bec jake married at first sight

Tonight’s ‘MAFS’ Retold Via Hilarious Tweets

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Welcome back to another night of Married at First Sight – the show where numerous cishet couples prove once and for all heterosexuality truly is a prison.

Tonight’s episode saw one of our new couples call it quits before they could even face intimacy week, while other couples were tasked with something called “Feedback Week.” I know what you’re thinking! What could possibly go wrong with a room full of egos being provided feedback on how to be better people?

Feedback Week kicked off with some of the couples going to the cinema, only to be greeted by their families who have been tasked with watching the commitment ceremonies. While Belinda and Patrick took on their families’ advice and took their relationship to the next level (Belinda gave Patrick a massage using her feet), Bryce’s mum gave him an epic dressing down and it was a truly glorious moment watch.

But it was Bec and Jake’s family that provided the final showstopper: Bec’s mum went in on Jake for treating her daughter like “an object” before Jake’s sister-in-law came in to bat for him. As the families yelled at each other, Bec dropped an “at least I came here to try and find someone” on Jake, which ended in them finally breaking up.

Or did they? It looks like they’re back tomorrow night, so time will tell how far they’ll go for their 15 seconds of fame. They’re just like the overripe avocado in my fridge — totally overstaying their welcome.

Here’s tonight’s Married at First Sight retold via the funniest tweets:

The new couples move in together, while Bryce pretends he’s being toxic because of the environment he’s been put in, instead of his truly awful personality. Alana and Jason are struggling with the fallout of the commitment ceremony, and Rebecca is smug because she and Jake are now the top couple. If that’s love, I hope I never find it again.

The honeymoon is over for Jaimie and Chris (not that it ever truly started) with the two having an off-camera fight that has boiled over into the next day. Chris accuses Jaimie of staying for the wrong reasons and walks out on her before she can sign off on her new teeth whitening contract. It must be noted Jaimie also accused Chris of lying, and given we haven’t seen the first fight — what IS the truth?

Kerry and Johnny rank each other, because we all saw how well that went for the other couples. Johnny is worried about Kerry’s interest in Brett and his indie vibes, but thankfully she ranks Johnny number one. Meanwhile Liam clearly didn’t get advice from the lads who had previously not ranked their wives number one – he put Georgia behind Kerry, before trying to say it was a “tie”.

Belinda and Patrick go into the cinema for a private viewing – and surprise, it’s their families! They all discuss Belinda and Patrick’s relationship moving slowly, because there’s nothing more fun than discussing sex with your mum and dad!

Melissa and Bryce are up next and Bryce’s mum gives him an absolute earful, saying he’s acting like a defensive rooster with his chest out and that he’s at an age where “enough is enough”. You just love to see it!

Belinda gives Patrick an, uh, erotic massage. With her feet. And by pummelling him with her hands. And by then walking on him. I guess it’s not really that erotic after all.

Melissa and Bryce, fresh from seeing their families, decide it’s the two of them against the world. Seems healthy!

Our favourite top couple, Bec and Jake are on the rocks again! Who could’ve seen this coming? Not me! They then attend their family meetup and it’s a shit-hot mess with Bec’s mum going in on Jake, before his family steps in to defend him.

Jake dumps Bec on the spot and she seems shocked by it. “We were so great!” she says. The rest of Australia sighs loudly and slowly, the life officially drained from our tired, limp, bloodless little bodies.