Ghosts Of ‘MAFS’ Past: Let’s Remember The Time Charlene Brutally Took Down Boys’ Night
Married at First Sight has gifted us so many memorable milestones over the years, but there’s one particular moment that lives rent-free in my mind: Charlene absolutely destroying boys’ night.
For context, let’s just say that Season 5 of MAFS was an absolute breeding ground for toxic masculinity and the men were at their worst on boys’ night. Well, everyone except wholesome angels Patrick (aka Charlene’s TV hubby) and John (aka a returning fave who was not Polynesian), who took no part in the gross conversations going down.
After the boys’ night, Patrick told Charlene about the evening’s events – more specifically that Dean and Justin had joked about swapping wives. “I’m not surprised, like jerk-off one and jerk-off two,” Charlene replied. Patrick went on to reveal that, “[Dean] was basically offering up Tracey to the other guys,” and “Justin was basically offering up Carly on a platter.”
With Charlene armed with Patrick’s intel, she came to the following dinner party ready for a fight. After sitting at the table, she immediately launched into attack mode. “Should we talk about the boring boys’ night?” Charlene teased, before dropping this bomb: “To be honest, I was pretty annoyed with some of the stuff that went on. I’m a woman, and speaking on behalf of all women, I wouldn’t be comfortable if someone was offering my wife to the rest of the men at the table.”
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS.
At this stage, Dean, Justin and Troy all feigned shock, while Tracey shouted out “Excuuuuuuuse me? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“It was all just a bit of fun,” Dean actually said in reply.
“Don’t play your martyr role Dean. Cos it’s just boring,” Charlene said, before adding, “Poor Dean. Poor Dean. It’s always poor Dean, isn’t it. You know what, you did offer Tracey up and then you were disappointed with the result.”
Dean denied everything, saying “That is disgusting,” with a mouthful of food.
Charlene also took aim at Justin, telling him, “You don’t trade women like commodities. You don’t throw Carly in front of a bus, Justin, so you can push Carly out of the way and you can take Ash.” She later told him, “Wow. You really are an asshole.”
She saved her most iconic comeback for Troy who, for some reason, inserted himself into the drama to defend Dean and Justin. “Seriously dude, sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up, mate,” she interrupted, before delivering my favourite MAFS line of all time:
“You might just want to pipe down, Chachi!” Charlene snapped.
It was simply the best thing to ever come out of anyone on this show. Seriously. While Cyrell may have had us howling when she told Sam Ball that “You ain’t King Ding-a-ling!”, it was Charlene that gave us MAFS’ first truly iconic takedown.
Charlene walked, so that Cyrell could run. We bow down.
