Exactly How To Comeback From A WH (Wanking Hiatus)
Absolutely no one can deny that wanking is good for you. And if anyone does, send them my way and I’ll give them a stern talking to.
Have you ever wondered what happens when you stop masturbating? Well, nothing, medically (other than your stress levels creeping up), but one thing that frankly isn’t spoken about enough is how to weave wanking back into your life after a long dry spell.
This has happened to all of us, I’m sure. Where you go without masturbating for a couple of weeks because you’re knackered, busy or so un-aroused and then it feels like a mighty feat to jump back into a solo session.
Which that’s why I decided to have a chat with Justine Vallata, the founder of That’s The Spot, a sex toy bundle brand that sends dongs to your front door. (Yes, it’s a genius idea that I wished I had thought of first.) They gave me the top tips on how to properly reintroduce masturbation into your life after a long spell of avoiding solo sessions.
Here’s what she had to say.
How long is too long to go without masturbation?
“Half a day – Just kidding,” Justine says. “Masturbation is a personal practice, there is really no wrong or right schedule for self-pleasure. It’s about doing what feels right for you. The best part about masturbation is you’re in control and you can do it on your own. This is not a performance, you are the only person who needs to be considered here.”
Because “the right schedule is the one that suits you,” the key here is to take note of when you feel most in touch with your sexuality – aka when you feel most horny. Most people have a ‘sex clock’ of sorts, when they are more likely to fancy a bit of rough and tumble, so if you feel most aroused first thing in the morning or late at night after getting ready for bed, lean into that clock!
How exactly do you re-introduce self-pleasure?
First up, Justine says “if it has been a while, don’t be too hard on yourself”. Jumping back into the sack with yourself can be a bit of a mental hurdle, so don’t give yourself any strict deadlines to meet or expect euphoria the first wank back.
Justine admits that even though she works in this space, life has a dandy way of cockblocking her too.
“People might think because I own a vibrator business I’m settling down for self-love sessions morning, noon and night, and while I love the idea of that, it’s simply not the case. Work, family, stress levels, social commitments, sleep quality, what I ate for dinner, even the weather can impact how interested I am in masturbating,” she says.
The knack for getting back into the rhythm of masturbation is putting it at the top of your to-do list. (And yes, to-do lists can be sexy.) “If you’re wanting to get back into masturbation, it’s like anything in life – if you want it to happen, make it a priority,” advises Justine. “Try establishing some clear windows for alone time each week and see where things take you.”
Because they just might take you to pound town.
What’s an ideal masturbation routine for someone re-introducing self-pleasure?
“If it has been a minute, try not to go in solely focused on climaxing,” says Justine. To which I might add, this shouldn’t be the default focus anyway. Some of your best solo sessions may come from exploring, teasing, building up and easing back (aka edging) and won’t end in orgasm – and that’s okay! Sometimes the journey is way better than the destination, folks.
“Self-pleasure is about learning what you like and how you respond to different sensations just as much as it is about achieving great orgasms. So give yourself time to reintroduce your touch to your body and enjoy the process. It could take a few attempts to get back into your old rhythm, but who knows, post-hiatus you might discover new tingly spots and even more enjoyable sensations than before.”
What are the best sex toys to try when you’re returning to wanking?
“Treating yourself to a new toy is a great way to revive your solo sex life,” says Justine. “I liken this to purchasing activewear ahead of starting a new fitness regime – we all do it and we all feel great about it – it makes us feel more committed and motivated to kickstart something new.”
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So what little buzzers should we kick off with? I would always suggest starting small and not too high on the voltage front. The last thing you want to do when making the fruitful return to wanktown is cook your genitals.
“The type of new toy you might choose comes down to personal preference,” says Justine. “Introducing a new toy that’s totally different to anything you have used before will spike curiosity and give you something to feel excited about.” Justine recommends That’s The Spot sex toys like Spike or Duke to bring a bit of excitement to the bedroom (or bathtub!).
“However, opting for a new model of a familiar style can also be a wise investment as it can help with confidence and feeling comfortable,” says Justine. So perhaps an upgrade of a toy you loved before your wanking hiatus.
If you’re brand new to the world of sex toys, the recommendation is always an external toy (or at least one you can use externally) so you can build up before any penetration. Justine’s recommendation for a spicy little external buddy is the Madame Mango as it’s a very non-intimidating shape but has buildable vibrations so you can experiment with different levels on different parts of your body.
Image credit: That’s The Spot
“But honestly, it’s about selecting what you like the look of and what you feel comfortable with,” Justine explains. “This is all about you, and you alone.”
AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH.
So, in case you’ve read through this in a state of panic and nothing has lodged in your brain, these are the three key takeaways to get you back into wanking:
- Establish your horny time zone.
- Don’t put pressure on yourself to orgasm.
- Find a sex toy that gets you genuinely excited about a solo session.
Image credit: @_thepleasurecentre