The Definitive Ranking Of The Daggy Dances We Do At Aussie Weddings

There is nothing that unites a dancefloor full of strangers like an absolute banger– especially one where everyone knows the dance moves.

In Australia, we were raised to absolutely froth anthems like the ‘The Ketchup Song’ and the ‘Nutbush’. Any party tracklist without these kinds of tunes is an absolute faux pas, not to mention a missed opportunity to get the party pumping.

Most commonly performed at school discos, formals, debutante balls, and then weddings, there’s a handful of truly great dances that Aussies just can’t resist and we’re ranking them all.

(And no, we didn’t include Eagle Rock because gents, dropping your dacks ain’t a dance.)

The definitive ranking of daggy dances we do at Aussie weddings:

#8. ‘Gangnam Style’

This dance is only enjoyable if you’re several shots of fireball deep. No one looks good maniacally skipping while waving an imaginary lasso above their heads. No one. The dance is almost as annoying as the song.

#7. ‘Thriller’

This dance is just far too complicated for its own good. A wedding dance should involve only a handful of very basic moves that even the most uncoordinated person can pull off.

‘Thriller’ ain’t it: it includes some pretty advanced choreography which can cause a bit of confusion, usually ending in Uncle Steve giving up and moaning around like a zombie across the dance floor. Life sadly is not like a Jennifer Garner movie.

#6. ‘The Ketchup Song’

Now, we’re cooking! Cooking… ketchup! ‘The Ketchup Song’ by Las Ketchup (those guys really like ketchup, huh) was a one-hit wonder that only became memorable because of the easy to learn dance moves the women performed in the music video. But it’s about as basic as a dance can get, only involving hand movements, which doesn’t make for particularly loose and wild times.

#5. ‘5,6,7,8’

I love this dance and can still whip out every movie to this day. The Steps song was released when I was in primary school and at the time I legit thought that all line dancing was based on this song. The best part is that unlike a lot of other line dances, you don’t need a partner, so TAKE THAT JASON — my grade five crush and reluctant partner who refused to hold my hand in PE class.

#4. ‘YMCA’

Do you get much more basic than the dance moves in ‘YMCA’? Nope, but somehow it still totally works. I don’t know how but when that brass beat hits and the Village People sing out “Young man!”, it puts some kind of spell over the dance floor and people can’t stop themselves from forming letter shapes with their body parts.

#3. ‘The Time Warp’

There is no easier dance to follow than ‘The Time Warp’ because the song’s lyrics provide all the instructions you need. Jump to left, step to the right, hands on your hips — even Aunt Beryl can keep up.

#2. ‘Macarena’

The ‘Macarena’ is the universal dance that binds us all as human beings. I’m pretty sure that after we first learn to walk, we then learn to Macarena. I just assume that’s how it works because I actually don’t recall being taught this damn dance but it lives inside me and has become part of my DNA.

#1. ‘Nutbush’

Did you think any other dance could claim first prize? NUTBUSH OR NOTHING. Where were you the day you found out that only Aussies perform a dance to this song? It shook me to my very core. Despite being an American song, it’s essentially our national dance so don’t you dare say that Australia doesn’t have culture.

* Furiously kicks my way to the D-floor *