A Former Reality TV Star Has Made A New Dating App That Filters Out Dumb Bitches
So you’ve tried Tinder. You’ve downloaded and deleted Bumble far too many times to count. Hinge was fun for a bit, but like every other app, things eventually fizzled out. Toffee? Don’t know her.
So what if I were to tell you a former My Kitchen Rules contestant has created a new dating app, but one that is centred on only matching intelligent people? I know, that’s a bit to process.
Olga Rogacheva has paired up with “serial entrepreneur” Gi Singh to create a new app designed to “cut through the clutter” that other dating apps create. Called LoveSmart, the app “refuses entry” to people with “subpar intelligence levels” due to a unique testing mechanism. An algorithm then matches potential future partners based on personality types or preferences.
I can only assume based on this criteria the app filters out people holding dead fish or perhaps all my dumb bitch photos when I’m posing with an espresso martini while looking coyly into the distance.
I know what you’re thinking: how on earth is it meant to TEST your intelligence?
According to the website for LoveSmart, this is how:
So, I did what any normal person would do in this situation. I tried to sign up to see if my Year 4 teacher was right when she said I was intelligent. Please note, the irony is absolutely not lost on me in this journey.
Here’s what happened when I tried to sign up for LoveSmart:
Firstly, I was sent a code. I wasn’t sure if this was my first test in proving I was smart or not, but I did pick up on the fact “verification” was spelt wrong.
The next step was undertaking this Heimdall test. The pressure was on.
Sidenote: Excited to meet my first match and have a deep discussion over a glass of pinot noir (that’s a smart person’s drink right?) about handsome Demigods.
Here’s a sample of what the questions looked like… it was a real mixed bag:
Mainly I’m devastated there’s no options to write your own answer. My answer would’ve been, “Sorry, I sold my car.”
Ralph sounds like he needs to branch out and listen to some other genres as well. Emo? Punk? Alternative? Straight pop? Or at the very least, some Lizzo.
Hint for the next one: this isn’t the utensil your parents’ threatened to smack you with. I think.
Nothing proves one’s intelligence more than having to answer specific questions about Indonesian food. I hope my Year 8 Indonesian teacher is proud of me.
SURPRISE! Somehow, I passed.
Please note this was a total fluke. I am terrible at general knowledge and trivia-style questions, and the questions in this quiz reminded me of many Tuesday nights where I just sit at a trivia table yelling out random things and only ever getting one answer right.
So the takeaway here is that people on this app aren’t as smart as they think they are, or maybe I’m just the first person to sign up so the bar has been set low and I’ll get kicked off shortly.
But wait, there’s more:
I thought I was done, but then I had to take the EQ quiz – the emotional intelligence one. There was no time limit on this one, but it’s a work day and I’m a busy lady, so here’s how it went.
Basically, you answer quite a few questions and scale yourself based on whether you agree with them or not. For example:
No rules, just be honest!
And so forth.
After you get your results, you can then upload photos and start hunting for matches… I guess. My 2020 resolution has actually been to stay off dating apps, so I really just did all of this in the name of science…and helping others.