12 Ways To Prepare For A Hot Vaxxed Summer
Whether you’re a (p)feline for Pfizer, an animal for Astra, or a mongrel for Moderna – strap the fk in because this Aussie summer is about to heat up.
Australian winter has been, for lack of a better term, pathetic. Half of Aus has been locked up, and the other half haven’t been able to live their best wanderlust lives.
For the past few months, Australia has been in a Covid crisis. Rising cases, particularly in NSW and Victoria have kept people at home. Lockdowns have been firmly enforced by the government, and people haven’t been able to leave their own suburbs let alone see their friends and family.
Now that freedom dates are somewhat on the horizon, we have to ensure that this is our best summer yet. That means planning ahead, looking our best, and building up the budget.
So whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever vaccination status you’re at, here are our top tips to plan out this year’s Hot Vaxxed Summer:
1. You’re vaxxed…but are you waxed?
If you’re like us, then you’ve spent the last few months growing an entire Daintree ecosystem on your cha-cha.
If you want to keep it natural go right ahead – you’re doing God’s work and we salute you. Some of us however, will be leaving the bushy Amazon rainforest and buying a one-way ticket straight to the Arctic.
Brows, threading, laser, Brazilian or bikini line wax, manscaping – do whatever floats your boat. This summer let’s emerge groomed and pruned so that we can live our best life jungle-free.
2. Out with the trash, in with the fash
Hoodies, jumpers, sweats, pyjamas – they’ve served us well this lockdown, seamlessly transitioning from day to night. However, it’s time to dust off your credit card and start shopping for those clearance sales cos Hot Vaxxed Summer is here!
Nowadays there are so many options for clothing it’s insane: ASOS, The Iconic, Industrie, Glassons, Shein – whatever makes you feel like a bhaddie, buy up, and let’s go!
3. Start making bookings… NOW
Forget now… try yesterday.
If you’re from Sydney then you know that Totti’s is already booked out until 2056. Our suggestion is that you should start making reservations ASAP!
THINK AHEAD, PEOPLE! Libra birthdays will be the first to hit and you don’t want to spend them doing something boring. Start booking your dinners, lunches, aqua golf, boat cruises… hell, start booking your laser now too because you already know it’s on sale! GO GO GO!
4. Get that glassy skin
Your skin needs to be top-notch if you’re planning on having a HVS (Hot Vaxxed Summer).
Facetune is so yesterday – crystal clear skin is chic asf. After all, the last thing you want to be doing is spending your HVS at the beach all day long and forgetting to wear your SPF. Don’t let the Australian sun fast-track your ageing process like a Coles roast chook rotating in the oven.
We recommend the Neutrogena Hydroboost sunscreen, Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant for exfoliation, CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser to remove your sunscreen and makeup, and Frank orginal coffee scrub to get that body GLAZED.
5. Practice your Megan Knees
Earlier this month, the ‘Megan Knees challenge’ blew the fk up on TikTok.
@rhegan777Rhegan knees♬ TWINNEM – Coi
It’s essentially how low you can drop without your knees giving out. If there was any time to be dropping it low, it’s 2021’s Hot Vaxxed Summer. So get those quads strong so you can drop those knees low for whatever reasons you deem necessary.
6. Plan the Gram
Let’s be real, this winter your IG feed has been more neglected than the fourth Jonas Brother. Now’s the time to dust off that Gram and get ready for thirst traps all summer long.
VSCO is so yesterday and highly edited pics are on the decline. The new rage is indie/editorial style photos where it LOOKS as though there was little to no effort put in.
Think mirror selfies, blurry pics, and random photos of street signs. It’s time to channel your inner Emma Chamberlain.
7. Every great movie needs a soundtrack
You ARE the main character, don’t let anybody tell you otherwise!
Every hot moment needs background music just like every great HVS needs a playlist. Now is the time to start putting together playlists for every occasion from “Trying to impress my Tinder date with the AUX”, to “I’m sitting in the car park by myself cos I’m bored”, or even “I just got RAILED now I’m OMW home”.
Make sure you have one for every mood!
8. CharCOOCHIEboards
Picnics are NOT just in Sydney and not just for lockdown – they are for Hot Vaxxed Summer all season long!
Charcuterie boards and cheap wine are a staple for this year’s summer. Sure, you can be all fancy and decorate that bad boy with prosciutto, baked brie, water crisp crackers, fresh berries, etc. OR you could be like us and throw on some McNuggets, Wicked Wings, and party pies!
Now that’s a board we can get behind!
9. Blondes have more fun
This is your sign. Right here.
If you’ve been debating going blonde, we are here to tell you that HVS is your time. Doesn’t matter your skin tone or gender, if we all commit to going blonde this HVS then we are pretty much guaranteed a fun time.
*Pro-tip, do it at a salon, please. We said blonde, not orange xo
10. TIME TO VACAY
As of now, Australians cannot travel internationally or even domestically – however, we’ve all got local gems that we can explore in order to emulate our best basic bitch Bali lives.
Don’t neglect your city, there’s always fun places that you can explore beachside here in Australia. Or, if you’re feeling naughty after restrictions ease, give regional AU a go – we think cute desert pics could be fun.
Otherwise, there are always staycations! You’ve been saving up all lockdown (not us, we’ve been shopping), so spoil yourself and book a night in, order room service, and indulge in HVS.
11. Let’s get PHYSICAL!
NOT in the way you’re thinking (that’s for another article) – we’re talking about setting up a great fitness routine. In the words of Elle Woods “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people just don’t shoot their husbands!”.
Join a gym/reactivate your membership/go for a walk – whatever you do, get that body moving so your confidence is BEAMING all summer long.
12. Get those coins!
With the plans that we have, Hot Vaxxed Summer is NOT going to be cheap. Expensive dinners, boujee outfits, luxurious trips – basically it’s going to hurt the wallet a lot. Is it worth it? Hell yes! But let’s make sure we’ve got a couple ‘o coins in the meantime.
Now is the time to get that hustle on and earn extra dollars towards the margarita fund. Take up a second job if you can, start doing online market research, hell, even OnlyFans is out there these days…the options are endless!
Secure that coin fam, and let’s f*cking go!