14 Questions I Have After Watching ‘Holidate’
Okay so, I’ve just seen Holidate and I have so many questions…
Alrighty, it’s officially November which means that 2020 is almost over and thank goodness for that. It also means that Christmas is right around the corner. So, while you’re frantically organising family gatherings and streaming Mariah Carey, we know you’re already consuming Netflix’s incredible lineup of Holiday-themed flicks.
But today, we’re going to streamline all of our attention to Netflix’s newest Christmas-themed rom-com, Holidate which stars Emma Roberts and our very own Luke Bracey. After watching Holidate over the weekend, I decided that it is in fact, a trash film, which makes it an incredible Christmas movie and one that I will be watching for the years to come.
The Holidate was probably the worst movie I’ve ever seen but I’d definitely recommend it and I WILL be watching it again
— brooke (@ladyefron) November 2, 2020
But, having said that, I did leave the movie with 14 unanswered questions.
Let’s break them down.
#1. WTF Is A ‘Holidate’?
damn i… kind of want to meet a weird obnoxious dude in the mall and begrudgingly agree to be his holidate and unexpectedly fall for him for no apparent reason then deny my feelings because lol drama only for me to give a speech in a mall with everyone clapping pic.twitter.com/rXoflcVeJz
— yt: unfilteredmay (@mayquestionmark) November 3, 2020
OK sure, Christmas movies often have outlandish plots. And in fairness, there was no forgetting-to-bring-your-child-on-an-international-flight plot, there was no gigantic-imaginary-train-driving-to-the-north-pole plot, and there was no Bruce Willis climbing through vents. But, the plot of Holidate does not get a free pass.
First and foremost, we have to ask: WTF is a ‘Holidate’ and when did they become a thing? Because the way that Kristin Chenoweth so blasély threw the term around had us wondering if ‘Holidates’ were mainstream before this movie came out.
Also, is the pressure to bring someone home for Christmas really so much that it’s worth bringing home a complete stranger who insulted you at the local shopping centre? Like no, right? Anyway, we push through.
#2. Like, Sloane Could’ve Just Stayed Home, Right?
The premise for the movie Holidate… why don’t they just stay home?
— natalie tran (@natalietran) November 5, 2020
Sorry, yeah. Circling back.
She absolutely could have just not gone to the family gathering. Right? Anyway, let’s continue pushing through.
#3. Is The Aussie Accent Always This Jarring?
In the first scene of the film, we are introduced to Jackson (played by Luke Bracey) and we just have to say, his accent is so much. Like, it’s almost too much. Is our accent always this jarring in American contexts? Far out.
#4. Is The Aussie Accent An Adequate Substitute For A Personality?
Like, no, it’s not.
Approximately five minutes into the movie and we can already establish that Jackson is simply a classic f*ckboy. The only difference is that his accent sticks out like a sore thumb in all conversations. And sorry, but that’s not enough of a personality for me. He’s lucky he is so charismatic that we end up stanning by the end of the film – but still!
#5. Why Did Jackson Call Chinos, “Khakis”?
Luke Bracey is so damn charming in Holidate — all the way down to the fact he pronounces khaki like “car-key” pic.twitter.com/4aEb4kSVzc
— Netflix (@netflix) November 2, 2020
13 minutes into the film and we already know that the script was written by Americans. No, and I repeat, no Australian would ever refer to chino pants as Khakis. No one! This film is a lie!
#6. Why Do The Characters Worry About Bringing People Home For Easter?
It would be alarming
— natalie tran (@natalietran) November 5, 2020
So, here’s where things start to get confusing. Solone has just spent New Year’s with Jackson and for some reason, she is organising to hang out with him for every single holiday in the calendar year.
Let me just say, I get the whole New Year’s thing. I fully get it. There’s the whole who-are-you-going-to-kiss-at-midnight discourse, sure, you can have that, Netflix. But, some of the other “holidays” that Solone organises a ‘Holidate’ for are just silly. Like, Valentine’s Day isn’t even a public holiday. Also, who the hell is bringing someone home for Easter? AND why TF is anyone (who isn’t Irish) celebrating Saint Patrick’s Day? Someone grab me a ladder because I’ve just fallen into a major plothole.
#7. Where Does Aunt Susan Even Find Her Holidates?
Essential context, Aunt Susan (played by Kristin Chenoweth) introduces the concept of a ‘Holidate’ to the film. But, what is incredibly strange is that she gets them so easily. Where does she meet people who are ready to stop whatever they’re doing to have dinner with a room full of complete strangers? How does anyone even meet someone in person nowadays? I’d like to see this movie made with the COVID-19 pandemic as a side-plot because there is no way she is meeting and befriending strangers in this context. Regardless, this brings me to my next question…
#8. Why Isn’t Kristin Chenoweth In More Movies?
Lowkey, the main takeaway from this film is that Kristin Chenoweth is a literal triple threat. We knew she could sing, we knew she could dance, and now she can nail the classic holiday rom-com?! Someone call her agent because I’m going to need her in more films. Please and thank you.
#9. How On Earth Did Faarooq Reattach Jackson’s Finger?
Okay, yes. In an extremely random subplot, Faarooq (the extremely cute Doctor) was able to reattach Jackson’s middle finger after it blew off in a firework accident. Oh, and for some essential context, this happened while Jackson was smoking a joint, waiting for the doctor to arrive.
I’m not shocked at the ability to reattach a finger, as I am sure this happens in hospitals often (maybe?). But, I’m just saying, if there is a deleted scene of Faarooq doing the procedure, then I would absolutely love to see it. Again, I have a follow-up question.
#10. Are Manish Dayal & Luke Bracey Single?
Watching #Holidate for the plot:
The plot: pic.twitter.com/v9Y7kOSPAo
— Sleighvid ❄️pie 🛷 (@DavidOpie) November 1, 2020
Asking for a friend. Unless they are reading this, in which case I am not asking for a friend.
#11. Is THAT Ryan Gosling?
— Miss Nana (@sheanniesphare) October 29, 2020
Is it? I don’t think it is. In fact, it’s definitely not. Although, maybe?
#12. Why Doesn’t Emma Roberts Have An Oscar?
i definitely watch #holidate on netflix for the plot
— Olive Hateem (@olivehateem_) November 5, 2020
Approximately 3/4th way through the movie, I realised that Holidate would actually be unbearable if Emma Roberts wasn’t cast in it, which got me thinking, why is she so underrated? Believe it or not, the icon behind Wild Child, American Horror Story, and Scream Queens has not been nominated for an Oscar – a fact we absolutely hate.
#13. Why Were There SO Many Half-Baked Side Plots?
From Elaine’s love life to Liz’s personality, there were many, many, many side plots that did not get the attention they deserved. What happened to Abby and Alex’s marriage after she kissed someone else? I want to know. And I want more details than a photoshopped picture in Vegas!
#14. Finally, Can We Stop Feeling Sorry For Single People During The Holidays?
— simran kanal (@simrankanal) October 31, 2020
Ultimately, my main takeaway from this film, is that we absolutely need to stop feeling sorry for single people during the holidays. Is it sad to be single during the holidays? F*ck no, it’s not. So let’s eliminate this antiquated, patriarchal opinion from discourse? Thank you!
Anyway, go and stream Holidate because even though it’s a low stakes rom-com with characters you’re not really invested in, that’s what makes it a perfect Christmas movie.