An Investigation: Have The Experts On ‘MAFS’ Touched The Plate Of Macarons In Front Of Them?

Ahoy hoy, just your Married At First Sight correspondent here. Every February I sign a special contract where I agree to talk about this show and only this show for the next three months.

We’ve made it through our first week of weddings and our experts have been busy diligently matching couples up based on how much drama they could possibly create in a short amount of time.

Each episode we see our fave matchmakers Trish, John and Mel sit around a table and discuss at length why they’re matching two people up. They’re often gleeful, sometimes proud, and always smiling gently, in only that way psychologists can. (If you know, you know.)

Matchmaking people is hard work. There’s no doubt in my mind that sitting around a table all day discussing personality traits can be draining. So of course the experts deserve a little sweet macaron or two, as a treat.

The thing is, we couldn’t help but notice throughout each episode this week that the experts are sitting in front of a plate of macarons and just IGNORING THEM.

Will one of the experts just fucking eat a macaron I swear to god… #MAFS pic.twitter.com/5K143bz638

— Tahlia Pritchard (@Tahls) February 5, 2020

You can’t trust anyone that isn’t tempted by a treat when it’s sitting blatantly in front of you. What kind of willpower do these experts have? What else is a lie here? Is there anything in their coffee cups? I don’t even like macarons all that much but I still would’ve eaten the whole plate by the time I finished staring at a photo of Josh.

We’re not the only ones who have noticed this insanity. People have been tweeting as early as the first episode of Married At First Sight that our experts don’t seem all that hungry or tempted.

Another year, another plate of untouched macaroons #MAFS pic.twitter.com/fDanCPIfRC

— Dean Nye (@Dean_Nye) February 3, 2020

Are the macarons a metaphor? That if you are truly happy and content with life, you don’t just jump at any treat that presents itself to you? Am I talking about macarons now or the hot guy at my gym? I don’t know!!!!

I did what only a crazy MAFS-obsessed person would do. I went through every episode of this week’s Married At First Sight to see if the experts ate any macarons.

I’m not a hero or a Walkley-winning journalist, which is hard to believe I know. But this is the investigation that the people of Australia deserve.

Episode one: Monday’s Macarons

And we’re off. “Here we go, the start of a new group of singles!” John exclaimed in front of a fresh pot of coffee.

As we can see, there are quite a few different macarons on the plate in front of them – I am going to guess (without being able to see all angles on the plate) there’s 12-14.

At 28 minutes into episode one, the experts start talking about how people who take “the mask off” are the people who have a higher chance of making this experiment work. No one has yet to take a macaron off the plate.

John is willfully averting his eyes, as though he’s just spotted an ex at the train station.

The experts match Poppy and Luke, and Josh and Cathy. We are 35 minutes in. I reckon our boy John is thinking about it. He’s got the glazed over look I get when I’m halfway through a workday and need someone to open the Double Coat Tim Tams to take the responsibility out of my hands.

Episode one analysis: No macaron has been hurt in the making of this episode.

Episode two: Tuesday’s Treats

John says it! He says the words, “Now I want to talk about…” and one can only assume the sentence will end with “…the macarons sitting in front of us that we haven’t even tried yet! Haha! Ladies, let’s dig in!”

Alas, nope. He was focused on the job at hand. He wanted to talk about matching new couples up. Boring!

I get excited thinking ONE has been eaten. But it turns out it just somehow kind of blended in with John’s hand for a second there.

The yellow one does look like it’s on a slightly different tilt to what we saw in episode one. Has one macaron been discreetly taken from the other side, causing our top one to topple over slightly?

Here’s a helpful side-by-side guide from episode one and two:

Episode two analysis: I have deduced a macaron was moved in the making of this episode, but not consumed.

Episode three: Wednesday’s Willpower

Was Wednesday’s episode the one where our experts broke and finally, finally swore off ‘I Quit Sugar’ and devoured the whole damn plate? Let’s find out.

Oh my God, you guys, he’s doing it, he’s going in…

Nup, never mind.

And they’re onto matching up Vanessa and Chris, yet still… A FULL PLATE. I am stressed out. I’m questioning EVERYTHING.  Are they even real or are they just prop macarons? Are the experts shredding? Have I even tried a macaron before or do I just assume I don’t like them because I’d rather smash some caramel slice? Is week one of MAFS too early on to lose the plot completely?

Episode three analysis: The experts simply give no fucks about the macarons.

Final results of week one of the investigation:

Our findings report the experts did NOT eat the macarons at all when matching up our first six couples. We also considered when conducting the research into #MacaronGate2020, evidence suggests that the experts did do the filming of these scenes in one day. Therefore the order of which the couples are shown may not be the right order of how the events went on the day, hence why the coffee pot disappears and reappears. (But that’s another story.)

Assuming it still takes quite a few hours of filming and discussion as well as reshooting scenes, the macarons were simply there for a decorative standpoint and not to nourish our poor experts.

From Sunday onwards, we will see our experts match more couples and will keep a close eye on #MacaronGate2020 to see if there have been any further developments.

We have also reached out to John Aiken for comment and will update as soon as more vital information comes to light.