We Used Quotes From The Honey Badger On Tinder & The Results Were A Mess

Sit down, strap yourselves in and get ready for this bloody yarn.

Not every idea is a good one, and we’re here to tell the tale of a Not So Good, Kinda Bad Idea.

The Bachelor is currently owning our screens during the week and the man himself, Nick ‘Honey Badger’ Cummins, has come out with some crackin’ one-liners and yarns during his time on the show.

In his own words, he’s been talkin’ a bit of turkey and we started jotting down some of the stranger lines he’s come out with. Naturally the next step was to try them out on our Tinder/Bumble matches, right? Right.

The Honey Badger may be pulling ladies left, right and centre but we needed to see if his charm worked in the real* world.

*Ok, the digital world.

Here’s how we went:

Attempt #1: Tara, Tinder

“As the Honey Badger, I somehow cleaned up on Tinder. It didn’t seem to matter what nonsensical dribble I sent out, the guys absolutely froffed it.

As time went on I sent back weirder and weirder stuff, sounding like the biggest bogan on earth that spoke only in riddles. Turns out this is exactly what men are looking for and I may need to reassess my dating strategy. I worry for the future of our species.”

Attempt #2: Jules, Bumble

“I had a few ideas about how this would play out. Honestly, I thought that women would just switch off immediately, that they would clue into the fact that something was up, and so not reply. In reality, what happened was that most of them jumped at the chance to say nonsensical things like ‘I’m as nervous as a duck in a doona factory’. Everyone I contacted responded, and most responded with lines just as ludicrous as the original Honey Badger ones.

A couple of conversations went, ahem, further than most. And one conversation, which you’ll see, resulted in me being so shocked that I dropped my phone in surprise. So yeah, the lines worked…probably too well, tbh.”

Attempt #3: Brad, Tinder

“I was still buzzing off the back of my success in scoring a date using only quotes from Bee Movie. I felt like a pro at this point. I felt confident… perhaps even a little cocky.

While the Badgelor gave me a much more extensive repertoire of phrases and pick-up lines to choose from, almost all of them made absolutely no fucking sense. Mate, I’m from the country and I still didn’t even know what this gronk was saying half the time. But I wasn’t about to quit. I was about to do what I do best: chat to strangers on the internet for money.

And look, I don’t have heaps to report back TBH. Nobody knew what I was talking about, I didn’t cop many replies and as you can see, the ones who did reply were deeply confused. Did I get any action? Absolutely not, and thankfully so. I would be scared to discover what kinds of humans find this shit sexy.”

Attempt #4: Tahlia, Tinder

“I don’t exactly use Tinder seriously as it is, so this was just another way for me to waste time while the ads were on. I figured most guys would either attempt to match the banter or just flat-out ignore me. Much like in real life, I got ignored A LOT when I tried to start a few crackin’ yarns. I had a few men bite and every time they tried to steer the convo elsewhere, I decided to get more and more ridiculous with which quotes to use.

Honestly, my main aim was to get the Tim Tam spiel in and while I may not have got invited out for, uh multiple drinks, I achieved my own goal at least.”

And to end things, attempt #5: The match that was a little too good at the game.

Anyway. We’re all off to throw our phones in the bin, set them on fire, delete Tinder and start again, etc.