22 Questions I Had After Watching Netflix’s Horny Nanny Thriller ‘Deadly Illusions’
It’s been over a week since I first watched Netflix’s bonkers erotic thriller Deadly Illusions and I still can’t stop thinking about it.
If this was a movie on Lifetime that featured little known actors, I wouldn’t give this film a second thought. But as a diehard fan of Sex and the City, Kristin Davis leading this weird-as-shit lesbian thriller has truly piqued my interest. Furthermore, Dermot Mulroney plays her husband, an actor synonymous with almost every beloved late ’90s and early ’00s rom-com. This cast is impressive which makes me wonder: how the hell did they end up in this film? For the record, we’re talking about a movie that has scored an abysmal 13% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Deadly Illusions follows successful crime novelist Mary Morrison (Davis), who is forced to agree to write another book in her franchise after her husband, Tom (Mulroney), loses some of their family’s savings. This leads to Mary hiring a young, mysterious nanny to take care of her children and from here, well…things escalate. Oh boy, do they escalate.
There are just so many plot holes, cringe-inducing one-liners and baffling moments in this movie. By the end, you’ll be left asking: how did I watch this whole film, and why am I absolutely going to watch it another five times?
Here are 22 questions I had after watching Netflix’s Deadly Illusions:
We meet the Morrison family in their fancy home, as they make smoothies and get ready for the day. We assume the family’s money comes from Mary, who is a super successful crime novelist but has retired to focus on being a mother and spending more time with her husband, Tom.
She sends her kids to school, before getting dressed up in a big grey coat and heels, sliding on red lipstick, before grabbing a pair of black-rimmed glasses. The way the camera pans across her outfit, you’d think she’s getting ready to go err…somewhere, but instead, she is just staying inside her house (while dressed like she’s about to pull off some kind of jewellery heist).
Mary greets two publicists representing her book publisher, and they tell her their company is struggling financially so they present Mary with an offer to write another instalment in her popular series. Mary is not happy!! She says she was misled when she agreed to the meeting.
After one of the publicists tries to guilt-trip Mary, she lets her have it…
OK, MARY!!! That took a real turn.
1. Is it that unreasonable that a book publisher organised a meeting to ask a writer to write another book??
Tom discovers the offer and that the contract promises a $2 million advance for the next novel. Mary doesn’t want to write the book, but after Tom reveals he’s lost most of their money in dodgy trading, she decides it’s the only way to avoid financial ruin.
We meet Mary’s therapist friend Elaine in a sauna, Mary tells her about how she worries that when she writes, she turns into a different person. Elaine encourages Mary to hire a nanny, so she can focus full-time on writing. She gives Mary a card for a headhunter she should contact, who then sends a bunch of nannies to Mary’s house to interview.
They are hilariously awful, with most being like, “Kids? Yuck!”. It’s funny but also just doesn’t make sense as they were all supposed to be specifically of such a high standard.
Just as Mary is giving up hope, a young woman named Grace arrives and charms Mary with her sickly sweet demeanour. In one bizarre moment (of many!), as their interview is about to begin, Grace starts reading a book.
2. Errr, is it normal to ignore your interviewer and read a book during your interview?
Grace gets the job, even though she’s clearly a grown-ass woman pushing 30, who is dressed like she’s in primary school.
It’s very unsettling!!
3. Mary, is it rather odd you didn’t ask the woman you’ve hired to take care of your kids what her age is, her education, or her background working with children? Maybe ask for a damn resume??
Just a thought!
Elaine visits with her kids on Grace’s first day and Mary says something that I’m still baffled by: they only have the nanny for a week.
4. Ummm, does Mary plan on writing an entire novel in one week?
But Grace totally stays for longer than a week, right? Unless this whole movie takes place over just seven days?? Oh boy, things really escalate quickly in this house!
Grace takes the kids swimming and Mary lends her a swimsuit.
5. This is just not normal, right? Right??
To take advantage of their time without kids, Tom corners Mary in the kitchen and they have sex in the pantry. It’s already clear that Tom’s only function in this film is to provide eye candy and have sex with Mary — and I think that’s beautiful.
The next day, after Mary cuts her foot and Grace helps clean up the wound, Mary suggests they go “play hooky” and takes her ummm…lingerie shopping.
6. OK, at this stage Mary still hasn’t asked Grace her age. But either way, is this not inappropriate on every level for an employer to do with their employee??
why is she buying her lingerie… ma'am ?? #DeadlyIllusions pic.twitter.com/p0js9G4UEz
— tafara 🌻 (@miightymorphin) March 18, 2021
Mary arranges for Grace to get her boobs measured for a new bra. Grace looks super uncomfortable. As Grace changes, Mary stays in the change room with her young nanny. NOW I AM UNCOMFORTABLE. Things escalate when Grace grabs Mary’s hand and places it over her breast.
7. Is it just me, or does this feel like some bad porno scene a straight man would write about what women do together in change rooms?
Idk, but in my experience getting my bra sized, it’s usually an elderly saleswoman scolding me for wearing the wrong size for my entire life, while shouting at me to tighten my straps. Mind your business, Geraldine!!
But enough about me. As Mary struggles with writer’s block, she wanders around her garden while puffing on a cigar. She smokes a lot of cigars in this movie and I’d hazard a guess that Davis has never held a cigar in her life.
8. Is this how I looked pretending my lollipop stick was Sandra Dee from Grease’s cigarette when I was eight years old?
Like all things in this movie, Mary’s constant cigar smoking is never explained. Are we just supposed to accept that a crime writer must simply smoke like a chimney??
9. Also, like why is Mary writing her entire book by hand? Have you never heard of a laptop, Mary?
This isn’t the 18th century!! Considering you’re using a storyboard to work out all the book’s twists and turns, writing it by hand doesn’t make much sense for a crime writer. You can’t go back and edit the narrative, which would foreshadow what’s to come — which you haven’t figured out yet!!
Make it make sense, Mary!!
Mary spots Grace getting changed and watches her through the window. Creepy! As Mary tries to focus on writing, she can’t stop fantasising about Grace. While sunbathing topless (in winter?? OK!), she asks Grace to apply lotion to her back. This turns into a long and intense massage. Mary jumps into the water, then takes off her wet bathers and gives them to Grace.
Grace puts them on.
10. Is this person wearing another woman’s used bathers here on this day???
Mary tells Grace that she’s finally broken through her writer’s block. To celebrate, Mary offers Grace a drink, but hesitates, asking if she’s old enough for alcohol. Ummm.
11. How is Mary only asking Grace’s age now?? Not before the naked swim, topless massage, or boob grope??
As time goes on, Mary starts to have vivid erotic hallucinations involving Grace — she doesn’t know what is real and what is just in her mind — while Grace’s obsession with Mary intensifies. One of these potential hallucinations involves Grace making Mary cum in the bath. It’s a hot scene, but then it turns out it wasn’t even real.
12. I feel ripped off! Are all the good sex scenes in this movie just existing in Mary’s mind??
Tom invites Grace to lunch, where he makes a weird comment about her age; he’s unsure if she’s 20 or 40. I’ve watched enough horror movies to predict that at this stage Grace was going to cackle then turn into a grotesque 60-year-old witch before his eyes. But instead she just does a big stretch to show off her youthful physique.
The whole scene is made even more strange because…
13. How did their drinks arrive in precisely 18 seconds after ordering? (Yes, I timed it.)
the most unrealistic thing about the film Deadly Illusions isn’t the fact that they hired a nanny without knowing her last name or age, it is how quickly they were served their drinks in this scene. #deadlyillusions #wheresmydrink #cantlookaway pic.twitter.com/Ajs2IoO3ba
— Jess (@jesskm22) March 19, 2021
Tom and Grace return from lunch when it’s dark outside, which is either a mistake in this movie (which would not shock me at all), or they did a lot more than just eat quiche…if you know what I mean!! But Mary isn’t missing out on the action, the next day she bike rides with Grace to have a picnic and they share a steamy kiss.
As Mary and Grace get ready to return home, they realise their bike tyres have been slashed. As they walk their bikes home, when they arrive home Elaine is waiting with Tom. Elaine pulls Mary aside and tells her that she suspects Tom is cheating on her, because Mary hasn’t been having enough sex with him.
14. Umm….what kind of toxic sexist shit is this??
Meanwhile, Grace is getting even more obsessed with Mary. Grace goes down on Mary in the kitchen, and her family almost walk in on them. This scene followed Grace feeding Mary a bowl of chilli, which we later assume was laced with some kind of sleeping medication.
The drugs hit Mary and she goes to bed. She wakes up and catches Tom going down on Grace, who appears to be a different, much more sinister person, dressed as a dominatrix. It’s unclear if this is real or Mary’s hallucination. Mary collapses and wakes up in a foul mood, as the family are getting ready for dinner.
15. How is it still nighttime?? How did the sleeping pill only send her to sleep for what….20 minutes? Enough time for Tom to give Grace head??
When will daytime come again in this movie?? I miss the sunshine! At family dinner, Mary yells at Grace, asking her why she’s still in their house. I mean…
The bitch hasn’t left this family for days??…weeks???….months??? I don’t even know.
After dinner, Mary explodes at Tom about all the shitty things he’s done in their marriage. They reconcile but then Mary goes missing in the night, and doesn’t return for several hours. The following morning, Mary calls the nanny agency and discovers that Grace does not work for them.
16. Firstly, is she really that shocked?? She didn’t do any kind of background checks? Or ask any questions?
17. Secondly, how come her payments to the nanny agency were accepted when she had not hired any of the nannies they represent??
Mary remembers Grace goes to libraries, so works out her real identity from that fact alone. It’s best not to think too much about the things that happen in this movie and just let it wash over you.
Armed with this new information, Mary visits Elaine but she’s…dead?? Next thing we know, Mary is being questioned by the police and this is when the movie takes another turn. We find out Elaine had been scribbling notes about Mary’s declining mental state, and someone who looks like Mary was spotted entering and leaving Elaine’s office when she was killed.
Add to this, Elaine had been stabbed in the neck with scissors, which happens to be the way one of the characters dies in Mary’s book.
The police ask Mary about all this and all I’m thinking is…
18. WHY DOESN’T MARY TELL THE POLICE THAT HER NANNY IS A POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS IMPOSTER??
In the police station’s waiting room, Tom asks Mary where she went the night before, as she was missing for several hours. He also tells Mary that her fingerprints were on a Swiss Army knife that was used to slash the bike tyres.
19. I just don’t know how Mary slashing the tyres would relate to Elaine’s murder?? Or how Tom had time to test the knife for fingerprints??
Mary flees the police. No one follows her, despite Mary being a, you know, suspected murderer. She tracks down Grace’s family, visiting her aunt who tells her that Grace was part of an abusive cult when she was younger. The aunt who took Grace in appears to have some kind of split personality disorder…something that Mary realises Grace has as well.
After the aunt reveals that Grace works at a gym, all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place. Grace overheard Mary talking about needing a nanny when she was at the sauna, and therefore worked out how to trick Mary into thinking she was sent from the agency. We see flashes of Grace at the agency, getting rejected for a nanny job and stealing info from papers on the headhunter’s desk.
20. I mean, sure she probably got Mary’s address from there. But like, how did she know what time Mary was holding the nanny interviews? Did she just wait outside Mary’s home 24/7 waiting to pounce? Did she bug Mary’s phone?
None of this is ever explained.
Mary rushes back to her family, but she’s too late. Back at home, as Tom is showering, Grace bursts in and appears to be a different person and slashes him across the chest with a knife, leaving him bleeding on the bathroom floor. Mary arrives and Grace reverts back to her old self, she tries to clean up the blood, and calls the police.
Grace’s evil alter-ego (her name is Margaret for those playing at home) returns and chases Mary around the house.
21. But Mary, why are you trying to hide inside a fridge??
It is a pretty big fridge but I don’t think you’ll fit, hon!
There’s some truly cooked scene where Mary puts Grace’s hair in a blender. Then we flash to Grace as an abused child, learning she developed a split personality to deal with her childhood trauma.
Anyways, Mary smashes a vase over Margaret’s head and all of a sudden, Grace is back. The police arrive.
We flash to year later. Mary and Tom are happy again. Mary visits Grace at a psychiatric facility and they play cards. Someone leaves the building, however, they are dressed the same as Margaret when she (presumedly?) killed Elaine.
The ending of Deadly Illusions has left me with a million questions! pic.twitter.com/0zGmE3qoyP
— Nikz🤘 (@Nikz_LFC) March 19, 2021
22. My final question: why would she wait a whole year to enact this plan? And will I ever get that one hour and 54 minutes of my life back?
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Deadly Illusions is available to stream on Netflix.