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Keanu Reeves Can Hit Me With His Motorcycle

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Keanu Reeves is having a moment right now. Whether he’s lonely, or not, there are countless people around the world (like me) who would happily date Keanu Reeves or even just smell his musk or comb his hair. You know, nothing too weird.

Between John Wick: Chapter 3—Parabellum and his scene-stealing cameo in Netflix’s Always Be My Maybe, we are currently being flooded with Keanu Reeves content. I ain’t mad.

Make no mistake, Keanu Reeves has always been there. In the background. Over his enduring career, he has stood in many pairs of shoes, including action hero in The Matrix and John Wick trilogies, rom-com lead in A Walk In The Clouds and The Lake House, and he’s also starred in some of the most iconic films of all time like Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Point Break and Speed.

But I am not here to talk about Keanu Reeves, the successful actor. I’m here to talk about Keanu Reeves, the man of my actual dreams.

Here are just a few reasons why I’d happily let Keanu Reeves hit me with his motorcycle:

#1. He knows how to make an entrance.

#2. He is impossible to not have a crush on. No one is immune.

#3. His smile lights up the whole world. It’s true, I put in the research.

#4. His Saint Laurent campaign made me feel things in my undercarriage.

#5. His GQ cover was actual art.

#6. Seriously, how does anyone get any work done around such a face like this?!

#7. (Sandra Bullock gets it.)

#8. He loves motorcycles and dogs, what a combo.

I wish I was that puppy.

#9. He looks sexy with his hair pushed back.

#10. But tbh, he looks sexy all the damn time, he’s an ageless vampire.

#11. He knows how women should be treated.

#12. Actually, he treats every human with dignity and is just a nice guy.

Check out this story from a fan who met him in Sydney…

#13. There are countless stories from people who met Keanu Reeves and thought he was the sweetest.

Via Tumblr

#14. But he’s also very relatable.

#15. He can be a messy bitch and that’s OK.

#16. At least he has his priorities in order.

#17. And asks the important questions.

#18. But seriously, the characters he plays are making the world better, not worse.

Via Tumblr

#19. How is he so perfect in every way? I demand answers!

#20. It’s over, I’m dead, kill me now.

Take me, Keanu Reeves. I’m all yours.