01 Jul 2019

26 Things That Happen On Literally Every Single Season of ‘MasterChef’

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It’s hard to believe we’re up to the eleventh season of MasterChef Australia and the series shows little sign of slowing down.

Though the reality cooking competition is still going strong, after so many seasons it has become a tad predictable. As with all reality shows, the same challenges and trends pop up each year.

So we’ve collected all of the things we’ve come to expect from MasterChef every damn season.

Here are 26 things that happen on every season of MasterChef:

#1. Someone cries when telling the judges their recently passed relative taught them how to make their dish.

We can assume if you’re Italian then your dead nonna taught you how to make fresh pasta. Spare us the 10-minute anecdote.

#2. Matt wears outrageous suits.

There are not many things as certain in this cruel world as Matt’s bold fashion choices — typically a bright suit and complimentary cravat. I don’t how but he always pulls it off.

#3. Maggie Bear appears and everyone hugs her and cries.

She’s just like your own mother only she’s actually a complete stranger.

#4. A contestant blubbers on about their ‘food dream’.

From opening a dessert bar in Rockhampton to starting a Korean barbecue food van, contestants love to bang on about their ultimate food dream.

#5. George yells ‘BOOM, BOOM! SHAKE THE ROOM!’ to no one in particular.

I don’t know how this became the series’ catchphrase but here we are.

#6. The judges make us think the dish is bad and then it turns out to be a knockout.

There’s a reason why the expression “disgustingly good” is, well, not an expression at all. It’s all about faking that drama.

#7. In a team challenge, someone will stuff up and let everyone down.

Every group has its weakest link and the contestants often aren’t shy about telling the judges who was to blame. But they always hug it out.

#8. Someone says their dish is “me on a plate.”

You mean to say that the person who cooked this dish is reflecting in its food?! I am shook! What a concept!

#9. The topic of risotto causes mayhem.

Don’t even say the word risotto in the MasterChef kitchen. It’s become known as the death dish but someone always tries to do it anyway and is rightly scolded.

#10. Someone pulls out the blowtorch for a crème brûlée…having never used one before.

Just wing it! What’s the worst that could happen? Fire is perfectly safe.

#11. Everyone fangirls over Nigella Lawson who always seems incredibly horny.

She’ll flirt with everyone and leave a trail of broken hearts in her path as she leaves. No one is immune to her charm. What. A. Woman.

#12. The relay challenge is a complete shitshow.

Lest we forget the white chocolate veloute saga of ’15 but every season there’s always at least one contestant who decides to go rogue and the rest of team descends into hysteria.

#13. Undercooked chicken will be treated like a crime against humanity.

Do not undercook chicken. But also like do not overcook chicken. Actually maybe just don’t cook chicken.

#14. George will eat all kinds of food with his fingers like an actual baby.

The knife and fork are RIGHT THERE. George! Please!

#15. There will be a recipe that includes over 30 different processes.

There’s always a dessert that includes a 100-page recipe that’s more difficult to decipher than The Da Vinci Code. This show is torture.

#16. The MasterChef taste-test always ends with a fave being sent home over a dumb mistake.

This challenge sucks and is responsible for far too many great chefs being sent home. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#17. Gary thanks the heavens when anyone cooks crackling.

And if the crackling is good he goes into a spin of euphoria.

#18. Contestants yell tips to the people in the pressure test and it is ignored.

Or worse, people up in the gantry discuss how someone is screwing up but don’t actually tell the person.

#19. George eats spicy food and turns into a puddle of sweat.

We all know George’s kryptonite is chilli. But he still perseveres. No regrets.

#20. There is NEVER enough sauce.

Give me more sauce, BITCH. Almost every episode sees someone yelled at for the lack of sauce.

#21. Then they’ll give the judges a whole heap of sauce next time.

This is swiftly followed by the same contestant giving them a whole gravy boat of sauce in the next challenge. The judges will EAT IT UP…err, literally. It’s a food show.

#22. Someone doesn’t hero the right ingredient and is scolded by the judges.

‘I CAN’T EVEN TASTE THE LEMON IN THIS?!’ What was the hero?! Answer me?!

#23. A contestant misses a vital part of the recipe and has a meltdown.

If the recipe says to temper the chocolate then TEMPER THE DAMN CHOCOLATE.

#24. Someone leaves something inedible on the plate which is BLASPHEMY in the MasterChef kitchen.

I still have PTSD from Chris in season one leaving a dirty banana leaf on the plate and Matt, George and Gary almost imploding.

#25. George uses tweezers for no reason.

George always has a pair of culinary tweezers that he keeps in his pocket and uses to plate the contestants’ dishes. Are they necessary or just a weird flex? Who knows.