Just Hear Me Out: Paris Hilton’s ‘Stars Are Blind’ Is The Most Underrated Pop Banger Ever
Paris Hilton’s 2006 single ‘Stars Are Blind’ is back in the public consciousness thanks to that captivating Bo Burnham-Carey Mulligan dance break in Promising Young Woman.
But, if you’re me, ‘Stars Are Blind’ never left your consciousness: it has resided rent-free in your mind for 15 years. Again, if you’re me, this is close to half your life. If you’re younger than me, stop trying to make this about you. It’s not about you! It’s about Paris Hilton and how she released the most underrated pop banger ever!
The lead single of her self-titled debut album, ‘Stars Are Blind’ was written by Fernando Garibay, Sheppard Solomon, and Ralph McCarthy – three men who obviously know how to churn out an absolute tune. For his part, Garibay is a Grammy-winning writer and producer of hits by Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Kylie Minogue, Snoop Dog, and The Black Eyed Peas, to name a few. Solomon has worked with everyone from One Direction to Natalie Imbruglia and Kelly Clarkson.
But, song-writing kudos aside, these guys knew they needed a pop culture powerhouse to stand up and deliver a banger like ‘Stars Are Blind’. And, in 2006, was there any other choice but Ms Paris Hilton?
At the time, OG reality series The Simple Life was in its fourth season – a spin-off titled ‘Til Death Do Us Part, where Paris and bestie Nicole Richie played ‘wife’ to a series of families in LA – and drawing audience numbers that made the E! Network’s eyes water. Paris had released her New York Times best-selling memoir, Confessions of an Heiress, two years earlier, which led to a role in the 2005 remake of horror flick House of Wax.
The song (and the album) was generally well-received by critics who enjoyed its “breezy” reggae vibes and cracked the top 20 on the US Billboard Hot 100 charts. It also topped the Billboard Dance Club Songs chart and enjoyed an impressive run around the globe, including here in Australia, where it peaked in the top 10.
That’s likely because it’s a bona fide earworm. The cruisy, upbeat reggae guitar riff coupled with Paris’ dreamy, sugary vocal fry and the voyeuristic set-up of the music video all amount to mid-noughties pop perfection.
(Anyone who thought Paris’ music career was a flash in the pan can back the hell off, because our queen has dabbled in music ever since the cultural reset that was ‘Stars Are Blind’, hitting the decks at huge events like Art Basel in Miami and dropping a new Katy Perry-esque video for 2006 tune ‘Heartbeat’ in February of this year.)
But despite all that, anything and everything Paris did in the mid-noughties was relentlessly mocked, meaning the cultural impact of ‘Stars Are Blind’ was largely forgotten in the years that followed.
So, how did it end up in one of the most-anticipated films of 2020? If you said it’s a timeless pop hit that captures a world in which women who’ve been criminally underestimated absolutely wail on shitty men, you’d be absolutely right.
“For me, ‘Stars Are Blind’ is just such a legitimately brilliant song,” director and obviously correct genius Emerald Fennel said in an interview with The AV Club, explaining that pop culture contributions by people like Paris Hilton deserve to be taken seriously, not treated like they’re silly. Emerald, girl, I just feel like you get me.
‘Stars Are Blind’ is a legitimate banger, partly because it’s the product of A-plus pop writing, and mostly because Paris Hilton delivered it flawlessly back in 2006. The same people who mocked it because of Paris’ attachment to it surely would have praised it if it had come from another, more “legitimate” career musician.
But, as one extremely correct YouTube commenter put it: life’s too short to pretend you don’t like Paris Hilton. And it’s certainly too short for us to go on pretending she isn’t responsible for one of the most underrated pop songs of all time.
