I Finally Tried The Sex Toy I’ve Waited Months For
Did you start sex toy shopping and instantly become overwhelmed with the options? ‘Do you want 10-speed settings? Do you need one with air-sucking technology?’ IT’S CONFUSING. But don’t worry because we’re here to help. In this series, real humans get real intimate with real sex toys and then tell you all about them.
Katie, who is Punkee’s Editor (and a vulva-owner with she/her pronouns), reviews the Womanizer Next – a clit sucker vibrator that is taking things to a much deeper place…
What is your first impression of the sex toy?
It’s hard to have a genuine first impression of this sex toy, because I’ve been thinking about it non-stop for months. You see, I actually went to Womanizer HQ in Berlin to snoop at how they make sex toys and they gave me a sneak peek at the Womanizer Next. I wasn’t allowed to yoink one for myself at the time, so had to settle for testing it on my finger in a boardroom (what is my job?), but that alone was enough to get me very excited.
The technology they’ve developed for the Next is quite unlike anything else I’ve felt before. Sure, it’s still a clit sucker, so I know the kind of sensation it’s meant to be buzzing out, but this is different.
In terms of looks, the Next has the same slay design as Womanizers who have come before it, but a slightly more elevated luxe finish. The silicone is super soft and the metallic detailing is giving generational wealth.
What does this sex toy do?
Okay, I’m going to have to take you on a nerdy journey for 30 seconds. Womanizer were the pioneers of clit sucking technology, with their first sex toy changing masturbation for the better. They’ve since whacked that tech into spicy new places, even developing a g-spot toy that uses air pleasure to literally suck you from the inside. If you want to know even more about my internal organs, feel free to read this review of it.
Their air-sucking technology is delightful and I genuinely didn’t think it could be topped, but then they developed the Womanizer Next which has a whole new level of air pleasure. And I mean that literally as they’re calling the development ‘3D Pleasure Air Technology’ – like some sort of surround-sound pulse immersion.
SIGN ME UP.
What was it like using the sex toy? And how did it really feel?
Holding the toy and playing around with the buttons is much the same as all other Womanizers, but when I turned it on and turned it up on power, I thought I had broken it. The lights were on but I couldn’t hear the usual buzz-into-action sound that comes along with switching a vibrator on. I thought I’d double-check by putting my finger over the clit-sucker head and that’s when I realised that it was on but it’s just incredibly quiet.
Like, I couldn’t hear a thing.
@stowstowstow How quiet is this?! ? #womanizer #lovehoney ♬ original sound – Stow Stow
Despite the toy being a literal mute, what I could feel on my finger was strong. It’s not the same sucking sensation from other vibrators like this but instead feels more like a gentle thud. The only way I could describe it is as if someone had a microphone right next to their lips and was whispering ‘puuufff’ into it. Oh, and the microphone is attached to a base-heavy speaker that you’re about to sit on.
Speaking of, it’s time to finally test this thing where it’s been designed to be used. Yes, I’m talking about my clit again, sorry.
As I always recommend when testing a toy out for the first time, I start on the lowest power setting. I move the head of the toy around my vulva to warm up before plonking it directly onto my clit.
WOAH. This feels very new.
The vibration somehow shudders through me in a much deeper way than I’ve ever felt before. It doesn’t so much tickle the top of my clit, but blasts through it with a delicate thud. And it doesn’t stop there, as the sensation ricochets well beyond my clit. I now totally understand why they call it ‘3D Pleasure Air Technology’. Good lord.
This is probably a sentence I’ll regret putting on the internet, but: I came in 30 seconds. The shock factor of this new vibration sensation rendered me useless at edging and it was over almost before it began. But that’s when I discovered the handy ‘afterglow’ button on the Womanizer Next. You’re meant to whack this once you orgasm and then it eases off the vibration slowly so you can come down gracefully and even extend the climax. This feature is ELITE. It means there’s no instantaneous halt and consequential shame spiral once you’ve mazzed one out, and instead, you can glide into this post-masturbation happy bubble.
Is the sex toy worth the price tag?
The Womanizer Next ain’t cheap, and nor should it be. The thing is a feat of technological developments and literal wizardry, so if they were charging less than $319.95, I’d be confused.
I know that’s still an awful lot of money to cough up for one sex toy but this is the sex toy to rule them all, so I’d consider it a bloody good investment in your sexual happiness.
Describe the sex toy in three words:
YEAH THE THUDS.
What rating would you give the sex toy?
10/10.
This sex toy is best for people who…
Want to take things to the next level with their clit play and are happy to invest in their orgasms.
Would you give this sex toy a second date?
I’ve already had my second, third and fourth date with this sex toy. I know it’s still early to make the call, but I know this is going to be a damn good relationship.
Image credit: Lovehoney, Suppled + Punkee.