PUNKEE DEBATES: Here’s The Proof That Lip Gloss Beats Lipstick Every Day Of The Week
Every human on earth with a pair of eyeballs can see that lip gloss is having a real moment right now. We know this for a few reasons.
One, because the Kardashians (well, specifically the youngest Jenner) said so, and two, because so many brands and products are favouring a neutral, pinkish-nude lip colour for the Australian spring.
This is NOT A CALL OUT PIECE against lipstick (don’t we all smack on a nice firetruck red whilst listening to ‘Man, I Feel Like A Woman’ once in a while???). It’s more of an ushering-in of the next 10 seasons of lippie lewks. #don’tshamethestick #butbeaglossboss
Here are all the compelling reasons to put the stick down and grab the gloss on your way out the door.
Be A Gloss Boss
I hear your reservations – it’s a big call to say that gloss has taken the crown! I can feel you yelling directly into your computer: “but what about when it is really windy and your hair gets stuck on your lip gloss? And you look like you’re wearing a furry headset/microphone and you have to go “pffff!!” a bunch of times to get your hair out of your mouth???? HMMM???”
Ultimately, the gloss is worth the occasional weather interference. How many times have you drawn on your liner, with a shaky morning-coffee-hand, way outside the lines and then had to take it off and start again? Yeah, exactly.
The hardest thing about lipstick is the matching of the colour to your tones as well – you don’t have that same issue with gloss. The neutral, slightly pinks from this Dior palette are often the go-to for a fresher, easier look.
No More Weird Lip Splits
With gloss there is not that danger that you get with lipstick when you are three hours into your night out and your lips look like the Grand Canyon: dry and full of cracks. The really tight thing about lip gloss is that often you can get your hands on one that helps to heal and revitalise your lips, while making them look really, really good.
I want to say that this tinted balm has been making waves – but really, Go-To Skincare has done a running jump into the pool, the water has overflowed out of the sides, and nothing will be the same again. Magic.
There’s A Time And A Place
Usually, when having a bit of a ~dark and broody~ day, you want to cater to your inner fun emo goth pixie and lipstick has so often served that purpose. Which one of us DOESN’T have the perfect plum stashed in our overflowing black leather side bag???
But what ol’ mate KyJen has done is introduced literally every possible colour for her infamous Lip Kits – so you could end up with green, blue, even purple lips! See shades such as ‘Ironic’ and ‘Shady’ for confirmation of this.
Gloss Is Low Maintenance, Which Means No More #smudgecity
Ever tried to eat a kebab whilst wearing lipstick? Of course you haven’t. You deprived yourself of one of life’s greatest joys, because the lipstick you were wearing would be ruined.
Imagine all the things you can do now, that you have hopped on the #glossboss train! You can make the ‘shhhh’ gesture and actually touch your lips! You can smash a few doughnuts! You can sneeze with greater force! The opportunities are endless, when you have a light, glassy sheen on your kisser, rather than the more dangerous and seemingly permanent paint you have been torturing yourself with.
It Is Easier To Wipe Off
I mean, definitively. Objectively. We can say this. There is nothing harder to remove from your body (apart from guilt and regret) than a red lipstick. A gloss you can wipe off in one quick motion with no residue and no mouth-staining, so you’re not looking like the world’s saddest clown.
On a related note — how good is Rihanna? She can do no wrong, honestly. Do you see where I am going with this? OK, good.
Rihanna’s Fenty brand has ushered in the new age of celebrities doin’ good – and the Universal Lip Luminiser (a bit fancier than lip gloss, but still) is the one you want to come home to at the end of the day — to wipe it off.
No further questions, your honour!
Welcome to the Age of Gloss! Glad that you could join me.
