are called chips and GTFO if you call them fries.

Everything is chips. Chips are everything. Chips are life.

4. We never really know who our prime minister is.


On Monday it could be a Malcolm, by Friday it could be a Scott, and every other day in between just pick any other white man’s name.

5. Goon is better straight from the bag.

I’m not saying it’s GOOD, I’m just saying it’s BETTER.

6. Every Aussie is terrified of one particular bird.


Watch yo back, watch yo kids, watch yo Grandma, it’s swooping season.

7. Most of your education when it came to drugs/alcohol came from a puppet giraffe.

And his accomplice named Tammy.

8. It feels like everyone on your social media feed will go live out their dreams in Europe during the Aussie winter.

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We get it Sam, you went to Croatia just like every second person in my feed.

9. The proper way to make Cottee’s cordial is a 50-50 ratio of cordial to water, no matter what your mum said.

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And no matter how old you are now, it still applies.

10. No dessert will ever make you feel as nostalgic as the Pizza Hut dessert bar with the mini marshmallows and choc chips.

I need it back in my life.

11. It’s perfectly acceptable to slap some devon on two pieces of white bread, slather it with some tom sauce and call it lunch.

Be the skinny legend you know you are.

12. Whoever gets to the handball court first is King.

I don’t make the rules, I just follow them.

13. Bunning’s sausage sizzles ALWAYS taste better than any other BBQ you go to.


What kind of sorcery is this?

14. Ditto with a Democracy sausage.

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Sure our government can barely function, but we’ll always have the sausage.

15. And let’s never forget, it’s fucking criminal to be charged for tomato sauce.

I don’t give a flying Fruit Loop if you keep it in the fridge or the cupboard, just don’t charge me for a sachet, it’s un-Australian.