You Can Buy Noah Cyrus’ Tears For $12,000 For Some Reason
Remember how Noah Cyrus and Lil Xan broke up and it was really confusing, but also we were kinda like… who ARE they?
To catch you up if you missed this news:
Basically the two young lovebirds got into a fight over a photoshopped Charlie Puth photo, ended things, Lil Xan accused Noah of cheating (and said their breakup had NOTHING to do with that Charlie Puth photo) and meanwhile Charlie Puth was probably out there like, “WTF?”
Lil Xan breaking up with Noah Cyrus bc of a Charlie Puth meme is 2018 at its peak pic.twitter.com/cjqChvoiks
— Girl Fieri (@girrl_fieri) September 3, 2018
Normal everyday stuff.
This leads us to the present day: Noah is now selling her tears for a casual $12,000.
Cool, so when Noah does it it’s totally fine and normal, but when I do it people are like “miss, I’m about to call the police if you don’t stop crying in this Macca’s and shouting at people to buy your tears.”
At approximately $1000 per tear, it does raise some questions.
1. Why?
Imagine having a sob over your breakup and then thinking “better bottle these babies, someone might want them.”
2. Who would buy these?
Literally, who? Apart from Lil Xan maybe. Who could AFFORD to buy someone else’s tears when you could have your own for free!
3. Are the kids really OK?
Damn, back in my day we just posted something passive aggressive on Twitter.
